BM and SS3's boots...the winter clothing battle begins.
Saturday: BM texted DF to see if he had SS3's winter boots because she couldn't find them. DF told her that yes, we do.
Sunday afternoon: BM dropped off SD5 for trick or treating at our house (we already had SS3) and asked where SS3's boots were. It was 55 degrees out -- not cold enough for boots that day. DF said, "We have them in his closet." She says, "Well, do you know FOR SURE that you have them? Could you CHECK?" So DF goes down to SS3's bedroom, gets them out of the closet, and brings them upstairs to show BM that we have them. All she says is, "Okay."
Sunday evening: DF dropping both skids off at BM's mom's house for the night. BM says, "Where are the boots! You didn't bring them!" DF says, "If you wanted them so bad why didn't you just take them earlier?" BM says, "Because I thought you were going to bring them tonight!" She was getting all frantic about it. Then BM's MOM says, "BM, what's the big deal? It's not supposed to snow this week -- it's supposed to be in teh 50s still. He doesn't need his boots!" BM just says, "Oh." and drops it.
This morning: I'm getting my things together to leave the house while SS3 is putting his coat on. He already had his shoes on. SD5 starts YELLLING at SS3, so I ask what's going on. SD5 says, "Brother isn't wearing his boots, and Mommy told him he's supposed to wear them today!" I had already checked the forecast and it's in the 60s today! Why the frick would he need to wear boots? Plus, we have him tonight, too, so it's not like he was going to BM's after today.
The funny (funny as in it's ridiculous) part about this is that there have been UMPTEEN times when BM won't put the kids in weather-appropriate clothing (flip flops and shorts in early spring when it's still 30 degrees out...I've blogged about this before), and she's suddenly FRANTICALLY CONCERNED about whether SS3 is wearing his winter snow boots yet, when it hasn't even snowed here yet? And isn't even threatening to snow during the week? Or even be below 50 degrees? It makes no sense!
Here's the clincher: I picked up the boots and looked at the size. They're a whole THREE sizes smaller than what SS3 is currently wearing on his feet...meaning that there's no way they'd fit him this winter. BM bought him these boots towards the end of last winter (she lost his other ones) and both me and DF commented to each other that she always buys things that barely fit at the moment, rather than just a bit bigger so there's room to grow. So these boots don't even fit him ANYWAY!
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We typically try that because
We typically try that because we can't rely on BM to send them to our house with appropriate clothing. However, when the switch occurs at day care, it makes it much more complicated. We'd have to rely on daycare to keep OUR boots/hats/mittens and what happens if BM doesn't bring a pair for him to wear home?
SD has two of everything. One
SD has two of everything. One for our house,one for biomonsters house.The stuff I bought her is always way nicer therefore it STAYS at my house. It cuts down on arguments and SD is always prepared no matter where she is.Plus I like to do it that way because I always felt it gave her a sense of 'home' at our house rather than feeling like a nomad with no real place to settle.
Of course,i won't make such an effort anymore after her little email crap.
Definitely agree with Rasberry(again!lol) eliminate the stressors.
I did that same thing with
I did that same thing with skids. Problem was that since our stuff was nicer, they would smuggle it to BM's so they wouldn't look like ragamuffins on her week. Then it would somehow get swallowed into the abyss and we'd never see it again.
Yep, put them in a bag and
Yep, put them in a bag and give them to her and tell her you have bought your own boots for SS that will remain at your house. It's a control thing for BM if it's not about the boots it's about something else.
We have two of everything.
We have two of everything. Although some things get left behind. But, each parent buys what they need for their house. DH gets mad that he buys jeans and BM doesn't so that we are always buying some stuff. Right now, it is Numchux for Karate. We bought for our house and she hasn't so when he is with her, he has none for class.
We had to get ss duplicate
We had to get ss duplicate things that stayed at our house too. Mainly the for the same reasons. Bm always had things either way too small or way too big or with holes or not appropriate for the weather. Then we would have a big fight with her when our things would end up at her house and she wouldn't give them back for months!
Just before ss started 2nd grade, he came to live with us. His time with Bm has steadily decreased over the ensuing years because she just couldn't do what he needed. Yet, she would always still try and have duplicate stuff at her house.
As ss got older, he didn't want duplicate things. He had things that were his favorites and he didn't like being forced to wear or use things he didn't want to just because he was at one house or the other. Not to mention, it didn't make sense for him to have two wallets, etc. Also, he would get into fights with Bm because she wanted to buy him certain types and sizes of clothes that he didn't want. Same with things like deodorant and hair products. He wanted something different than what she wanted to buy.
So, finally when ss was 14, we told Bm that ss would prefer to just bring a bag back and forth when he went to her house. Ss is old enough now to keep track of his own stuff. If he doesn't bring something back, I tell him that he just has to do without that item. It's his job now, not mine.
Ss is now 15 and our only problem is that he can't take the bag with all of his stuff with him to school because of some medications that are in it, so it has to either be picked up or dropped off. Bm is complaining about this. I see that the only solution is to have her pick ss up from our house instead of school on Fri. but that hasn't been addressed yet.
Dawn