I don't HAVE TO like her...
Taken me long enough to realize this....I don't HAVE TO like DH's daughter anymore than I have to like a total stranger on the street....
I made a comment to DH the other day about skid visit this weekend. I was joking around about how staying home and wrapping would be so much more fun than going out to MIL's. But, he knows that I'm not looking forward to super happy fun time. That's when he said to me "Admit it, you like SD"
I just looked at him like he had two heads. Didn't say anything. But, if I had said something it would have gone a little like this: "Really? What gave you that impression? Is it the fact that everytime we go see her she throws about 40 tantrums for the duration of our stay? Or the fact that she acts like she is 3 years old, rather than almost 7? Orrrr maybe that she will purposely not include me in anything like i'm not even there? Or maybe that she will constantly interupt me while I am trying to talk or come and scream in my ear, or kick and scream and end up kicking me about a dozen times in the process, Or do I just love the fact that you have a kid with someone else and the idiot mother is tied to you for the rest of our lives? Orrr the fact that I want to puke when she talks like a baby? Or the fact that she has zero manners and zero respect for met whatsoever, Or sits in a highchair and uses a sippy cup and soaks it all in? Orrr maybe when she starts to act pissy when I give you any affection? Yeah, you are right DH, it's great fun. I love it...."
Yes, as much as I don't like to think about it, I know the reality of the line that "SD is a part of DH". Well, MIL is a part of DH too, so does that mean that I haveto think she's just swell when she acts rediculous and makes me grit my teeth the whole time I'm around her? Don't think so.
And to prevent any flaming about this: No, I'm not mean to skid when I see her, I am decent and respectful. I would never say any of these things infront of her or to her.
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Cheers, Tofurkey. I don't
Cheers, Tofurkey. I don't like either one of my skids, just really don't care for them at all. You are not alone and its okay to feel that way.
Thanks . I just don't like
Thanks
. I just don't like that as SM we are expected to bust at the seams in warm fuzzy feelings about these kids, you know?
Absolutely. I love the way
Absolutely. I love the way everyone looks at me like I'm from the planet Neptune when I point out bad behavior or don't pee myself with delight because SS10 drew a picture of himself or when I don't faint at the sight of SD6's beauty. Give me a break.
Omg, I know what you mean. SD
Omg, I know what you mean. SD drew a pic the last visit , nothing special, just average I guess, but everyone ooooo'd and ahhhhh'd over it then looked at me like I was an asshole for me not having tears of joy in my eyes?!
I agree with this. When I
I agree with this. When I told my BF that my close friends were more important to me than his kids he flipped a lid and told me that wasn't right. We still have an issue with it today.
Exactly, I can't stand
Exactly, I can't stand bratty, entitled, baby-ish kids. It drives me nuts when they act that way, whether it be SD or any other kid.
No, you do not have to "feel"
No, you do not have to "feel" anything, Tofu. It is not your kid anymore than the kid next door no matter what anyone will say to you.
" Oh, you have to love the SK because you are married to their father, it is your duty to love them as your own." :?
Really??? Gotta love how they try to train us to be unnatural with our own instincts and intuition.
DH: " Oh Butterfly! SD6 loves you..."
Really? That's why she comes and goes without a mere hello or goodbye and ignores me the whole time watching for the chance to get me out of the picture and act like a baby when the two of you are alone. Yeah, that's real, unconditional love buddy. In the words of Steve Tyler, " Dream On."
My BF says the same thing to
My BF says the same thing to me about his daughter. She will never say hello or goodbye and talks about me in 3rd person. Then when I ask my BF if she has something against me (besides the obvious) he ALWAYS tells me "She really likes you, I think I would know my daughter." OKAY WHATEVER!
How about the infamous; "Oh
How about the infamous;
"Oh how I wish you were their real mother!"
NO.THANK.YOU.
Butterfly and StillSearching
Butterfly and StillSearching - I absoloutly hate it when my DH pulls that crap too. Like that's supposed to make the clouds part and the angels will sing down from heaven and all will be right with the world then huh? blah..
StillSearching, I think we
StillSearching, I think we must have super powers and become invisible. I deal with that too, never addressed as only party.
DH thinks that when she will ask, "Where is Butterfly" that it is out of love. I know what that means. " I hope butterfly does not come" as SD6 walks out the door with DH without even a goodbye, kiss my ass, nothing.
" Stepmother Superpowers!"
ability to become invisible)
Wait! That's love in their eyes.
I think our guys are in
I think our guys are in denial. My BFs daughter is 17 and wears low cut shirts with D size boobs and he still thinks she is a virgin. HA!
Ahhh! You said the word
Ahhh! You said the word "germ"!!!
Okay, let us call her
Okay, let us call her skid-o-saurus then. It's not a high chair with the plastic tray on it BUT it is a highchair. It's one of the little wooden highchairs, you know kind of like the ones you see people who collect porcelain dolls put them in? Yeah, that kind. She is busting out of the freaking thing!
Yes yes - barf moment, lol.
You're serious right and not
You're serious right and not just trying to joke?
What is it like out in public then?
Me? I want to duck as SD6 uses her fingers covered in snot and attempts to shove wads of food in her mouth dropping it all over herself and the floor. Yeah. It's quite embarrassing honestly. It looks almost like that is my kid even though you will see DH on the other side of the table trying for the millionth time to teach her how to eat.
Yes very unfortunately I am
Yes very unfortunately I am serious about that....it's disgusting and disturbing really....but apparently I am the only one there that thinks that way.
Oh dear God, out in public forget about it! I refuse to go out in public with that girl ever again. She was a monster the last time and I was mortified so I said that's it! No more!
Age 7 in a real highchair?
Age 7 in a real highchair? You jest.
What in the world is the deal out there in parent land? My kid was out of a highchair before she was a year old and sitting up at a booster seat.
DH still puts SD6 in a babyseat in his car. Uhm, she is hanging out of it???
For lack of a better term, I
For lack of a better term, I shit you not.
I wonder with these people, are they going to pull this same crap when she is a teenager? It really wouldn't surprise me to be honest!!!! She will be walking the hallways of junior high with a binky in her mouth!
My dislike for my skids stems
My dislike for my skids stems alot from their treatment of DH at this point. Back when they were littlier - 16 & 22 now - I didn't like them because I never got a chance to know them - BM kept them away as much as possible.
It drove DH insane that I would tell him that they weren't my kids so I didn't have to love them. Did I wish them harm? No (they had their moments) but no - would I leave them out in the cold living on the streets if something happened to DH - no but I don't have to like them as people. They are old enough to understand the consequences of their actions at this point.
But we never see or really hear from them and with 2 bios now, I'm too busy with my own to care about them anymore.
I love this one: YOURE NOT
I love this one: YOURE NOT MY MOTHER!!!!
My response to the skid is...well hey genius: THANK GOD FOR THAT, now go F yourself!!!!
After reading the above
After reading the above comments I am starting to actually feel better about Bitchula and spawn traipsing through our door (I am sure I can hear trumpets in the distance upon their arrival)and starting at the back door - dumping their shoes, jackets and suitcases full of shit everywhere. Taking over our living space and stealing our air. Ignoring me to the point of answering DH for a question I have verbalized directly to her.
She will 'join' us on outings but either not have cash, or a bank card or just stand their until daaaaddd pays up.
Why does it fall on our shoulders to adore these nasty creations, who have lived their entire lives on pedestals, while there are no expectations of any kind on the side of the stepdemons?
Hmmm...I do sound a little bitter don't I...oh well.....