12 years ago, my husbands ex-wife decided that she was more interested in a relationship with the neighbor than her husband, so she announced she wanted out of the marriage. 6 months later she moved out and my husband began the challenge of part-time parenting. Their children were ages 4 (daughter) and 2 (son) when she left. After a lengthy divorce process my husband was granted joint physical and legal custody, and was ordered to pay her $1400 in alimony and $1400 in childsupport. Fast forward - we have now been married for 8 years and have a 7 year old daughter together. Our children's ages are now 16 (SD), 14 (SS), and 7 (BD). The past eight years have been very challenging with the BM. I keep hoping that in time things will improve, and they only seem to be getting worse. She is currently engaged, and we were hoping that if she was happy personally maybe she would improve, but it's actually only gotten worse. She refuses to answer emails, so no matter the question you send to her, no answer.

BM receives $33,000 from us EVERY YEAR - it the past 10 years we have sent her $333,000! She also has a full time sales job. So she has proven her ability to earn money.

She refuses to participate in saving any money for HER children's education - her response when we asked her if she wanted to be involved was "I am sure their father wants them to go to college, he'll figure out a way to pay for it". Of course we have and put every penny we can every month in trying to save for all three children's eduations.

Every time you see her she is in a brand new outfit, she is constantly at the nail shop, having her hair done, or having some sort of plastic surgery or procedure being done.

My 16 year old SD lives with my husband and I full-time and has for almost 2 years. When she annouced she wanted to make the change from switching households every other week to living with us, we sat down with both her and her mom and suggested some counseling. At the end of a lengthy counseling period, even the counselor agreed that the best thing was for BD to live with us full time. BM was upset (as any of us would be), but of course the only thing she said to us was "this is all about the money to you" to us. Of course that wasn't true at all, so we haven't even gone back to court to make an adjustment to CS, just to prove to both SD and BM that this wasn't the case. The reality that has unfolded is that the money is the ONLY thing that matters to the BM. SD spends one night a week having dinner with her BM (does not spend the night). This arrangement seems to work best for both of them. BM has paid for very few things since SD has been living with us. Periodically will purchase an item of makeup or a shirt when they are out, but nothing more. She has paid half of a swim season ($200) and half of a school NYC trip ($300). Our 16 year old is ready for a car - BM wants no part of any expense.

This year my SS decided he wanted to attend private school. We set all appointments and invited BM to join us for all of the school tours, etc. Every time we were at the school, she was too. When it came time to sign the school contracts she happily signed her name and now she is tell us that she isn't going to pay one penny. Our sons education is $21,000/yr. So of course we are killing ourselves trying to figure out how to pay for this. She won't even pay the amount to cover his school lunches or books ($1310 per year). She didn't pay for one back to school supply, doesn't pay for any school lunch, we pay for insurance, and half of all extra sport expenses (SS plays travel hockey), doesn't pay for any clothing for SD and we buy all clothes for SS that he wears when he is at our house. We've purchased most of the equipment for the sports he plays. She knows that we wont let the kids go without, and she always tell them she has no money.

I am pretty frustrated with us going killing ourselves while she floats through life. Can someone tell me what the child support dollars we send to her are supposed to cover???

I am at wits end. We have always tried to do the right thing - and she just keeps getting nastier.