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I think FSD has a personality disorder. Needing some advise please

Unhappy's picture

I have a question that I was wondering if any of you have ever seen or experienced for themself.

My BF's BD(6) I think may have some sort of antisocial disorder. I have never seen a child like her before.

Lets see. Where to begin. She needs to have absolute control of every situation. It has to be by her rules, wants, or needs. This may sound familar to you all, but it's not just with adults. She got in trouble at her daycare for making a group of younger kids sit on the ground and eat grass and she would not let them get up. She displays this type of behavior with her little brother(3) and my BD(6). Even her teacher has said that she sees this.

She always has to be first and the best. She will literally knock an adult out of the way on a walk to be infront of them and when she's coloring, if it's not perfect she will throw the picture away. Even if she has to throw away 50 sheets of paper or more.

She can never be wrong ever. Even if she doesn't know what she is talking about. My daughter may say something along the lines of my Dad likes bacon and this girl will argue with her until she is blue in the face. And when I say she will argue about everything I mean everything.

She doesn't think it's necessary for other people to think differently. If one of the kids says something that she doesn't agree with she will argue with them about how she is right.

She gets physical with her brother. Even if they're playing, she will hurt him to the point of where he is in tears.

She screams at her grandmother, great grandmother, her father, and I.

She has no respect for anything you buy her. My BF bought her 2 new jackets for school and she lost them the first week she had them. I bought her a ring for Christmas and that was lost last week. I bought her a pair of gloves when it started to get cold and she lost them the first week she had them. She just brought another pair that she already had to school yesterday and lost one of them.

She has the worst listening skills I have ever seen. Either that or she just doesn't care.

Both her grandmother and great grandmother think that she is diplaying signs of a personality disorder and want someone to help her before it's to late.

My question is, how do you go about fixing this. I though maybe therapy for her. But I don't really think that will work. You'd have to meet her to understand.

How about removing her from the situation when I see it happening. An expample would be when she is trying to control the other kids or arguing with them. I think that the punishment should fit the crime and by removing her from a situation where there are certain social behaviors expected from her and she is not displaying them would be a great way to show her that that type of behavior is unacceptable. The lesson being if you can not socialize properly with people then you can't socialize with them at all.

I'm worried about her. This is not normal behavior for a child. It may sound normal to everyone who has read this blog, but I can assure you, this is not normal. I don't want her to grow up not having any friends because nobody can stand to be around her. I agree with both her grandmother and great grandmother with the fact that something needs to be done.

Do any of you have any advise as to how to handle this situation?

Do you think that this is normal behavior?

Comments

Unhappy's picture

Thanks for you response and believe me I have thought about what she is going to be like when she gets older.

I have talked to her father about this and he gets very defensive about it. I think he is just so used to it he doesn't see anything wrong with it. He got pretty upset when I told him that both his mother and grandmother see this behavior and are worried as well.

He thinks that her needing to be perfect and first all the time is a good thing and I would agree with him on that. But only to a certain extent. You also have to be able to accept it when you're not the best or the first. It happens to us all.

I'm afraid that she is going to be a monster when she gets older that nobody wants to be around. I've been doing research about these types of disorders and it seems like a lot of people who suffer from them end up in jail or on drugs.

It's already tough for me to deal with now. I even started stopping her when I see it and explaining to her that it's okay to be different. That not everybody needs to be like her and that she needs to start working on this behavior or she is going to have a tough time making friends when she gets older.

forestfairy's picture

You need to take her to a pediatric psychiatrist for a diagnosis. If it is indeed a personality disorder, she will probably need intensive therapy.

Most Evil's picture

Is there any way you can explain what an appropriate behavior or response would be, and then reward her if she does that?

ex. letting others go first, dropping it if there is a pointless disagreement, not beating up kids smaller than her, for a start??!!

and my first instinct is to punish her if she does NOT do the appropriate behavior after she gets enough warnings of the nice way to do things.

Sorry but not sure this is a disorder, possibly just stubbornness and bossiness (like my sister, is where I recognize this from lol)!!!