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Bratty Little SD5

MamaBecky's picture

Submitted by MamaBecky on Mon, 01/31/2011 - 1:00pm

My SD5 has to work on some of her brat issues. This weekend it was ignoring me when I was giving her direction and then once being corrected to covers her ears and closes her eyes. Lovely. When asked why she makes these bad choices she says "my brain tells me to". LOL At the changeover I told BM what behavior correction we were working on and she said she would continue to address it and speak to her H the SF about doing so as well as he provides SD5's daycare. Oh boy. How useless. I'm sorry he is a nice guy but SF is clueless. it is going to take forever at this rate to get SD5 to quit this behavior. If she does it to us (particularly SF) she is doing it to the teachers....and then how can we wonder why she gets notes home in her backpack regarding SD5's behavior in school. Somehow its always the teachers fault when these notes come. They're to hard on her. Shes only 5...blah blah. How frustrating!

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stpmom2b's picture

Submitted by stpmom2b on Mon, 01/31/2011 - 3:23pm

Ha. Ss5 pulled out that same line"my brain told me to. I don't know what's wrong with my brain" after saying something hurtful to me. I think it makes them think it's not their fault then. Wrong! To timeout he went!

young stepmother of two's picture

Submitted by young stepmothe... on Mon, 01/31/2011 - 9:58pm

SS3 & SD3 (almost 4 in a few weeks) do some of these behaviors. If it's something small, maybe something like saying something rude or flat out ignoring ANY adult's request, they get "the wall", which is a timeout we use where they put their nose on the wall and their hands on the wall above their head shoulder width apart, and they stay there for three minutes (I have heard that the age of the child should be the time of punishment, somwhere). We teach the skids to obey ANY adult, whether it be Dad and I, BM and (soon to be ex)H, a teacher, or their Nana. With the violence issue, I personally don't tolerate it. There is no warning. There is no wall. There is a bare butt spanking. Period.

I know how it is with trying to correct an issue and it seeming useless and hard when BM and her SO don't enforce or help. We have to "retrain and reteach" the skids every week. Doesn't take but a day or two. One scenerio we had was the skids picking up cigarettes and ashtrays and bringing them to DH and I. When we would light a cigarette, they would automatically grab an ashtray and bring it over. I put a stop to that immediately. I asked the skids if they did that at BM's house, and they said no. I told them, you won't get in trouble if you do, I just want the truth. Do you do that at BM's? And they said yes. (They used to bring her beer too. DISGRACEFUL!) But anyway, I told the skids that they can do that at BM's house if it is allowed there, but at Daddy's house, we DO NOT touch cigarettes, lighters, or ashtrays, EVER. And they haven't dont it since. I am all for the line "this is not your Mom's house". Or, when SD3 wants to put something somewhere it doesn't go and I say no and she says, but Momma puts it there.. I simply say "I am not Momma. Who am I?" and she replies "(my name)".

The normal routine for discipline at our house (for things other than violence or things they KNOW they are not supposed to do, so they do it when our backs are turned) are three steps:

1. A warning. & letting them know they will be on the wall the next time.
2. The wall. Three minutes.
3. Spanking. After two times of the same bad behavior, not getting the point??

I'll admit, we give 2 warnings if they are minor (talking with food in mouth for example). We might add the wall one more time to give them another chance. It varies on their behavior and attitude that day. And sometimes we make them go sit on their bed. For much longer than 3 minutes sometimes, and sometimes we just tell them to go sit there until they are done whining and can act like a big kid and not a baby, like you said.