NO we do NOT help with anything ANYMORE. My DH did this too. BM would blow the money on herself and then the Skids had no clothes, no shoes, no coats. And of course Twiddle Idiot would jump and buy whatever they needed. I put my foot down and said NO MORE. Child Support is exactly THAT. Support for the KIDS not the fat, ugly slob that sits on her ass collecting a check and watching soap operas. Now anytime the BM attempts to ask he says "Use the CS, thats what it;s for." And when she says "It's not enough!" He tells her "So give me my daughter and I'll relieve you of your burden." She stops asking after that, God forbid she lets get go of her cash cow.

The kid is the loser in this scenario, which really sucks. How is he with you?

We do not help with school supplies. As it stands, we bear more than our fair share of expenses, so I'll be darned if we take on any more...

Same her for my DH I could not believe all the extra stuff he would buy. He even used to take the skids food shopping every week. BM would spend the $ on Gucci bags. I was amazed the first time I met her - all dolled up with a $1500 bag and there is no food in the house.

We are custodial, so yes, we provide all school supplies. The BMs have never provided anything. No clothes, no nothing.

When SD4, who we have 50/50 of, starts school, I plan to fill her school supply list myself. The deal is that she will be enrolled in school in DH's district. This is because BM3 is bipolar and goes off her meds and makes huge life changing decisions cyclically about every 3 months. She coasts along fine, then BAM. She just lost custody of her older son, who is moving out of state with his bio dad and stepmom, so she'll only have him for summers and every other christmas and every other spring break. So I'm betting that we will eventually have SD4 here full time M-F and BM will have her some weekends and some time during the summer. That's it. She just moved out of her "fiance's" house because she got hit with CS for her older boy and can't afford to pay rent. Whatever. I'm so over her drama.

We don't help with school supplies or school uniforms. The uniforms are nothing fancy - just khakis and a polo shirt in the school color. BM refused to buy ANYTHING for SD15 this year. DH got her two polo shirts from her favorite store (Aeropostale) for $25. SD15 believes she will be buying school supplies with her own money.

BM has been unemployed for a year come August. Her DH makes ~$75k, and they have a $275k house and two gas-guzzling vehicles. Even if CS went up, it wouldn't go to SD15, it would go to the mortgage on the McMansion.

Honestly, BM can go suck it. If SD15 shows up in the wrong clothes or without supplies, who is going to get called? Not us, we're 1000 miles away.

Once we get SD15 full time, (next year, please) we'll be buying everything, with no griping. BM's CS to us will go in a college account.

I say its for the kids that you would buy the stuff not for the BM. If she has no money reguardless of what or how you feel about the CS, its the kids that suffer. I am both a mom and stepmom...and can see it both ways. The BM is a piece of work and her child support is like her having an extra job and she spends money like she has it and not on the kids....BUT if we dont help then the kids go with out. In my case if my kids father helps with school stuff, to me its nice and i always say thank you.... Do whats right for the kids not the BM. The BM and ex wife bitches will always be the way they are but I think if we show we have kindness in our hearts it helps. Make sure the kids know what you bought and that its for them not their mother....

DH absolutely did not pay extra toward school supplies and clothes.

My skid's BM constantly tells skids she is bankrupt ... In spite of CS and her full time job. We have to pay 75% of all child care and extra curricular activities. Somehow we end up buying the supplies they need for school and activities because if we don't, kids will go without. BM can't be bothered to have food in the house either. They eat like the homeless when they get here. BM does whatever she can to ensure we have to feed them dinners... Sometimes they will get here at 9 pm and haven't had anything to eat since breakfast.

Does FDH ever confront BM about this inequity? Of course not! She might get mad and take it out on the kids. I always say she can't really ignore them anymore than she already does. He is just afraid of her.

Somehow he doesn't seem to mind how pissed off I get though! :?

That's what cs is for. However, if I were you, and you really felt that bm would not provide supplies, then I might get them. But only if she doesn't get them by the time school starts. I'd meet the teacher and tell her to let you know if ss shows up with no supplies. If teacher contacts you THEN buy them.

That's how I feel also that's what CS is for. DH and I have two other kids to supply with school clothes and school supplies and we barely make it. BM just does not know how to spend the money for my SS4. DH will say that to BM that's why I give CS for him not you.

School supplies are one of the few extras I'm willing to spring for if the crazy BM were to ask. However, she won't get the cute, fun stuff. Target and Staples will start their penny, nickle, dime and quarter back to school sales soon. We'll grab a bunch of basic 1st grade and preK supplies during those sales. BM will have to use CS to get the high end supplies if she isn't happy with the plain jane stuff I will pick up. During those sales I been able to get a years worth of supplies for $20.

Ah, the school supply fun. We bought supplies for SD every year because BM wouldn't. Oh, she'd offer to buy some and then buy the three or four cheapest things on the list and leave it to us to get the rest. The most she ever did was buy "half" one year, and her idea of half is WAY different from mine.

My favorite was when I was buying SD a backpack (she HAD to have a new one every year). I took her to a store that was having a sale but she didn't "like" any of the ones on sale and wanted one that cost twice what I planned to spend. I told her how much I was spending, and she agreed to pay the other half. As soon as we had that backpack, SD started backing out of her end of the deal. She started keeping her money at BM's house so I couldn't get it. Until I arrived one day during a garage sale to pick SD up and told her to get the money from the house. BM came out all mad at me because how dare I "expect SD to pay for her own school supplies." Whatever crazy lady.