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Jealous even when kids are behaving

corgimom's picture

Submitted by corgimom on Mon, 03/14/2011 - 10:21am

I wish I could get over my jealousy of the skids even when they're being nice. For some reason it just burns me up inside every time one of them (especially SS3) says "Daddy pick me up!" Why does it annoy me so much that they want to be carried all the time? Sometimes I think I'm just a no-fun adult. DH even told me last night that he thinks I grew up really quickly. I was an only child and I guess you could say I acted like a small adult even when I was a young child, but I'm sure I had my naughty moments as well.

I just keep thinking to myself, "I can't wait until they're older and more independent.."

Every time SD5 asks me to pick her up because DH is picking up SS3, I tell her I can't pick her up because it will hurt my back and because she is a big girl and can walk on her own. I do have back problems and I am pregnant now, so those are two valid reasons for really not picking her up, and I wish DH wouldn't pick up SS3 all the time.

I just feel like something's wrong with me since I let it annoy me so much when DH and skids have bonding moments. I also feel like I can't get five minutes of sympathy from DH. Every time I complain about my back hurting or my head hurting, or how tired I am or my stomach hurting (mostly all from pregnancy), he just says something about how his hip/leg hurts.

I just have so many feelings inside of me that I can't express. I wish I could just get over it and move on. :?

Corgi Mom

Comments

alwaysanxious's picture

Submitted by alwaysanxious on Mon, 03/14/2011 - 10:34am

There is nothing wrong with you. I was an only child too, so I think there is something to that. You are used to having focus on you and have never had anyone to share attention with. Its just how it is.

Let me tell you my craziness, when SD15 is walking next to her father while we are out, I immediately place myself in that position or on the other side. I am his spouse and we should walk together. Not the other way around. They should walk in front of us so we can watch them.

As far at the picking up, I'm like you. I prefer to foster independence even early. That doesn't mean I wouldn't be loving, but you can walk. My mom did the same. She couldn't carry me everywhere.

corgimom's picture

Submitted by corgimom on Mon, 03/14/2011 - 10:41am

I thought being pregnant (especially my first pregnancy) would warrant some special attention every now and then.. but now it seems like I get less foot and shoulder rubs than I used to. Then again, sometimes I feel like I relate to movie and TV relationships too much.

starfish's picture

Submitted by starfish on Mon, 03/14/2011 - 10:41am

i'm an only child, too, not sure if that has anything to do with it, b/c i was also not "planned" and a child of divorce. i remember, dh ALWAYS carrying ss around, probably up until about the time he was 5-6 ~ drove me nuts, make the kid walk. and mil would insist sd would climb all over dh from the ages of 5-12ish, probably still does we just haven't been around her too much the past few years. i know the clingy "LOOK AT ME, LOOK AT ME" crap drives me insane!!

Anon2009's picture

Submitted by Anon2009 on Mon, 03/14/2011 - 10:42am

I think that's normal for little kids. I also think that the real issue is that DH doesn't listen when you talk about how you're feeling. Does he ignore you when they're over? He needs to give each person, including you, individual attention. If you're talking to him, and the kids come up to him, unless its an emergency, he needs to say, "please wait a few more minutes. I'll be done talking to Corgi, and then I'll be happy to help you." In turn, respect the quality time he spends with the skids. This will help them learn to respect the quality time he spends with you sooner.

He also needs to listen to you. Even if he doesn't agree with you, he needs to at least hear your piece and then he can feel free to say his.