At least I tried
So today was a nice fall day. DH and SS13 and I decorated the house with Halloween stuff, we went out and bought some pumkins and bails of hay to put outside to make it look good too. I figured it might be a good idea if I made them a nice roasted chicken dinner with all the fixings to put a nice end to our weekend. Keep in mind that SS13 useally eats different food then us at dinnertime bc he is such a fussy eater also he is impatient so he useally eats dinner before we eat our meal. So if I can find something that we all like to eat ( which is just about nothing) and we can all sit down and eat togethor it is a real treat. He likes roasted / baked chicken so I thought this was a great idea DH agreed. I asked DH to see if my SS17 wanted to stop over for dinner too. He was out with friends as he useally is on the weekends. So I dragged my ass to the store, got all the food , drive home, spent a decent amount if time preparing it. Then we go to eat and my DH informs me that SS17 won't be coming over, bc he's having pizza at his friends house instead. I go to plate the food and SS13 makes a face at the gravy and says can I taste it first? So he does, makes another face and says he dosent want any.. Fine. I understand that. Then he tries the mashed potatos and makes an awful face and asks his dad if he can give it to the dog, and also makes a coment that they are not like his moms mashed potatos. Says he dosent like stuffing ( news to me bc he's had it before) he dosent eat veggies ( that I think is pretty normal ) then he picks at the chicken and takes off anything that has flavoring on it. Then he puts his dish in the sink and asks for ice cream. My DH dosent really say much about any if this. My cooking is good, I know he is just a kid and he is a super finicky eater on top of that. But it just kinda hurts that I try to have a nice family dinner. I remember when I was younger sitting around the table eating dinners like this and it's a memory that stays with you. I would just like to crest some fond memories for my family but it seams like I'm up against a brick wall. Pretty much all dinner did was waist my money, time, and make me feel like crap. Next time I'm ordering pizza,
screw it.
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Comments
Naturalmom thank you so much
Naturalmom thank you so much for your kind words and support, anytime you want to come over for a chicken dinner I'll have it ready.
Bad memories flashback. SD
Bad memories flashback. SD was an EXTREMELY picky eater. If DH made her eat something she hadn't tried before, she could make herself vomit.
I was of the mind that if she didn't want to eat what I made, fine. I wasn't going to force her.
So what did SD do? She refused to eat what I made and then went back to tell BM that we didn't feed them while they were at our place.
How was I to know that BM took the skids out to eat all the time so SD could ALWAYS get chicken nuggets and fries!!!!!!!!!
June - this breaks my heart!
June - this breaks my heart! I can so relate! SD here is such a picky eater, and I see that common thread on a lot of posts on here. To me, that's just plain being spoiled. Or, a new mental illness that is creeping up on all these kids nowadays. Seriously... that's how much I feel it's weird.
SD only likes pasta and potatos and rice. It's a horrible diet. I try to get her to eat veggies, but mostly can only get her to eat salad. I have a little more luck with fruit. After a while, I give up trying and hate myself! I have tried every vegetable - corn, cream corn, corn on the cob, peas, cabbage, eggplant, and on and on. SHe only eats the veges that will go with dip and salads. AT least we have salads!
Your dinner sounds yummy! Anytime you want to come over - let's EAT!
Naturalmom! You are so
Naturalmom! You are so funny! And you know what? It's true! SD has over the past year gained a bit. She's very tiny on top, but has inherited her mom's hips and thighs. (sigh) So she has been stressing about that. And she is now starting to cut down again on all that bad food!
Unfortunately, I have gained a bit too. I used to very very rarely eat pasta or bread. Starches were my vice, and I was able to give them up. I've got to lose it too now! Damnit!!!
June - save those nice
June - save those nice dinners for just hubby and you - you know SS13 will only make you feel like shit and you waste your money and all the time to prepare it - order pizza when he is around - YOU have great memories of dinner around the table - kids today do not appreciate all that goes into preparing a meal like this - so a great memory for them is if you buy them a video game or I hate to say this but you are out of the picture and they have DH to themselves - you cannot recreate great family memories because of 2 reason - 1) teens are not like how we were when we were teens and 2) you do not have an intact family and there will always be friction - it is just the way it is - so try not to feel bad and save the great and yummy dinners for just you and DH.
My 5 year old tries to be finicky but I tell her eat what we eat or don't eat - your choice - she eats what I fix and now her palate is quite varied - my SS lucky eats just about anything - he really likes all kinds of food - unfortunately now that he is 16 when we go out to eat with him it gets quite expensive!!
thanks - yeah I would never
thanks - yeah I would never cook for your stepchildren if they don't appreciate it - it sounded yummy and now you know not to go to all that trouble anymore. So order pizza and stay in your room and get on Steptalk instead of spending all that time on dinner in the kitchen }:) }:)
Caregiver thank you for your
Caregiver thank you for your response. I agree that kids now do not get the whole dinner and eating togethor thing but for your number 2 I disagree. I do feel that I have an intact family. It's not perfect but what family is? I was just venting about a dinner my SS didn't like, that dosent mean my family isn't intact. For the most part it is better then most step families. He tells me he loves me and gives me hugs, we spend time togethor doing fun things. As a family we are all pretty close. I do appreciate your support and ideas on this thou, just wanted to clairify your #2.
I did not mean intact as
I did not mean intact as referring to a bio family I meant it as there are two households and two different methods of parenting and expectations from the parents - there are two roles that these children learn to play in each household especially if there is trouble between the BF and BM - when my SS visits we are an intact family but when he is with his mother 48 weeks of the year then my intact family is DH, DD, FIL and I. So I did not mean that they were not intact but that there is another parental figure in the children's life -
I'm with caregiver on this
I'm with caregiver on this one and I have done this to my kids and skids as well. They WILL eat when they are hungry. Kids will not starve if they don't eat a meal! In fact it will do them good to realize that the world doesn't revolve around what they like or don;t like geez!
You did try and that makes
You did try and that makes you special. Don't think of it as a waste of time at all because it made YOU feel good. If your ss does not appreciate it, his loss. One day when he grows up, he will realize it. But, I do have to say that this scenario is normal (except for the veggies part for my family - my bio children actually fight over them!) For instance, tonight I made a corned beef and cabbage dinner. I know my daughter loves it and my son does not. So, I made dinner for myself, my daughter and DH, but for my son, I took out a frozen pizza (which to him may as well have been a 4-star dinner), nuked it and put it on the table and we all sat down and still had dinner together. When my step-children were younger and at home, I did the same thing. If they didn't want my food, I would say "Do you want frozen pizza, oodles of noodles or mac & cheese?" What I would not do is go out of my way to make a huge second dinner for that one person. Don't let your ss (x2) dictate what you make for dinner. My only other advice is to stop trying to re-create memories that you had as a child because it will drive you crazy. I've tried to do that with so many things and it is just not the same. They are not as appreciative and they don't get it. You need to create new memories that they will have. And then when they try to do those with their children, their children will think they are just as crazy! But, again, thanks for trying and being a great person! It's who you know you are that counts - not who they think you are.
We've had a few instances of
We've had a few instances of BF's son saying he didn't like something because it wasn't like his mom's. One was when I made homemade mac and cheese. His dad explained to him that Kraft radio-active orange powder mac & "cheese" does not compare.
We've had a few discussions about things that are rude to say and to think before speaking. The kid is getting much better. He helps me pick out things to cook and helps make them now. I know it hurt my feelings when he said stuff and wasn't trying to. To ask to feed anything to the dogs warrants a trip to the corner by my thoughts. I'm sorry he was a little punk.
Ok.... I am going to go a
Ok.... I am going to go a different direction. ( I do agree with all of you though).
How about asking SS13 HOW he likes chicken? And how does Mama make his mashed potatoes? Honestly.... I would want to know.
My DD always hated the spices I put on the grilled chicken. She never complained, but she always scraped off the spice. (She said it burned her tongue.... maybe it did? ) So I started making her piece with no spice. She gobbled it right up!
I love Mashed potatoes with sour cream in them.... but again DD likes them with just butter. So... before I put in the sour cream, I would take out some for her.
Now... understand... I do NOT do this with every single meal. Just when I make those things.
My other daughter always hated speghetti sauce. So... when we had speg I would make hers with garlic and butter. She gobbled it up.
We all sat together at the table... and we ate - happily.
Just an idea.....
Ps... But... they ALL hated stew. I LOVE stew... there was no way I was going my whole life without stew... so of course... if I made stew...they all feind pretended they were sick... and made ugly faces.... but I made them eat it anyway!!! hahahahahaha my revenge! It was comical watching them gag on it....tee hee....
VAstepmom I actually did ask
VAstepmom I actually did ask him how his mom makes the mashed potatos he said plain and chunky. Which is gross to me, but I made his that way then made ous a different way.. He still didn't like them. As for the rest if the items they were made they same way they always are, and he has had them before and told me he liked it. I think hecwas just in a mood or something.
We have the same issue with
We have the same issue with SS13. My solution was to quit cooking on our week with him, SO does it all. He does the same thing with his SO's cooking, but apparently SO's so used to it that it doesn't bother him as much as it does me. Initially, SO would even go so far as to cook something else for the brat, until I started pushing the "this isn't a fast food restaurant" idea. We also don't let him watch dinner being prepared, now he can't complain about what's going into the pot. It's actually finally starting to improve