DH Wants More Insite On Kid's Lives
Since BM is the custodial parent to DH's 3 daughters; he never gets any updates on them through the school. No letters to purchase school pictures, no updates on their progress, no information on plays they will be in to come watch; NOTHING! When he does call their school, they act like he is a complete stranger and wont give him any information. They claim custodial parent must give them permission to provide DH information on HIS kids! While this might be so, BM refuses to give the school permission, because she is just being a B***H and loves all the power! He wants to take her back to court to fight this. While she may be the custodial parent, he is the main financial supporter; because she does NOT work. He is forking out $1400 every month for them kids, and that is NOT including keeping full health, life and dental on them. PLUS clothing, all school expenses, groceries ect, that he isn't even required to do, but does because he cares about his children and wants to provide the best he can for them!
On top of that, he also wants to see what the court can do about CS. Since we have them full time during the summer months yet child support is still getting pulled from his check year round and sent to her. He wants to see if they can require her to give HIM back the $1400 to him, to help get through the summer, financially. Because the way CSE works, they cant turn off and on CS, its pulled from DH's check year round. When we have them full time, she parties, shops for herself and blows all of it. I think she should be required to give him the money so it can be used for the children; isn't that the point of CS? Not for her own pleasure and wants. It is very hard to pay $1400+ each month plus have to come up with that amount to support his kids full time in the summer. We have had to go to the food bank it gotten so bad, and BM wont give us a dime, claims she is always broke and that is bull if you ask me!
That is reprehensible! Our
That is reprehensible! Our BM has all the permission in the world to talk with teachers, counselors, psychologists, doctors...but doesn't - I didn't think you COULD deny that! Sounds like your DH had the same lawyer as mine in the divorce! He needs to find a bulldog attorney and get that s**t fixed if he can at ALL afford it. We're trying to do it but on our own because we can't afford an attorney. It's confusing and exhausting but for $1400.00 a month and the access to his 3 girls, I think it's worth it for your family! Good luck. He got as screwed as my DH and it's a really difficult place to get out of.
This really irritates me! In
This really irritates me! In the middle of an argument last month with BM, I told her if she cant help out during the summer and give him his rightful access to knowing what goes on with his children. We will take her back to court and she can just have them full time year round, and us just every other weekend. Might as well... She gets support through the summer anyways and wants us to be in the dark about his children, so why try? I also told her the help with groceries, clothing and school expenses would stop also, since she don’t help AT ALL during our full time with them, why should we; that’s what the CS is supposed to be used for, he is doing it out of the goodness of his heart. Her, nothing, unless it benefits her in some way!
We saved up money for a bankruptcy, because she got him so much in debt while they was married, he is barley holding his head above water with CS and creditors. I just cant wait till the bankruptcy is complete and they go after her a** for everything, it will be a great day! Because even though they split the debts down the middle in the divorce; since she is not working, they are 100% going after him.
If they have joint custody,
If they have joint custody, the school cannot refuse to give him anything pertaining to the kids. My bf dealt with this same thing. Signed in to the kids' accounts online to check grades and saw that there was an "emergency alert" that father was not to pick kids up, and he was not listed as emergency contact. He went to the middle school and they quickly changed it. He went to the elem. school (where bm works) and they gave him a hard time, but then changed it also. When my kids were in public school, they were really good about sending stuff to a second parent. You might need to go up the chain to get something done.
Be very careful about going back to court. Usually there, nobody wins. In our state you can file for modification of cs every 3 yrs or if a substantial change takes place (10% increase or decrease in salary).
Agree with this, go up the
Agree with this, go up the chain. I don't think legally she can deny him access and the schools/docs/etc. should know this. If the front line staff don't, their supervisors should. A bankruptcy seems like a definite reason to file modification and bring up these other issues. I'd roll the dice with the court and go. Just my two cents though, take it for what it's worth.
each state has laws in
each state has laws in regards to access to school records and if the parents have joint custody he should be writing a letter to the school certified with a copy of his paperwork stating he has joint custody. Have him quote the following in the letter:
As the parent of XYZ, with joint custody as outlined in the documentation enclosed it is my right through the Federal Family Education Rights and Privacy Act (you can goole the act# for your state and add it here), I am entitled to all school records for my child. If you do not release copies of such records with in 10 days of receipt of this certified mailing, I will contact the school board as well as my attorney and I will not hesitate to bring legal action against this school district for violating my rights as a parent.
This will save you a ton of lawyer fees and works I have used this approach myself with SD's schools.
As for child support, BM can buy $1400 worth of toilet paper to wipe her butt with and you cant do anything about it. It is not your business. As long as she keeps the kids fed and a roof over their head and their needs are met with in reason, you cant do anything with CS. The CS calculator they use in your state takes into consideration your summer that you have them already, child support is paid over a 52 week period. If you decide not to take them for the summer it lowers the amount of "nights" you have with them which if she files wit court will only increase her child support not lower it. So dont be hasty with giving up that summer. (we had the same issue and it sucks but what can you do?)
The letter is a wonderful
The letter is a wonderful idea, we will defiantly check into that! As for the child support, If they will not help us in court as you said then we will just leave it up to her to decide. I will let her know, if she does not agree to help out in the Summer; the extra money forked out for school supplies, groceries and clothing will STOP! Because as I said, he was never required to provide her with all that. He is doing it out of the goodness of his heart. We will just save all that money to help US get by in the Summer instead. Then she can use the CS for what it is meant to be used for, period!
WHY would he give her extra
WHY would he give her extra money at all??? CS is for school supplies, groceries and clothing, etc. If they need supplies and clothes and he feels they're not getting it, go shopping during his time with them and get those items because like previous writer said, she can use the money to buy toilet paper to wipe her own butt... He has no control over the use of the funds and $1400 is a HUGE amount to pay in CS. I'd walk out on my husband if he gave BM a penny more than CS was ordered (except we're the custodial parents, so he's off the hook for now).
He has Joint Custody. He's
He has Joint Custody. He's entitled to everything from everyone - school, doctor, candle stick maker. Send a copy of the final order to everyone.