Well the SDs haven't been to our house but once since christmas. It was a weekend full of choas and noise as usual. Fights about them actually changing clothes when we go somewhere, not wearing the same thing all weekend long.

Other than that it's been quiet about them and BM. DH doesn't any longer tell me ANYTHING about SDs or BM. I'm not sure I like the silence. I have no idea what's coming or what to expect. I told DH last year that I was sick of all the contact he and BM had and I wanted it TO STOP NOW! The older SD11 has a cell phone, no reason to have constant nightly contact with BM to talk to your kids.

He finally agreed (I guess) and says he doesn't hear from the SDs or BM unless there is a problem. Well supposedly SD11 had surgery on her knee in January, they were at our house in February. The scar on her knee reminded me of the one you'd get from a deep scratch, not a surgery, but whatever. BM came to the car, I looked the other way because Jabba the Slut makes me want to puke with her unwashed hair/body and no teeth. YUCK.

BM was spewing out some crap that SD11 didn't want to start her medicine at our house because she wasn't comfortable doing it at our house. WTF are you trying to say BM? That's what I wanted to say. Instead uncontrollably I just let out a sign. DH is such a spineless B*tch to BM. If this had been me and my EXH it would have been world war III. But ExH knows better.

So then DH pulls off after BM saying the same thing like 6 times. We get it Jabba the Slut Dumbazz. The other stupid thing BM says is that SD11 needs to spend 3 minutes a day rubbing her scar to desensitize it. WHAT? Then she turned around and said that SD11's medicine was to help her feel normal pain because she doesn't. REALLY? Contradicting much?

Whatever. I feel like DH is still talking to all of them but just not letting me know. I think him and SD11 probably text alot but I never know about it. It makes me feel weird, like she's his secret girlfriend. Maybe I'm to blame because I can't stand the drama these people bring and I get upset because they treat DH like an idiot and he ALLOWS IT.

I know DH is talking to BM more than he says because he slips up and says "bm says xyz" and I always counter with "oh when did she say that". Then he realizes that he told on himself and makes a cover story. I wonder what he's doing while he's gone, working 4 hours away for the last 4 months.

DH seems to be taking alot of afternoon naps, not answering my texts. It can be as much as an hour or 3 hours. I don't text him constantly and while he's been gone, our text/communication has gone to like 4 times a day. When he was working in town he was texting/calling like 8-9 times a day. I have noticied I don't ever text or call first unless I need something from him or have to tell him something about OUR DD17mo.

Maybe I've just lost all respect for the man. I know our relationship is in the toilet and our sex life - NON EXSISTENT. I am in by defintion a "sexless marriage". I know people say it's not about the physical but if that's bad and everyting else is too than you know your marriage is done for. I feel like once I stopped pretending to "like SDs" and actually told him how I felt about the BM communication that our marriage was doomed.

Right now, I can't financially leave and maybe I'm too lazy to. I don't feel like moving and explaining to my older children why my 2nd marriage didn't make it. I know it's a cop out but for now it is what it is. I don't feel like trying to start over, I don't have DH all over me, so It's easy to just entertain his few communications during the week and his barely cuddles on the weekends.

At least he is giving DD17mo's attention like he should be, she still pushes him away but that's his fault. I have been in a mental fog for months now and I don't see it stopping. I told DH after SDs left last time, we fight too much when they are around and something has got to give, I just can't take it. It was stupid stuff, I asked him to put a canvas I had made of a picture I took while DH, me, DD and my kids were on vacation last year. I told him it was to go over BD9's bed, I bought it for her. He got all snooty about it. "why can't it just go somewhere in the room?" Why? BECAUSE I BOUGHT IT FOR MY DAUGHTER!!!

I told him he was being a total ass and he changes to that when SDs come over. He denies it but it's obvious to the rest of us. DD17mo decided that SD11 wasn't going to lay on her daddy and got in his lap and pushed SD11's head of DH. I just looked at DH and said you want her attention, take it when she gives it to you. That's a normal toddler thing, she does it to my 2 as well. I just tell them it's a baby thing and explain they did it too.

Well that's just a catch up to get it out of my head. The SDs I'm sure will be here the next weekend because it's SD8's birthday. She will be 9 and ready for DH to splurge on her. My daughter will be 10 a few days later but SD9 will continue to say it's her BIRTHDAY WEEKEND. She'll probably wear a stupid birthday girl crown over again all weekend. My daughter is upset I won't have a party but no one comes out to our house, too far and I won't expect my friends to buy for his PRINCESS SD, so it's not happening.