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_karma_'s picture

Are divorced guys afraid of a new commitment??
I feel like the boyfriend is AFRAID of marriage and commitment.

Comments

z3girl's picture

I've read this before and totally agree.

One would think that with the nightmare of a divorce and cs, they would think twice before doing it all over again!

DH was pretty quick to want to marry me and has traveled with me around the world for infertility treatments. SUCKER

helena_brass's picture

I think the stats are all in Stepmonster.

When BF first met me he said he had no intention of ever getting married or having kids again. I even saw a text to one of his friends once that said he felt sorry for me because he didn't want to get married again. I don't really believe him though. After he told me all that I steered clear of any marriage references like the plague, even avoiding the word itself. Somehow though we've discussed it a few times (guess who brought it up--not me!). But when I told him I wasn't even sure if I wanted to get married he blew up and said "So what's the point of all this then?" Yea, I'm pretty sure he's willing to marry again and it's all just a front. I don't really mind though either way. I'm young enough that I'm just happy with where I am right now; plus weddings scare me.

DaizyDuke's picture

I can tell you as a divorced gal that I was afraid of marrying again, so I would guess that guys have the same phobia.

Divorce is an ugly thing, very costly, stressful, time consuming. To me it was kind of like getting burned... once I put my hand in that fire, I NEVER wanted to do that again! The good news is, that I did re-marry, it just took some time for me to let those wounds heal and develop trust with my DH.

How long have you been dating, and how long has BF been divorced?

_karma_'s picture

We have been dating for 4+ years. Divorce is an ugly, costly thing but i paid for his lawyer, my parent paid for another lawyer & i completely support him (& his daughter)he was laid off and has not found another job. I pay all the bills. He does small side jobs to help. @ times i feel like i am being used so i think i want the commitment to show that hes in this for the right reason not to use me. On the other hand to I want to marry someone who is completely dependent on me?

mommylove's picture

Some guys are, just like some gals are too. Hell, I am now an I'm a woman! Lol.

On the flip side of this, just like there are some women who cannot be alone there are some men who are the same way as well, and to Druzilla's point, I haven't met one divorced man yet who wasn't willing to re-marry if the right woman came along!

_karma_'s picture

I just wonder if BM ruined it for me. She screwed him over royally in more ways than one so i see why he is apprehensive.

_karma_'s picture

Thank for your advice. I am not looking to get married any time soon at least not until im dont with nursing school and have a stable job. But it would be nice to know if this is for real. I hope it is and don't feel i need nor want this stress if he's not in it for the long hall.

BM cheated two months into their marriage. He took her back and tried to make things worse only to find out she was pregnant and now didnt know who baby belonged to. He tried over and over agina to make it work and each time got kicked in the teeth.He caught BM and her new boy toy over and over again. Once in his bestman's house. so i completely understand why he has trust issues but we have been together for 4+ years now.