Oppositional Defiance Disorder
Looking for information on the above disorder.
I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around it... from everything I've read, it seems that it's essentially a "label" for a brat.
yes, he's active. he's hyper. He has difficulty remembering rules, consequences, does really stupid things, is destructive... purposely annoying and everything else on the list for ODD characteristics...
I don't doubt this disorder truly exists, but I highly doubt that it applies to ss... and I don't really have the means to get this info to the specialist without going over dh's head, which I'm not about to do.
Background:
Last fall, adhd was being thrown around for ss5. DH and I had disagreements on this... long story short, dh was provided an inch of printed reasearch documentation to read and see how his previous parenting fails were just as likely to be cause for behaviour as was adhd...
BM is a terrible parent - everything you shouldn't do with your kid, she does. Still.
ss5, on the other hand, seems to have stabilized... in our home, he's more likely to listen, has more structure, responsibilities, consequences; he's being parented.
DH has read through the research, then jumped on my wagon about upping his parenting game in ss's better interest.
ss has been doing really well. Comparatively.
This past week, BM casually mentions to DH that ss saw a specialist who diagnosed ss5 with ODD.
Several questions.
1) wouldn't it take more than two or three 15 minute appointments?
2) wouldn't the specialist also need to have information from the school? And DH?
3) wouldn't the specialist want to know the detailed daily routine or something to the effect that would give them a good reference for parenting in the child's environment?
4) wouldn't the specialist ask questions as to why the child is relatively well behaved in school and in our home, versus in a home where there are no rules or consequences?
5) even if signs point to ss5 having it, again, wouldn't it take more than 3 appointments over a 6 month period?
Things that make me go Hmmm...
Again, not to devalue ODD as a condition, but in the case of ss having it, I think it's utter bullsh!t, and that ss might consider minding his mother if she, I dunno, changed her parenting ways and said no to ss now and then?
Does anyone have any experience with ODD?
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Comments
It depends on who is doing
It depends on who is doing the diagnosing. Some people will just use a questionnaire and some look way further into it.
I dont have direct experience with ODD but my son has adhd which they lump together. The assessment for adhd included ODD on it, but he only met the criteria for ADHD. So for him it was literally a 15 minute appointment plus the assessments were sent to several of his teachers and they all came back with about the same results. I have no idea what would have been done if he had also met the ODD criteria.
DH and I took a parenting class teaching parenting techniques for kids specifically with adhd and odd. It ended up being geared mainly towards ODD and were both like well this all fits SD to a T. She does not have an actual diagnosis though.
That's part of my issue.
That's part of my issue. Regardless of the method of testing/diagnosis... wouldn't they need to have ALL the information? Seems the only assessment that was used was whatever the mom said.
The kid's behaviour at school is generally ok... it's generally ok with us... and terrible with the mother. If the school and DH had the assessments (whatever type they were) as well, they'd all have different results...
They did use my info only for
They did use my info only for an assessment once when DS started therapy, but they also wanted his dads consent even though he hadnt been around for years. Every other assessment hes ever had has used both mine and his teachers responses.
Probably the best way to find out is to ask BM what specialist he went to and have dad call himself and get the records and insist on being included in treatment. He has just as much right to that as BM.
If he hadn't been around in
If he hadn't been around in years it makes sense not to use his info... in our case we have ss just over half the time
I'm in the Child Mental
I'm in the Child Mental Health field, and yes, they generally should get information from both home and school. We joke a lot about checklists that come back from school with zero symptoms indicated, and from home with intense symptoms indicated. That usually tells us this is a family issue. It's unusual for a 5-year-old to be diagnosed with ODD, when they have it YOU KNOW IT. They are miserable, aggressive, argumentative and extremely difficult.
In my clinic, the general assumption is that when a 5-year-old comes in for treatment, it's mostly parenting issues. But not everyone is as great as we are.
That reminds me - on the one
That reminds me - on the one assessment for DS did part of the evaluation was if it was internal or external factors causing it and it was mainly internal factors which they said it usually is for adhd. May be relevant for OP if they assessed that at all as far as wondering if it's just parenting??
Good to know - will keep that
Good to know - will keep that in mind... if we ever even GET a copy of the assessment... lol
Typically, if a kid does well
Typically, if a kid does well in school, well in one parent's home, and terrible in the other parent's home, it's a parenting issue. That doesn't mean the child doesn't present some challenges, but a kid who truly has ODD will be the same in all of his/her environments. They might be slightly better in an environment that is more structured and non-reactive, but they won't be so much better that you think the diagnosis is off the mark - so you will still some arguing, etc, it's just shut down more quickly because the adults don't engage in power struggles.
Sadly, some people diagnosis just based on what a parent says.
That's what I thought...
That's what I thought... seems awfully fast and lacking important information for a diagnosis
It's DEFINITELY (in my eyes)
It's DEFINITELY (in my eyes) a family issue... specifically a BM issue, though DH could just as easily have been a been contributor if he hadn't changed his ways.
ss is not miserable. Just annoying. Maybe he's miserable at his mom's, but is probably just acting miserable to manipulate her even more. Who knows. He's a PITA at our place, like a very active 5 year old boy can be, but at least he's pleasant. lol
Hate to say it
But the only way these DR make money is to lable and have the kid come to him every two weeks or month. It’s easier to lable then find the real reason. Also if Dr said BM is the problem, that the last time he will see the kid and lose years of good money. Sometimes a change in diet can help. Cutting sugars out as soda, candy, and chemical additives can help. Or a all natural diet, what also means a lot of effort on BM part. Like no fast foods. Everything has to be cooked at home. No can or boxed foods
Wow. You could totally not be
Wow. You could totally not be more wrong about all of this.
Ehhh... DH and I are both big
Ehhh... DH and I are both big on healthy eating/organic/natural as possible etc. When DS comes back from my moms his behavior is noticeably worse (she eats like crap and her idea of healthy is giving him a shake from wendys) but his symptoms are not gone when he is eating healthy and getting plenty of exercise and outdoor time. On the other hand SD can eat sugary crap and it doesnt affect her at all, so just my anecdotal evidence alone I'm going to say the poor diet can exacerbate things if theres already an issue but it's not the cause of it.
During my many years of
During my many years of teaching I only taught one child who had been diagnosed with ODD. He was equally badly behaved at school and for his stepmother. Dad had committed suicide after accidentally killing another child and BM could not cope with him.
I imagine a lot of information would have to be gathered to make this diagnosis.
We used to call it
Having a tantrum
It's that times 400.
It's that times 400.
Spend a day with a kid diagnosed as ODD and you will see the difference. They will argue about anything and everything, whether it benefits them or not. They are miserable, spiteful, and vindictive, a good deal of the time. Uncooperative to the point of shooting themselves in the foot. They will make you wish you never hear the words "I don't care" again. Everything is a power struggle.
It's much more than being a brat or having a tantrum. It's intense and continuous and miserable.
Is there a more passive
Is there a more passive aggressive version of that? Like not necessarily flat out saying no i wont do that but showing that they arent going to cooperate with actions or lack of action instead?
Teenagers?
Teenagers?
ODD children usually are very
ODD children usually are very aggressive, not just argumentative. My DD argued with us as a teen but she certainly not ODD lol, just being argumentative doesn’t warrant a diagnosis. Also ODD kids have be this way in both school and home. If the kid behaves well in school, he isn’t ODD. Your step kid might benefit from therapy
http://www.maritalhealing.com
http://www.maritalhealing.com/conflicts/angrychild.php
I found this test interesting...