"SM is the reason for breakdown in communication"
The last time that BM dragged DH to court, they both seperately met with these family law advisors. DH told me that BM told the advisors that I was "the reason for breakdown in communication between her and DH and she feels she cannot contact him when she should." I am the reason for the "breakdown in communication"?! How about you ARE NOT together anymore? How about that? Okay, yeah I'll play, yes I am the reason for the "breakdown of indecent communication" - damn right! No, I am not okay with BM texting/calling DH about how she "wants to be a family". I am not okay with BM texting/calling DH to talk about things not related to skid. So yes, DH and I are married and you, BM, can no longer make inappropriate gestures toward my husband, poor you! DH told BM that he only wants her to contact him unless it has something to do with/emergency with the kid. Obviously, she was butt hurt about that. But there is NO reason for her to contact him otherwise. She is nothing to him but a life-long leech on his back. I have to say that I was so pissed that she took something that any reasonable person would see as a normal boundary and twisted it around to try to make me look like a monster in the courts. But she just ended up looking like a desperate, needy psycho b*tch, so joke is on her!
Have any of you ever dealt with BM trying to make you look bad in the court system?
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FH filed a motion to have his
FH filed a motion to have his visitation order enforced, and the hearing is one week from today. I have a feeling that this is the kind of stunt BM is going to try to pull. "She doesn't like ME. That's why I wouldn't let skids go that weekend." Buhaha.
Why do BMs always think that they can just talk to SOs about anything and everything?!
Ah, i soooo don't know why
Ah, i soooo don't know why they feel they can talk to them about anything. It's like they have some warped sense of their own reality where they think he still cares about them!
Oh yes...BM has said that
Oh yes...BM has said that frequently..to a mediator and our therapist. I am the reason why communications broke down. What she really means is that I am the reason why she got hit with child support after abandoning her kids and I am the reason why she is no longer able to run all over her kids and ex-husband. Before I came along, everyone from DF to her own family would just enable her just so they wouldn't have to deal with abusive behavior. That wasn't communication...that was just her getting over. I put an end to that. She can act crazy if she wants to, but not at DF's expense.
She even tried to complain to the judge that I take the kids to school and the judge told her that she wasn't there to do it and DF has to work to provide for the kids, what's her problem? Her kids get chauffered, why is she complaining?
BM complained to the courts
BM complained to the courts that I sent her a "harassing" letter. The "letter" I sent was a copy of a list of PASing behaviors and the damage it could do to kids. Not even a month later, our neutral exchange site sent out their newsletter with the exact same list as the main article. I guess they were harassing as well?
The only reason I had even sent her that was because she had "decided" to make other plans with the skids for that Thanksgiving that was SUPPOSED to be my H's holiday. When we had our lawyer send her a letter, she said that she had "thought it over and decided to let him have his visitation."
Isn't that BM stating that HER decisions over-ride the court order?!???!
Anyway, we never even got to bring any of that up in court as the judge didn't rule on BM's complaint.
My day is coming, Tofu... "
My day is coming, Tofu... " got the vibe in my gut feeling going strong."
I have yet to figure out the blame the "stepmom" excuse too. They need to take a good, hard look in the mirror. (if it doesn't break)
Lol omg that's it! BM looks
Lol omg that's it! BM looks like such a troll cuz she breaks all the mirrors she sees!
I discarded of every single
I discarded of every single step mirror. I kept seeing some nasty, vulgar wicked witch reflection in it and could not sleep. :O
Isn't that amazing how when
Isn't that amazing how when these men lived in flea-ridden squats and were on call, 24/7 to the ex-wives, dishing out their entire paychecks and acting as a nieve babysitter sitting all alone by their lonesomes, that the BM's were completely kosher with that?
Insert a SM then it all changes and " it is not best for you to see your child" attitude forms.
"It's all her fault!!!" Huh? Like this is an easy ride.
Exactly....BM was only happy
Exactly....BM was only happy when DH was miserable and followed her commands like a dog. Once he met me and in his words "actually became happy for the first time in his life", BM sniffed out that she was no longer in control of him and thus let the claws out.
DH's ex cant stand the fact
DH's ex cant stand the fact that he has moved on and is successful. I truly think it is driving her bonkers.
Yeah, I'm surprised by that
Yeah, I'm surprised by that too. There's have never been a reason for me to communicate with BM at all. But then again, these other BMs sound like they are more involved than mine.
Yup. BM told her lawyer that
Yup. BM told her lawyer that I was harassing her and had designed a webpage just to have somewhere to bad mouth her. BM lawyer told our lawyer and we actually got a letter telling DH to inform me to "delete the page" and to "stay in the background" at pick ups and drop offs.
DH sent a letter right back asking for the webpage address since he didn't know of any such site's existence and also asked for specific complaints regarding my presence at pick-ups considering I had never even gotten out of the car. We didn't hear anything else about me "harassing" her and, not surprisingly, didn't ever receive a webpage address or any specifics.
At the next meeting our lawyer said that apparently BM just had an issue with me and that as time goes on BM will "just have to get over it". I don't see her getting over it anytime soon and fully expect to have to defend myself again in the future.
Omg what a joke that woman
Omg what a joke that woman is. See, even if nothing comes from any of this b.s legally, what does come is a severe annoyance and irritation that you feel the need to constantly be on guard to defend yourself for no damn reason. That ALONE is enough!!
I would not advise DH's
I would not advise DH's ex-thing to ever try to text/ call me.
She has "opps" called the cell and I pick it up and she quickly hangs up as if I can't read the caller ID. :?
If the ex and ex feel the need to communicate on a daily basis about B.S. they should have just stayed married and played " fake, happy family."
Tofu- I told DH that he
Tofu-
I told DH that he needed to "picture" a bird sitting on the corner of a roof outdoors, constantly on guard and looking out for predators. That was an accurate despiction of the scenario.
I think in another decade there will be a form of P.T.S.D for this.
Lol, that's actually a really
Lol, that's actually a really good comparison! Perhaps I would be a cute little chickadee and BM would be a nasty disease-ridden stupid looking pigeon.
Perhaps you are the reason.
Perhaps you are the reason. Perhaps she is. Perhaps it is him. Perhaps it is each and every one of you.
There is often a breakdown in communication when it comes to my husband and his ex. I think I contributed massively to the the explosion of screaming and yelling that took place years ago. I didn't know that he used to be married to the most vindictive and neurotic woman that I have truly, honestly ever known. So I thought that my advice to my husband would be productive and helpful. Instead it came right back to me like a boomerang and hit me square in the face. She withheld visitation, she filed false assault charges against me, fabricated stories of domestic violence/abuse against my husband, filed phone harassment charges when my husband would call her numerous times after she told him that he would never see the girls again... and I could go on and on.
It's a grasp at control. For all of us. I thought it was stupid, all the shit he put up with. I told him to stop... based on my own need to control the situation... my husband just wanted to make me happy, so he set boundaries... and she fuh-lipped. She knew that his new boundary setting was based on my disdain. She liked their prior arrangement, where she would bitch and moan and he would give her what she wanted just so she would shut up.
It's always about control for her. She FEELS so out of control so she claws her way any way she can to gain some sense of it. I kind of laugh at her bossy ways anymore. The whole demanding-and-not-ever-asking bit she so often does. It's comical in a way because it's so unnecessary. Her life would be so much better if she would just chill out a little bit; if she could ever let go of thinking that she has to be such a bitch to get what she wants. Let go of the idea that the whole world is out to get her and that ANYONE would ever spend an ounce of precious time TRYING to make her as miserable as she insists on being.
So I guess my long, long winded point is that she will forever blame me.
Because if it isn't my fault? That means she would be accountable, even if partially, for her own miserable existence... and she simply can not bear that thought.