I am still confused as to my role,duties, and responsbilites as "stepmom"....

So to recap my back story DH has taken a job out of town (2hrs away) got an apartment (which I have not been too yet he has been "living" there for a ill over a month now comes home on the weekends). The Step kids (5,6,&7yrs old) come to our house every other week for a week (Friday to Friday). Since the new job he has their mom keep them Mon and Tues. I pick them up form school Weds and will keep them till Friday morning dropping them off at school. DH recently informed me that the reason he had their mom keep them was because I was complaining to him. So he had to take some "responsibility" away from me.. Now I’m sorry I didn’t know THEIR three kids were my responsibility when he is not even here. WHY? What is the point of them coming to our house if he is not here??? Today is a Wed that I am to pick them up he is at his apt.. I asked him today what time will he be here (knowing he did not have any intention on coming home) he got quiet and said you know where I will be.. then said well they need to come to the house because they don’t need to be with BM for the whole week.. Okay well they don’t need to be with me either lol!! I’m soooooo frustrated I could scream but for what??? I dodge a bullet Monday he asked me to pick the kids up from school.. I said and do what with them? he said they can stay home (meaning our house) I said oh they can ?? then I asked what time will he arrive at home.. he replied for me to drop them off at their moms lol.. again can someone tell me why they need to be here if he isn’t here?? I feel this goes beyond "helping out" if I am responsible for picking them up from school.. feeding them.. ensuring they are bathed . in bed .. go over HW. then I have to wake up at 6am to get 4 kids ready for school in the am and have them at the bus stop before 7. meanwhile.. he is at his apartment!

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Ick! I think you're doing a

Ick!

I think you're doing a great job at deflecting responsibility...Keep doing that...

Some might tell you to just stop and let him deal with it, but in REALITY that's next to impossible...It seems like you're making him deal with his responsibility as much as possible now...Keep doing it...Keep pushing the responsibility back on him and BM, and after a while he SHOULD do what is necessary to fix the issue...

Also...I'd keep communication lines open with him...I'd be very clear on what HE should be doing and what you shouldn't be doing...I'd also explain to him how thankful he should be...

If he isn't there his kids

If he isn't there his kids shouldn't be there either. You are not a parent to these kids they have two parents let the parents take care of them. What if something happened to the kids while under your care? You should not be in a situation were you would be solely responsible if they got hurt. Tell him to revisit the visitation scedule with BM so that the kids are only there when he is, your his wife not a babysitter.

I cannot believe this is

I cannot believe this is still going on! I read your previous blog and was hoping something would have changed. This is completely unacceptable. It is not your job to take his place as a parent. If he is too busy to take his kids then he needs to change his visitation. You are letting yourself be his doormat. You deserve to be treated like an equal partner, not someone's sitter.

Does your DH pay child

Does your DH pay child support?

If they have 50/50 he may not I'm guessing.

If he only takes kids when he is home with them....on weekends....BM can file for a change of custody. He will become NCP and most likely have to pay CS.

If he already pays CS he will most likely have to pay more because BM will have kids more.

Are you OK with that?

If you are....then they need to modify custody giving primary custody to BM and having him take visitation on the weekends.

If you are not OK with him giving us his 50/50 joint custody rights...then what other choice does he have but to rely on you as his partner, to parent his kids on his behalf when he is not available?

The choice is yours really.

Good luck!

Jez thats a tough decision to

Jez thats a tough decision to make! WTF is DH doing with an apartment away from his wife and kids that he gets 50/50? Thats a scam, and sucks for SM that she has to make the decision.. be free babysitter and put up with all the bull**** or have DH be forking over a pretty penny.. 3 kids probably = major bucks!!