here but not really here.
If I could make changes to how i lived life i wouldn't have taken a second glance at him after knowing he had a child and an ex wife.I wouldn't have let the curl of his hair or the sparkle in his eyes lead me down a path i already knew was ripe with rotten attitudes and competition.I wouldn't have been turned on by his round butt and his lean frame.I wouldn't have been seduced by the sweet words falling from his beautiful mouth.Had I known then what I know now I would have walked away to meet the man I cancelled on to meet DAH.These men should have to take a lie detector test given by current stepmoms.It would ask questions like 'does your daughter have adult spousal status?,do you properly discipline her in a way that shows her you are the parent and she is the child?,do you keep your exwife at a distance and fiercely defend yourself against her?,or do you allow her to cut your manhood off with her kitchen knives?'the list goes on of the questions they would have to answer.
Everything that is potentially bad for us has a warning label attached.'do not use hairdryer near water.do not remove this tag' 'smoking while pregnant can cause birth defects' 'do not ingest silica gel pellets' WHY don't men with children and ex wives have a warning label?
- Asher10's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
Very true Vick.We never want
Very true Vick.We never want to believe love can't heal everything.I think it's engrained in us from the time we're little that love heals all boo-boos.It's devestating when you finally discover that love is NOT all you need.
I fell hook, line, and sinker
I fell hook, line, and sinker for NN's victim attitude. Here was just a poor guy who was trying his best to be able to provide for his children and deal with their psycho mom so he could SEE them.
It happens to a lot of us, Asher...
Yep I think we would still
Yep I think we would still fall hook line and sinker. But we are a little wiser for the experience now.
I'll be waiting for that
I'll be waiting for that devilishly handsome single childfree xwifefree man to fall into my lap while telling all the attached jerks to take a hike and go kiss their xwife and kids asses because they should practice for what they'll be doing for the rest of their life.
(No subject)
Those men are hard to find
Those men are hard to find and normally are gay. I told my gay friend I would marry him in a heartbeat...handsome, no kids, financial set...I just don't have what he likes...
Glad to see you here Asher.
Glad to see you here Asher.
(((Hugs)))
thank you (((hugs back))) I
thank you (((hugs back))) I had a little dramatic issues to take care of yesterday but everything seems calm enough this morning.We're in the lets be mean and ugly phase of the split.Always seems to happen right away and it lasts the longest.then we'll be in the remorseful depressed stage.I'm in the i just don't give a damn stage while DAH is in the lets be mean and ugly phase.
yes that is comforting to
yes that is comforting to know.I will look back at this and smile fondly at the time i spent with DAH and none of the ugly stuff will be remembered unless I choose to dig it up and examine it which i probably won't unless another man with kids approaches me!lol I'm keeping a diary of what has been going on and I'm going to lock it up for future use to scare me out of anymore relationships with the men with no balls.
I couldn't agree with you
I couldn't agree with you more. You know what the REAL problem is? They too were raised hearing the horrendous stories of the horrible men who divorced, left their kids and ex-wife in the streets, married a new young bimbo who took all their money...and so, "SOCIETY" has told men for the last 20 years that they were doing it all wrong...SOCIETY has told them if they wanted to be nice and gentlemen, they had to KISS their ex's and kid's behinds...and that's exactly what they did. The ex's and kid's are not complaining. Society thinks we are evil because we don't like what they do. The problem? The ex's were never told to do the same...they were told THEY deserved these men kissing their behinds, so were the kids...and so we have ended up with the other side of the spectrum. Men who are so nice, that don't want to be looked at by society as deadbeats, that they have forgotten they have a right to a new life as well. Society and the ex's made sure that they sacrificed themselves for them, but neither expects or expected the ex's and kids to sacrifice themselves too.
Peace to you. Too many of us in the same boat.
Geesh, and I'm on my THIRD
Geesh, and I'm on my THIRD man with an ex and kids. I will never learn! :O
whoa girly!step away from the
whoa girly!step away from the self abuse cycle!lol we better watch out because some day some therapist will coin stepmomitus as a real mental problem.They'll do a discovery channel special on it and everything!
i luv you NM:)makes me feel
i luv you NM:)makes me feel so cozy and fuzzy!
((((Asher)))) "Why don't men
((((Asher))))
"Why don't men with children and exwives have a warning label, too?"
WOW! That is the MILLION DOLLAR QUESTION, isn't it. Sigh....
I think this post is AMAZING and I admire you so much for everything you've been through and who you are. Stay strong, Asher - you are doing the right thing, no matter how "bad" or "painful" it feels.
If I had known in the very beginning of dating FDH that his exW would be such a selfish, narcissistic, leech, victim-playing, dependent woman, I would've probably said "thanks, but no thanks" to the first few dates he asked me to go on, I'll admit it.
I think one of the hardest parts sometimes is when you don't have any other friends/family/relatives/co-workers that have EVER dated or married a man with a "previously-enjoyed family" (TM - credit to Auteur) before to compare YOUR relationship & experiences to - no one to go to for support that has EVER been involved with a divorced man with an exW from hell and kids before...the ability to navigate through the sometimes stormy waters is VERY tough.
If you would have asked me 10-15 years ago if I would've EVER dated a man who had been married and divorced - NEVERMIND one with KIDS - I would've told you NO EFFIN WAY!!! Too much baggage!!!!! Too much drama & aggravation - can't be bothered with it.
Hugs, Asher!! We all love you & have your back. Keep on writing here, especially if it helps. I look forward to your posts.
I think now of all the
I think now of all the warning signs (and gut clenches) that I ignored...
..hearing he had - not one but TWO children (but I had one myself so I shouldn't care, right?)
..calling him to find out that he was over at BMs (but she would not allow him to visit the skids otherwise. I let this talk my brain into thinking that he was a great father since he was willing to bike that far and put up with the bitch just to see his kids.)
..calling to find out he was STAYING at BM's and wouldn't be back until Monday! (he was only doing it because he had to bike over there and he slept on the couch b/c they were broken up already - according to BIL)
..going to the bar with friends and NN on Halloween. I wanted to stay for the costume judging contest, NN wanted to leave. He had made me promise I would drive him if he wanted to leave. Both my friend and I thought he was joking around. Nope, he seriously wanted to leave. When we got out in the car, he started chewing me up one side and down the other. To the point that I was in shock (remember, I thought he was joking) and crying by the time we got back to my apartment. (Now I realize that he had no RIGHT to yell at me like he did for something that was an honest misunderstanding on my part)
*sigh*
Yep got a psycho abuser here
Yep got a psycho abuser here too. Made me drive in a microburst/tornado with no headlights, no wipers, etc so that i wouldn't run down the battery as he had connected the alternator wrong. SCREAMED at me full tilt and slammed his fist into the car when I refused to go any further for fear of a terrible accident. Neighbours saw it, called 911 and we had the Sheriff dept at my house by the time we got back. He thought that I had called the cops on him and got all threatening about that!
Guess what? this new job I'm working at I have to support the officer's computers that showed up at my house that day!! I so hope they don't recognize me!!