Even SD's relatives avoid her? Vent...
This past weekend my DS11 had his birthday party at a fun venue. Since his dad (my ex) was the parent in charge this year and it wasn't really age appropriate for SD7, she wasn't invited. Because my son was otherwise engaged overnight Saturday, my DD15 and I went away to a concert. We couldn't invite SO because, of course, he has SD every.single.weekend.
SD's maternal grandma took SS15, SD's aunt, and her pre-school age kids to Mall of America, which has more than plenty of kid activities- amusement park, lego-land, aquarium, etc. I asked SO why SD wasn't invited. He said he guessed she was too much of a handful because she wasn't of self-sufficient age. I'm not completely sure the ages of her cousins, but one isn't school aged yet and the other is still diaper&stroller aged, in other words NOT self-sufficient in the least. Kinda blows his "not self-sufficient" excuse out of the water.
That pretty much means they just didn't want to take SD. So, not invited to a birthday party or with her grandma...I feel a little sorry for her...but dammit if her own family doesn't want her around because of how she acts, why am I such a bad guy for not particularly appreciating her behavior?
What will it take for SO to "get it"? I feel like shaking him. Or screaming. Thank goodness for StepTalk...
- mama_althea's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
Oh yeah, I forgot. SO stated
Oh yeah, I forgot. SO stated he would try to find some "quality time" activity to do with her while everyone was gone. Turned out to be a toy-buying spree.
I guess I am horrible because
I guess I am horrible because before things went smoothly in our home FDS4 and FSD6 were brats and FDH was a Disney dad. I woke him up. It was an all night scream fest one day. I had gone two months with him and his girls on every weekend, and when ever BM wanted him to go over to there house. My final straw was when I had to call my mother to drive me to the hospital after he left me on the floor when my back was injured because BM said the girls wouldn't go to bed and she needed him. A couple of days later I let him have it. It wasn't just his life that he was going to mess up it was mine and I was going yo walk if he didn't change. It would have broken my heart if he would have let me leave. Over a months time everything changed for us BM got crazier but we grew stronger and the girls started to behave. But if it wasn't for the scream fest nothing would have gotten fixed for us, it was are way of "talking" through it.
You're right- I do tend to
You're right- I do tend to tip toe around the situation when a scream fest would expedite things. He's so sensitive and defensive, then trots out every guilty daddy excuse known to man. I think I'm particularly fixed on this instance because it shows that OTHER PEOPLE maybe don't like her. I want this to open his eyes.
Wow, your situation sounds like it was awful. Glad it turned around for you!
Well, it came out tonight
Well, it came out tonight that she wasn't invited to go with her family because last time she went somewhere with them she did act up really bad. I tried to gently suggest that maybe I wasn't the only person who had a hard time with her. I gave an example of something negative she said to me Saturday morning and SO said that it's impossible for a 7 year old to say something mean on purpose, that a 7 year old doesn't know what she's doing, and that an adult should not get hung up on it.
I guess SO is right, but not in the way he thinks. I need to not get hung up about her for my own good, not because she is so innocent. Why should the things she says and does bother me so much? Why is it so important to me that he acknowledge the crappy stuff she does? I feel like if he would just admit it, I could get past some of this. Looks like a topic for my next counseling session.