My SD 16 is this way....She hangs all over her dad and is always with us. As she got older it seems to be worse. I wish I had advice for you but i'm going through the same and her father doesn't see it. thinks his daughter just likes spending time with her dad...AHHH love my dad but when I was 16 he was the last person I wanted to be with...

I think the first step is making your SO recognize that she has an unhealthy attachment in a non-attacking way so he doesn't get defensive. I dealt with this for months before bringing it up to DH. SD9 would constantly be hanging all over him, laying her head in his lap at a restaurant, asking him to push her on a swing (seriously, not even her 5 y/o sister needed "help"). I finally laid it all out for him with concrete examples and his eyes were opened. Our next step is putting a stop to it, but honestly he is the only one who can curb it. If he doesn't see it as a problem it will never be fixed.

SD11 is the same way with my DH (she lives full time with us)...when I mentioned something to my DH, he accused me of being jealous and thought I was implying that he was some child molester...I think the only way to get through is for a person on the outside looking in (couselor, friend) to say something, then maybe he will listen.

I wonder why they are like this. SD12 is like this as well. Whenever we are out to eat she has to sit right by him. Whispers in his ear while walking up she wants to hold his hand its wierd to me. I was never like that when I was 12. We all went to a party and SD and I came home and BF stayed to hang out with the guys. He came home three hours later and she was calling him and texting him the whole time like an angry wife or something. She even told me do you think he left the party to go somewhere else? I said I doubt it so she says your right he wouldn't do that without calling me first :jawdrop: Creepy!! She really thinks that he should check in with her on everything we do it is so annoying!!

LOL...I often said that one thing I don't have to worry about my DH getting a GF, the way his daughter texts and calls him non stop when he isn't home...indeed it is very odd for a girl to look at her father like a BF and for him to not see it as odd.

Echo is right, it's only going to get worse if your DH doesn't acknowledge the issue and address it.

I recently went through this foolishness after I moved in w/DH and SD. The first day she walked around in a pair of shorts with "daddy's girl" on the booty. If he were working on a project and I walked in the room to ask what he was doing, she would jump in front of me and ask the same thing .. like she was his wife. One night she cooked dinner. DH and I were in the bedroom relaxing in bed watching tv. SD knocked on the door, DH opened it and she stood there with a bit of food on a plate and fed it to DH. I was livid and kicked him out of the room. Of course by this point I couldn't stand the sight of her.

She called my MIL and told her God only knows, and MIL contacted her BM (who she wasn't close to as DH had full custody) and asked her to step up and do more things with SD because she was having such a hard time adjusting to daddy being married. DH and I argued constantly about her, and he finally started seeing all the evil things she was doing and was embarrassed and apologetic.

SD lied and told DH that she was happy that he got married, but her actions showed otherwise. He had many talks with her and she finally wised up . .and for the record all of this happened when SD was in her mid twenties. Nip this in the bud so you're not dealing with it 10 years when she's an adult. By then she'll be twice as evil.

I am new here, have a SD that is 21, no children of my own. Married 4 years.

Sometimes I feel as if she thinks she is the wife. She hangs on her dad, holds his hand while in parking lots, tells him how cute he is.... Has nicknames for him that make me cringe and feel uncomfortable. Will pass up things to do with her friends just so she can hang with dad.

On his birthday, she has to spend the night before it at our house, so she can spend the whole day with him.

I tell friends if he said he was going outside to shovel s***, she would say it is her favorite thing to do and tag along. I bite my tongue A LOT, sometimes I think it will get as big as a watermelon.

Well, I left because of unhealthy attachment. His daughter is 12 and the issue I had was with texting. I tried to squash it in inception. ToLD him to call but he likes the texting - I guess makes him feel important or just like a teenager. Before that we had issues with sleeping in his bedroom on a matress next to his bed( huge argument that blew up almost to the point where i was walking out). He stopped me. We had sitting in the lap and numerous other things.
I left over the last issue - texting. He accused me of being jelous of his daughter the the BM( a woman with a 9 th grade education that lives on welfare and dates jailbirds). I am a Ph.D student and an educator speak 4 languages and support myself and pay my bills by myself. So after all of this I was supposed to go get a marriage license in 2 days and announce my engagement to his precious family. I decided to leave. He showed me the door and did n ot stop me.
He still thinks I am emotional and have issues with his precious daughter.He gets crazy when I say somethign about her. We can discuss his son forever and he can insult his son but not his precious. So I just left...
Mind you he has stuedied counseling and social work. He just cannot see this in his own family and in his own actions. Probably he can but he does not want to change anything about it.
So I left... Now I am putting myself FIRST and cannot imagine a better life for myself.
He still thinks I am the crazy one... I told him it will get worse. He will not heed my advice. I tried but he does not want to work on changing thins or talkin gto his daughter. For these years he has told me he talks to her but based on things and hard evidence I have seen plus text messages- no change has happened- she will be 13 soon and still wants to sleep in his bedroom while anafiodorva is in the room upstairs ( because it is his mom`s house and we were not married so I was not allowed in his room even to watch TV). So the message here I think is clear. And his m other a 53 year old woman said that she is uspet because I have overexaggerated the sleeping issue. Really? But the worse is his daughter till wants to sleep in his bedroom and their romance continues...
Because of her my ex is ok if he is alone because he realizes that no woman will stick around for this. He thinks when she turns 18 he will be able to have a normal family and possible a kid and a "traditional" family. I doubt it...These men are dillusional sometimes.Either too lazy to work on stuff or just like it the way it is.Oh and his daighter like on facebook is Teenage Mom 2...good upbringing way to go BM...

Mustang1 , the worse part is he has studied this and knows what it is and when I point it out- he says - yes I know what emotional incest is. Ok, do something about. Sure I will go and straighten everybody up. He comes back and it is all over the same story again. Nothing has been straightened up - the same old continues. This went on for 3 1/2 years until I just put my foot down and called him out on his bluff. He got defensive and showed me the door. I just took the opportunity and left.
I am sure a similar scenario will repeat in his case . For years his dream and his mother`s dream( I am being told no longer because his mom has seen the light - supposedly( I never trust waht he tells me) she sees how she is uselated and manipulated) was to have 100% custody and have their precious full time. I see that the older she gets that dream is shading away but the unhealthy attachments and overly defensive attitudies continue on his part get stronger.
The sad thing is that I see him - cashing out and spending his life pining away over his daughter. His son has always been neglected. He does not mind talking with me about his son.I have warned him and told him many many times- your daughter and the BM will bleed you dry and manipulate you until you are broke. He chose his path. There is nothing I can do.
His daughter LIKES Teen Mom 2 on Facebook I just wonder what kind of parenting is that? She will be 13 next year. In his eyes - she is so great at basketball and does not give up and fights while his son is a cries and pouts and is a whimp - his words.His daughter and him laugh at his son. Then he smiles about how great his daughter is? Really? She never called you on your birthday, she did not call you for father`s day , she does not text you unless she wants you to spend money on movies and entertainment. You are so stupid you cannot see it? She manipulates you. She stays one more day and tells you that her mother is a crier and you are happy that she belittled her mother so that you feel good and cash ou. I wonder what she says you BM about you to get stuff her way.Oh, you are just happy she trashes the BM and you are both a team now.Are you blind? The demands will get bigger and he will succumb and will scare away any good woman that comes his way until he is 40 one day and realizes that his teenage daughter is pregnant and a loser and he is the sucker that has to provide for her. I have told him all of this. When I did he said that he will not take responsibilty for BM `s bad parenting and will not take her to live with him. The way I see things- he is on his way to take her live with him because she sees that he will soon make more money than BM and she wants to get what she wants to get and he is so desperate for ANY attention from her that he will destroy our love and relationship and future together just to text her. I would have been ok if he has not seen her during the weeken or for along time - but he spend the whole weekend with her and they went to movies and did their dating alone time. Then the texts start on Monday , Tuesday etc. So what he said - I am communicating with my daughter and you are preventing me from doing that. No , I told you to call and ask what is going on . please, call not text - I do not like that. He would not take into consideration my feelings. Somethign so simple. So I saw that he would never put my feelings first. So I just decided not to stay and sign a marriage license under these terms. I left so that he can see my point.
No - he has not gotten there- it is still my fault and I am the jelous, crazy and emotional one. He has not done anything wrong - just texted. Why I am wrong? Because I put my respect and dignity first. He says well nobody did anything to you. Yes, they did not physically beat me up but you with your passivity and defensiveness destroyed me and robbed me from my self respect - slowly and methodically.
I am happy and centered and calm and enjoy life . I am sure he is drinking and smoking and still does not get it. In his opinion he is a survivor and currently in a survivor mode.Do not survive - change do something about it . He does not want to change the situation. He thinks being away , finding a job will settle things by itself. It won`t - it will get worse.
I am afraid he will end up very badly His family and he already know that his daughter is a lier and manipulates and money hungry. Yes , I will play cards but when I win I want 10 bucks. No , I do not want your dress grandmother - give me the money . Honey, I want to get some small gifts for your family. Get them a card - these people like cash. Sign Signs Signs...
Oh well , I am out of this mess mainly due to this website that opened my eyes to a lot of things that I could not explain to myself before. Thank you steptalk!