I dont have experience with this issue, but i can see your point. She doesnt need her own "bedroom" unless she lives there atleast half of the year. it seems like guilty dad syndrome to me.
devils advocate; when are you planning kids? if you are planning in the next year i can see holding the room, if you are thinking longer than that saving a room might not be the best use. maybe turn one into a full guest room, and one for storage/office. she can use the guest room whiles shes there.
I can see why you would want to hold the room though, by making a room for her and eliminating the future "baby room" he is valuing his children with his ex over kids he could have with you.

I have SD14 and SD6 also. We had a two bedroom home. DH and I had our room and the 2nd room was for the girls. They are here every other weekend (4 nights a month) plus additional time as we schedule it. In the summer more ( SD6 10 nights a month) plus additional as we schedule it. Having two girls in the same room with such a gap in age was a pain. SD6 is very much still into toys and they are scattered all over the room, stuffed animals everywhere. We tried to split it down the middle so each girl could have there own side but because of all of the toys, coloring books, stuffed animals etc belonging to SD6 she took over. My poor SD14 felt that she lived in her SD6's room and never had a space of her own while SD6 had a whole room. It was not fair. I threw a fit and told DH that we had to move to a 3 bedroom because it really wasn't fair to SD14. She is a growing young women and she is stuck in what must have felt to her like a nursery. She needs a place that she can study, read, relax and talk on the phone to her friends (a teen's favorite pastime..lol) and a place that when her friends come over they can be and not have to have SD6 right in there business. 6 year olds have no business in every teen conversation you know...all that talk about boys and what not. So...after a few months of persistence we moved into a 3 bedroom. Each girl has there own room and it is WONDERFUL! SD6's room is a toy haven (as it should be for a child of her age) but SD14 has a very simple space (and very small...but its a room and she has been able to put her stamp on it!) it is just her own where she can have some privacy that a teenage girl needs and she can feel like she is more significant to us then just a visitor because she is our child so she most certainly is significant. I dont regret making it happen.

My younger brother and I shared a room until I was 15. He is 6yrs younger than I am.

When we lived in a smaller home the 3rd bedroom was used as a guest room. If I had friends for a weekend sleepover visit, we used the guest room and my brother got our room....if he was not in the guest room with us. He was kind of our mascot at that age.

For a Skid on visitation who only spends a few nights a month I would not go to the expense or inconvenience of setting up a dedicated room for that Skid. If you have a guest room set up, the Skid can use that room unless there are actual guests there when the Skid visits. In which case an Aero bed on the floor in any room with enough space is what the Skid gets.

When we lived in a small 2 or 3br apt when we had guests they got our son's room and he got an Aero bed on the floor in the study or on the floor in our large walk in closet. He never complained.

When my brother, SIL and their three came to visit we put all four of the kids on the floor in the study and my brother and SIL got the Skids room.

Again, no big deal.

IMHO you have two issues.

1) A demanding and snarky kid who needs to understand very clearly that you and DH are the authority in your home.

2) And far more grievous, a BM who thinks she even gets an opinion on anything that goes on in your home. She gets no opinion on anything, particularly on how you utilize the rooms in your home.

I would start planting some bugs in SD-14's ear that her BM needs to buy her a car, re-model her room, buy her a new top of the line Apple computer, etc.....

Transfer some of the crap back in BM's direction.

If you happened to have more bedrooms then fine, give the SKid her own room. But under your current housing situation, give her a day bed in the game room.

Enjoy!

Yes, too bad a child and BM should not get a vote in your house!! I think this is purely to stir up trouble. No way would I put my parents on a sofa bed so the teen can sleep in a bed!!!!!

I would tell DH, maybe you should get us a bigger house if that is what you want. She has a bed, she has a door so she can have privacy, that is plenty.

To hell with disrupting the whole house to accommodate just one entitled brat! Ohh no! The game room will do her just nicely for the short time she's there.
As soon as our girl leaves home that room is going to become the guest room, we are going to plumb in a half bathroom (since we already have the bathroom on the way to being remodelled we can utilise the 'old' one) and we are going to put plumbing and a bathroom in the out building too.
Our girl SD lives with us, even though she's not home at the moment.
When my siblings and I were kids visiting adults got OUR beds and we slept on the floor! NO CHOICES!
I will not keep rooms as a 'shrine' to anyone! We have four bedrooms upstairs and one downstairs and they are all occupied...OUR room, one with ju...ermmm I mean as storage...one with SD's belongings and one has a friend of SS staying for a while. SS moved out! SD will be back in January...if she can behave herself. Elder SS has the suite of rooms downstairs, he was disabled after a car wreck and was on crutches for three years. Once he moves out, and he will, that room might become guest room, it has it's own front and back doors.
NOPE...no shrines...if they 'visit' then they are a guest!

We have a 3 bedroom house and its just me and DH except EOW. He has two kids, SS10 & SD16. One bedroom is ours obviously, one bedroom is our storage/random crap room, and one bedroom is for SS10. SD16 sleeps on the couch in the living room. If we were to have a child ourselves the baby would get SS10's room. DH and I both agree that it is our home and we will use it and decorate it the way we want to. It is not his kids home, they only visit EOW. As long as they have a place to sleep, i.e. couch or even blow up mattress on the floor, that is all they need in our home. They have their own home and their own rooms.

Sorry but I agree with BM. She should have her own room...You have the room and you are telling her she is not valuable enough to you to have a room. Suck it up and clean out the guest room for her. It can still be a guest room when she is not there. If you do not give her her privacy she will eventually get fed up and not come at all anymore. All of our kids have their own room. Would I love another guest bedroom, yes! But they live here too and should have their own space. You are wrong on this one.

Honestly, this is just mean. It is not her fault that she doesn't live there more often. Why penalize her? I wouldn't come if you made me sleep on the couch. This is honestly what gives SM's a bad rep. You have the room to do this. It is not like you are living in a 2 bedroom apartment. Do the right thing and give her use of the guest bedroom. Clean it up and clean it out so she has a nice room to stay in. Just donate the stuff to charity, get the tax write off. Stop waiting to sell the stuff, it will never happen.

She is a teenager and they need privacy. It is only fair. I rarely side with Disneyfan on anything and she and Elizabeth are right on this one. BM is as well. If I was BM and you didn't have a decent place for my kid to sleep, I wouldn't be sending her. Maybe that is what you want?

I can not believe that this is even a discussion. This child is only asking for a room to sleep in. Not out amongst everyone. She needs privacy she is a teenage girl. THey have the room. They can clean it up, make it a decent guest room, which she admitted she does for her parents when they visit. Just not for the child. I would not come for anything if I didn't have a room. This is unreal that you are all defending this decision. If they did not have the room it would be fine, this is not fine...

Frustratedang.... Are u serious??! They do live with you. EOW. You have the 10yr old boy in a room but not the 16yr old girl bc you have a room full of storage??

Magic- Guess what my house is too small for us as well. My room has all the storage in it and my DD3 and SS11 hAve their own rooms. I just cannot believe you have room for these KIDS but you refuse to let them use it. You parents are visitors and so is any guest that comes over but the guests get a room in your home but not your husbands child?? You would never allow ppl to treat your 6yr old like this would you?? You refuse to give her the room also bc your husband and u want a baby at some point... Are you serious? Then make your BD and your DC (whenever u actually have it) share a room and give SD a room of her own. You said your BD isn't there hardly when SD is.. where does your daughter go and for how long? I bet your kid isn't considered a visitor in your home. Nope just your husband's kids.

This is starting to sound like how hoarders get started...Stuff is more important than children...

You know I have a 1yr old too. Her cribs in my room so SS can have a room and my DD3 can have a room. It won't work forever but for now it will. And if I was going to change it my daughters would share a room. I wouldn't give my little kids their own and put SS on the couch just bc he's only here on W/E. That's unfair. I would never cater to my kids over DHs kid. And I can't stand the kid but I love my husband and my babies and if they care for SS then so will I. Either way what you are doing is unfair. Anyone who agrees with what she's doing... I mean come on this is why SM's get a bad rap.

Can SD use the guest room when your parents are not there since she is not there that often either?

Its a guest room. Right? Isnt she a guest too? I think the real issue is maybe being afraid that SD will put her "stamp" on it, meaning her stuff will be in there. Hmm, but honestly how much "stuff" can one have when she supposedly is there one to two nites a month? I would imagine at her age, and the little time she is there she probably brings all her things?
Maybe let the SD, who is also a guest have the guest room with the stipulation that she sleeps back in the game room if there are other guests there that nite.
The kid just wants to feel some privacy in a place she visits. And she is 14, a few more years she probably wont come at all cuz she will be too busy.

I wouldn't come over at all if I were her. She has to share a room with her 6yr old SS bc SM is going.to have a baby some day and doesn't want to give her the room & bc SM's parents visit at times therefore SD can't have a room. Who cares if SD puts her stamp on the room. It's full of storage anyways. All this is is a bunch of excuses for her husbands daughter being treated like she pretty much doesn't even exist. It's too bad her own dad doesn't stand up and say sorry put potential guests or a possible baby in the future does not have priority over my daughter that is here now. Smh this whole thing is terrible.

I'm sorry if I came off harsh to you. It wasn't even so much your post that bothered me it was the lady that puts her 16yr old SD on the couch bc she has a room full of storage. I re-read your post and realise while I think my previous posts are right and she should have a room, I am sorry for kinda bashing you. I took out my being upset at other ppls comments on you. Please just consider how she feels and your fiance. If you give her the guestroom just make sure she understands when someone else visits she has to sleep on the sofa bed bc it is the respectful thing to do for a guest whom is your elder. Again I'm sorry for coming off like I was in bashing mode.

Maux you are hilarious. Idk you but Aww you always brighten my day. Smelly. Lol.

I think the kid should get her own room. From her point of view...1)a room for an office is more important than her, 2) A room for your parent's occasional visit/junk is more important than her, 3) A room for games is more important than her.

You have three rooms filled with stuff and she can't have one. You have inadvertantly told her she is less important and doesn't deserve a room. I wouldn't want to come over there either. A teenager needs her own space, even if she spends most of her time in her room...so what? That's what teenagers do.

Can't you combine the office and game room? Or get rid of the game room? Or just not have a guest room? Most families don't have a guest room and do just fine.

If the situation was you just didn't have the bedrooms, then I would feel differently. But you have plenty of bedrooms. If you have a baby, it will probably stay with you at first anyway. That could be several years down the road. She is a member of your family and should get a bedroom like every other member of your family (even members not even born yet).