Shes more than just a little girl!!!

So this is my first blog so pardon me if its scattered.
I am 21 years old I have always been very mature for my age, always try to make the best decisions always think things through and put others before myself. I got married in Sept. to a man that I couldn't have dreamed up if I tried. However, with this marriage came a step daughter. I love her as if she is my own and try my best to make her father and I's relationship/marriage an easy transition for her.

My husband Jake was never married to his ex and they were only together for 18 months of Avery's life. She has also never been around any of his past gf's. Averys mother is married and Grace is respectful of her step-father. At our house she runs wild, has no bed time, goes unpunished for alomst ALL things, backtalks both of us, and this was only the begining.

it is now to a point were all little Avery does is keep Jake and I seperated. If i hold his hand she slaps us apart, she doesnt even like me on the same couch as him, she freaks put if we show any affection(which isnt much when shes around) she has to sleep between us and wont let jake out of her sight bc she says she dosent want us kissing. Jake laughs and acts as if its cute but at this point its beyound hurtful. there is no respect or boundaries what so ever.
Im sooo lost PLEASE HELP!!!

Preshusmalott's blog
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THANK YOU so much!!! Its nice

THANK YOU so much!!! Its nice to know im not the only one. I too have always stepped aside. At first we only got to have her visit on weekends, last month she moved out of state so now we see her even less. I have slept many nights on the couch or even in the bed by myself when they take to the couch or spare bedroom. After our holiday visit i told him that I felt very pushed around a bullied with all the hitting at hurtful thing she said that also went unpunished, so tonight we have set aside time to discuss a parenting plan. I hope that good comes from ths

First, I would suggest that

First, I would suggest that you NOT post your guys real names. If your BM (birth mom) were to find that you were posting here, it could cause A LOT of long term problems for you guys.

You didn't say how old your SD is, but it sounds like she's young. Perhaps you need to sit down with your DH and discuss child-rearing and come to how you both plan to raise children together, what the house rules are, etc.

Sometimes the NCP (non-custodial parent) feels like they need to be "Disneyland" mom or dad and that they have to bend over backwards because they feel guilty. They don't.

Hopefullly, you will be able to talk to your DH and come up with a plan of how you can work together to create house rules and modify your SD's behavior. If that's what she does now, without you guys putting your feet down, it's only bound to get worse.

Lol, those arent there real

Lol, those arent there real names It was my first post and after righting it I saw all the letter codes. Thank you very much for comenting. We actually plan to make a parenting plan this evening so its nice to see im on a good track.

Wow.. you are my age! I also

Wow.. you are my age! I also am a young step mother (with twins!).

I don't know how your husband is, by my DH is a tough love kind of guy. If the kids were to act that way and try to separate us, he would push them away and laugh. They would cry, but he would let them whine. We are the adults and they are the children. They do not do what they want to do. They obey and respect Dad and SMom.

My advice: PUNISHMENT.

If she slaps your hands away, put her on the wall for 5 minutes.

(I don't know if you use that punishment, but we do! Nose touching the wall and hands touching out to the side and you stand there quiet. If you cry, you stay longer. The longer you throw a fit, the longer you are going to stand there.)

Or, take her hand and slap it. Mine hate that.

If mine hit the dog on the head, I pop them on the head and ask them if they liked that. The always pout and say no, and then apologize to the dog and give him a hug.

You need to sit down and talk to your DH about rules and punishment. And tell him that it's hurtful for you when your SD does these things.

If you do start using small forms of punishment to correct the behavior, you HAVE HAVE HAVE to stick with it. Every single time. It WILL take a while, but if you do not falter, improvement will come about.

Hope this helped a little?

thankyou so much for your

thankyou so much for your help!! Time out and taking things away are the only way I can punish, to avoid drama from the BM.( The sd has lied b4 saying that i have hit her it went over badly) I am making a parenting plan with my dh tonight bc when I have tried punishment b4 there was no back up so it just flopped. She is 4 and verry spoiled, the mom married for money and gives the sd what every she wants. She the majority of the time she doesnt obey my dh so i know thats some of it but ive explained to him b4 that being the fun weekend dad needs more structure otherwise things will just get worse

Your husband needs to nip

Your husband needs to nip this in the bud, pronto! Believe me it just gets worse. My SD11 was four when I met her and she did the same things. She is still jealous, but now its jealousy of my husband and our daughter (BD3). She will throw a fit if DH shows any affection to BD3. So trust me - get your husband on board now and stop this. She needs assurance that daddy loves her AND preshusmalott. But until your DH takes this seriously and does something it will not go away.

I am def agreeing with you.

I am def agreeing with you. She is four but in my personal opinion she is treated more like a 2 year old. I agree that week parents should not have children. The mother has custody she herself is very selfish and spoiled. She has lead SD to think these actions are cute bc princess are ment to be spoiled. My husband only got SD every other weekend and now SD has moved outta state so our time with her now amounts to 2months a year. He disciplines but at the same time the same things he punishes for sometimes, othertimes he laughs with her about it so its like its not there. We had a talk last night about alot of the things you wrote about and we came up with house rules and punishments. But his ending statement was I dont get to see her as much as id like and when I do see her I want her to have a good time instead of her crying and being mad the whole time shes here.

OH and the bed thing, I explained that she has her own room and must sleep there so his reply was i like sleeping with my little girl bc I missed out on all of those things. In return I was sooooo upset so all i could blurt out was fine sleep with her in HER ROOM!!!

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