Ok, this is a very touchy subject for me. I have no problem with a parent bathing with their child up and until the point that the child begins to take notice of the differences in the body. However, you are on a step-parenting site and DH and I have had personal experience with this particular issue. BM falsely accused DH of molesting SD6 before she turned 2 years old because he bathed with her. Now mind you, this supposedly occurred when BM and DH were still married and living in the same house and BM was home and wandering in and out of the bathroom during the alleged incidents. The allegations were thrown out of court due to lack of evidence, but it was not a fun road to travel and DH has never done anything since the split with BM to give her something to falsely accuse him of. So if you are speaking of a child who is in a split family, tread carefully.

In regards to the child sleeping with you, I personally believe it's never a good idea, except for special instances (nightmares, etc.). But we have a problem at our house with SD6 because BM allows her to sleep with her and we do not allow it at our house (for obvious reasons), so it becomes a battle during bedtime because she isn't used to sleeping alone.

And the peeing the bed issue, I'm baffled.

Oh Hell No, Daddy should not be taking a bath with his 4 yr old daughter. If BM gets ahold of that one DH may find himself with some accusations that are less than desirable.

Bed- I never let bios start sleeping with me when they were young so I don't know the answer to that one..

Wetting the bed...My SS9 wet the bed until he was almost 8. Pissed (no pun intended) me off that my DH would just act like it was no big deal. I was told, "I wet the bed so he prob can't help it" Well limit his liquid intake before he goes to bed and make him go potty before bed as well. - If its bigger than that take him to the doctor and find out what the problem is. Well this went on for years, I married DH when SS9 was 2, and nothing was done about it. He did not take him to the doctor. I realize it could be a medical issue but I, wrong or not, thought it was because he was too lazy or scared to get up and go to the bathroom. We left a light on and all. What really irked me was when he got old enough to get up in the morning and hide it. He would cover his sheet and wet pj's in the hamper with other clothing and put the comforter over the mattress (i.e. made his bed) and did not bother to tell anyone until I would go in his room later in the day and discover the stench. Hello!The mattress needs to be sanitized and aired out!! Someone wanna tell me he was not old enough to know better and get up to go?!?

Another example of controllable? He was promised a mini-dirtbike if he could make it to his birthday without wetting the bed. Birthday was prob 3 months away. He wet the bed one more time, only once in 3 months after the deal was made. Well only once at our house, so the only time I'm aware of. - Now ask me did he get the dirtbike anyway.....EVEN THOUGH he wet the bed again.. Yes! He did. Now I believe in leniancy when needed but what I just decribed tells me it was NOT a medical problem and it was more likely what I was thinking.

I don't think people should bathe with their child, When they are really young it's too hard to clean yourself and watch so they don't drown. I see no reason to bathe with a kid. A quick shower maybe and only in dire circumstances such as you both were just sprayed with a skunk. I think bath time is a personal time and kids should be raised as such.

Sleeping with your child is also something I've never been a fan of. If you allow it it's hard to break. The only time I allowed my kids in my bed is if they were sick and wanted me to be with them and once when we were on vacation in a hotel. If they were healthy they were in their own bed, that's why I bought them the bed.

Well the bath thing I think depends on the gender of the child and the parent in question. My BF still showers with his son, who just turned 4. Now that may be because we don't have a bathtub, and it's a little more difficult for him to bathe himself in our shower. By the time BF's daughter was 4 though, he was no longer showering with her. I think I showered with my mother until I was a bit older, maybe 6, but I come from an Hispanic family where that's really not unusual.

The bed thing... it depends. BF's kids don't sleep in our bed, but in the mornings they come up and lay on the bed (but we have a studio apt and the bed doubles as a couch...so not sure that would happen otherwise...). I slept in my mom's bed until I was probably 8, but again I attribute that to my family's culture.

The peeing this can go for a while. He should certainly be cleaning it up though (DH that is).

1. At what age is not even an appropriate question because a parent should never bathe with a child. Why? If you have the urge to be wet and naked, how about a fun night with your spouse? If you want to have fun in the water with your kid, how about a trip to the local pool?
2. Same response. Why? Do you want to create problems with your adult relationship by bringing a child into your bed? Just so you can spend the next 5 years trying to get him out? Why introduce bad habits? Better than trying to break the habit, how about not causing it in the first place? I know NO childcare experts who recommend co-sleeping with a child, for many reasons.
3. You tell your SO that he needs to change the sheets and if he didn't have a mattress cover, that he needs to spend his weekend shopping for a new mattress. Then you tell him that if he didn't spend so much time bathing with and sleeping with his young daughter that maybe she would be better adjusted and wouldn't be peeing in the bed.

I bathed every once in a while with my girls til they were about 5. My son I did when he was a baby-by toddler years I had stopped. My kids all slept with me as babies-by 6 months they were on their own-however-I still occassionally let my dd8 sleep with me-just for the heck of it (when dh isnt home). DS will come down sometimes and sleep on the floor by my bed. They never do this when dh is home but he is gone ALOT. By the way, I have never bathed or slept with my ss although I've known him since he was 1.

I have researched the you should never allow a child to sleep in your bed. EVER. If they can not sleep, it said to go sit in their room while they fell asleep, or lay on the floor beside them.

Read that in a couple books, so figured I would share it.

I have never heard of someone bathing WITH their child, but I have gotten in the shower in a bathing suit with my skids in their bathing suits because "they wanted to be big and take a shower, not a bath!"

And the peeing in bed thing, we make ours talk to us and tell them why they did it. They don't do it often, so it's an accident 99.9% of the time.

For a while, my SS would be wanting to watch TV or something else & would be in a hurry & would just stand by the potty & piss in his pants & go watch TV. He would be put on the wall and get no TV because he KNOWS BETTER. We don't have many accidents any more.

Except for the other day. The kids were on a bad behavior spree. They stayed with my Mother while I was working, and SS decided he was going to poop in the yard like a dog. In his pants. He got a spanking from DH when we got home & had to sit on his bed for a longgg time. It's not appropriate behavior. He knows that people use the toilet, and that what he did was not appropriate.

The problem? He pulled down his pants & did the same thing in BM's yard when she had them, and she PRAISED HIM! Thought it was the funniest thing ever. Ha ha FUCKING ha! She also thought it was acceptable when he pissed in his sisters face outside.

Seriously..

I don't think that a parent should ever bathe with their child. Being in the tub with someone else is just gross, and it could be seen as something less than acceptable.

As far as sleeping with your child, I think it should be stopped before the kid enters school. We're having a HUGE issue with this right now with SD8. BM lays down with her EVERY night, so when she comes to our house, she screams and cries if I won't lay down with her. The child will literally lay awake for HOURS. FH is supposed to be addressing this with BM. BM's excuse is that she works all day (this is the first job she's had since before SD8 was born) and doesn't get to see the kids. They're in school anyway, dumbass. Welcome to the real world. And both skids will get up in the middle of the night to get in bed with us. They're 5 and 8. It's annoying, and I wake up super sore the next morning. We have a king size bed, but jeez!

And peeing the bed? I'm not sure how I would approach that one. Thankfully I've never had to deal with that.

1. What age do you stop taking a bath with a child?

>>> I seldom bathed with my kids, but I stopped when they started noticing body parts. But we're the kind of family that wanders in and out of the bathroom while someone is using it and it's not a big deal to us.

2. What age do you not sleep with child any longer?

>>> My kids are 10 (girl) and 13 (boy) and they still sleep with me when DH is away. When they become uncomfortable with it, they'll stop. I don't allow it, however, to disrupt my marriage.

3.what do you say to your SO when the 4 year old pees the bed and nothing is done?

>>> I say "4 year old peed the bed, please clean it up". Does he not clean it up if he's aware of it? If you refuse to clean it up, would he?

I am with some other posters on here who say bathing with a child should be never. I don't understand why you would? What's the point? Throw some toys in there for the kid, it's not some odd opportunity for "bonding time". It's an intimate place, you either have by yourself or maybe with your SO. Dh and I take showers together sometimes, so it would never cross our minds when we have kids to bath with them. Plus I think in some split family situations it just opens the door for accusations.

As for kids sleeping in the bed, this should never happen either. Like others have stated, once you start doing that it's so hard to break the habit. It disrupts the time between couples in their bed. Kid has their own bed for a reason. Sure nightmares happen and accidents happen and all of that, so redirect the kid back to THEIR place of slumber and sit with them to get them to get back to sleep.

I would really be on my SO's bum about not doing anything in regards to the pee soaked bed thing. That's not just an annoyance to you, that's a dirty, unclean situation and he needs to either take charge of preventing it or step up and take responsibility of cleaning as soon as he finds out it happened.

Ha, I love how creepy you guys make bathing with a kid sound. I think it's just faster sometimes, I'll throw ds4 in with dad real quick and he sends him out after he's washed. I'm thinkin it'll stop around 5. As for the bed thing DS4 jumps in with us sometime between 4-7am(this has recently slowed down to a couple nights a week). It bothers me, but I think this will also stop around 5 as well.

Ya; I think 4 is way toooooooo old!! Maybe with a bathing suit on.

The girls don't sleep with dad; but there are nights that the boys 4 and 9 get to sleep with dad! They love it; I don't see anything wrong with this. My 4 year old loves to cuddle and snuggle. As long as they know it's not a regular thing.
Both boys have severe problems with bed wetting and have/are seeing a specialist. They both wear pullups; most of the time the 9 year old doesn't wet the bed; just in case. We have tried spray; pills; setting the alarm clock! Doc says it will just go away and not to STRESS about it??

As far as the bathing; all the children wash themselves; I will watch the 4 year old on occassion; but nope they can do it.

4 year old girl is way too old to be taking baths with her father...she might need supervision depending on how mature she is.... she absolutely should be looking at her father naked at 4....she should be sleeping in her own bed unless unless she is sick but not on a regular basis. I don't have any experience with bed wetting...but I do know that sometimes it is a medical problem and can be treated. JMO