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OT- new puppy

June's picture

I know this is off topic but I am looking for some support & encouraging words. My DH & I had a dog when we were first together. He died over a year ago. In that time since he's been gone we've really missed him but also really enjoyed our freedom of being able to come & go as we please. My SS are getting older and we occasionally have a free weekend to go away. Despite all this DH and I said that we wanted to get another dog when the time was right. A few weeks ago we found this adorable puppy for adoption. He said yes, to fill out the adoption paperwork & see if we get approved. Well, we did. We have her now & I can't even explain the amount of regret I have for getting her. I feel awful even saying that & I've always had animals & love them dearly. I've never gotten rid of an animal & I hate people who do that. But in all honestly our lives have changed 360 already. No sleep , up all night. Sometimes we can't even sleep in the same bed bc one if us. Has to tend to the puppy and sleeps on the couch. We cant meet up for drinks after work bc we have to let puppy out. We had plans to go away for a weekend & had to cancel them. Yes I realized it would be work it's not my first dog but I think we got so wrapped up in missing all the good things about our last dog that we forgot about all the PIA things. I feel like we just reached a point in our life that we had freedom from the kids to go out & do things & now we can't bc we have a dog. What was I thinking!!! I have such a huge amount of regret about this I can't even tell you. I cry all the time about it. DH says we just have to make it work & I agree but it's so hard. I've never wanted to go back in time more then I do now to change my decision on getting her. I kinda feel like I've ruined our relationship over a dog. Is that crazy? I need some different perspective. I have cabin fever from spending so much time with this dog , I haven't had a good nights sleep in weeks & I'm Pmsing on top of it- so please go easy!

Comments

Gabriels Mom's picture

LOL puppies are a lot of work but it does calm down. Just give it some time. once you get her trained things will be better. how old is this dog. Also, you can get a pet sitter and still go out of town. That's what I do.

oldone's picture

Train, train, train. And just like with a baby they can get easier to handle with age. (except for some skids.}:) )

Pee pads can be your life long friends especially if the dog is not too big (or a dog door). I've almost always had a dog door so I never had to worry about being home and even could be gone for a night.

Pee pads can be expensive. There's a product called under pads ( 24" x 36") that are made to place under incontinent adults that are much cheaper and larger. They are just not treated with scent.

My 35 pound dog will use one if he needs to go but prefers not to. They come in handy during downpours when neither of us wants to go out.

Find a good boarding facility for weekend trips. It costs money but you knew a dog was going to incur some expenses.

The puppy issues are why I prefer to rescue a 1 or 2 year old dog. Good luck.

stepmonster_2011's picture

The puppy stage won't last long. Get thru it. You'll be fine.

also - adopting an adult dog (already trained) would have been a much better idea. Smile Hang in there!

Onefootout's picture

Same as what everyone says.

1) Invest some money in a pet sitter. When it gets older you can board it. Get away you need a break.

2) Get a doggy door, it will change your life, I swear.

3) Pee pads

They are a lot of work, especially puppies, but they will also provide a lot of comfort as it gets older.

My dogs are a lot of work too, and they are grown. I don't have a doggy door in my current home, and wish I did. I have a small hyper dog that doesn't think she needs to hold it through the night and likes to wake me up. every night, 2 am, I'm letting her out, waiting a bit, and let her back in. She really is a PITA, but I love her, so I'll keep doing this. It's crazy, I know.

June's picture

Thanks for all the input. I do appreciate it. We do plan on having a house sitter for when we go away ( my 16 yo SS) or at a doggy daycare place but we can't do either of those for a few months as she is only 10 weeks old. Yes, I know in retrospect that an older dog would have been better. For so long now we have talked about raising our own pup so that she will be trained the way we want her to be. In all honesty for a pup she is VERY smart. I guess I'm just having narrow vision about how she is now thinking it will always be this time consuming but I know it won't be. Just having a puppy melt down. Thanks guys!

PetStr's picture

I'm a professional pet sitter. We are usually cheaper than a boarding facility and we also trained in pet cpr and first aid. Our services usually include house sitting and trust me, unlike Skids or the kid next door, we won't trash your house or throw wild parties while you are gone! LOL

Justme54's picture

Baby gate and pee pee pads. The pads are money but you can get them at Wal-Mart. I buy the 50 or 100 ct and save some money. I have a cat that was jealous and used my old dog's pad to mark her place. After my dog passed, I still buy the pads for the cat. Do you have a large laundry room, spare bedroom or any other room with vinyl or tile floor which would work good for a space for the puppy with a baby gate. My dog was old and poor vision. When she got older, I put her in the kitchen with the baby gate and 2 pee pee pads.

AlreadyGone's picture

I adopted my puppy late last year. He was 3 months old. It took me a month to housebreak him. For the first week or so, he howled and barked off and on during the night and that did wear on my nerves. (Thankfully my neighbors were understanding, lol.) Only when I joined an obedience class, did I learn some amazing tricks that saved my sanity. Wink

The most important things you can do are #1 Buy a crate, #2 buy good food, and #3 set up a meticulous feeding/watering schedule. Obviously you'll need a lot of patience, but then you already know that, lol. I didn't get up in the middle of the night for potty breaks, and I didn't use pee pee-pads either. (No offense to all of you pee-pee pad users, lol.)
With the proper feeding/watering and exercise schedule, you won't have to do either. As I have learned, (and I always had dogs growing up but, it had been several years in between)when you control what time the food/water goes in, you can control what time the food/water comes out. NEVER free feed. Unless, your pup was brought up in an unclean environment, they usually will not go where they sleep, so the crate should only be large enough for the pup to stand up, turn around, and lie down comfortably. If you give them enough room for a half-bath, they will use it as such, lol. I didn't use pee-pads b/c quite frankly I didn't want to live through hosuebreaking twice, Wink . For those that do.... more power to ya! lol. I don't want to do that again for a long, long time. For the record my brother has a shorkie who uses a litter box. Go figure. :O

The next few weeks are going to be hard but, instead of focusing on what your giving up, you need to tell yourself that it's only for a little while. Think of all the years of unconditional love AND with none of the SK disrespect, lmao. So you have to stop home to take care of your furkid before heading off for that after work drink. It won't be forever. As for vacay's. I'm on vacay right now and my furkid is asleep at my feet. I wouldn't have it any other way. Now, I just book 'dog friendly accommodations.' No biggie. They are everywhere! Sure, it costs me slightly more but, he's worth it. Plus, as a newly single lady, he acts as my protector. It's a win-win. Find activities that you, DH, and pup can do together. Nice strolls while holding hands, play dates with other new puppy owners (might find a few new human friends too) obedience classes, agility, flyball, dock diving, etc. Hmmm.... well, I guess that would depend on what kind of pup you have? LOL. Biggrin

My point is this, you could feel regretful of your decision and end up hating that cute lil pup or you could take a deep breath and know that you saved a life AND got a good and loyal friend out of the deal. If after all of this, you are still unhappy. Re-home the pup as soon as possible and try again later when you're truly ready for the work. And yes, it is work, lol.

Best of luck to you.

brutallyhonest's picture

We adopted a puppy in June after losing our dog last year too. He is now 4.5 months old and we can leave him for longer stretches now and he is old enough to go to doggie day care. We still have to make it home for a lunch time potty break and feeding (unless he is a daycare). The first several weeks were tough with multiple potty breaks per night and not being able to be too far from the house. Also the sharp puppy teeth and chewing everything were worse than I remembered. Hang in there, the 16 week mark when you get done with all the shots and they can go to doggie day care is huge.

Right now he is snoozing by my feet while I surf ST and watch football. We played fetching this morning and he has been content to hang out in his kennel while I ran errands this morning.

Your pup will be much less work and provide all the love and low maintenance companionship you miss from your old dog in a few short months. In the mean time, puppy kongs and a puppy play class (most local petco's have them for puppies only) really help wear them out so you can have a break.

Pinki3663's picture

Puppies are only good to have if you have the time. I have a Mastiff who is 2 now and a joy to be around. We recently got our Great Dane pup about 1 1/2 months ago..? She is 4 months and is housebroken and can be left out of her crate for up to 5 hours..maybe more, haven't tested it yet.

I do not recommend puppy pads unless you really want to train the puppy to go to the bathroom inside. At the very least they will prolong the training. Niko learned to go outside within a week and had one accident his entire puppyhood.

Get the puppy into puppy classes, even if you have had dogs before and can train them it is good for socialization with people and other dogs. Train the pup to walk off leash. If you have a well trained dog you can take it almost anywhere.

June's picture

Thank you again to everyone for all the advice & support. I need it more then you know. Question for brutallyhonest- do you crate your dog at night? How about during the day when your at work? Does he cry at night?

brutallyhonest's picture

He sleeps in our bedroom in a crate and he doesn't whine. We started out giving him treat everytime everytime he went in the crate and now he has no problems going in and sleeping there. Eventually when we can trust him not to gnaw on everything, I'll upgrade him to a dog bed in our room like our old dog had. He goes to doggie day care 2 days a weeks (the days my DH had lunchroom monitor duty at his school and can't come home for lunch, I work too far away to make a lunch trip feasible while DH is about 1 mile away). On the days when the dog is home alone, he spends the day in his 10 x 10 kennel in our unfinished basement. We tried the backyard, but he chews a lot and the sprinklers and hose, and patio stuff were in danger of being destroyed.

The doggie day care really helps, they have a webcam so I can check on him and it is close to my office. He plays hard and he comes home worn out and it kind of carries over into him being mellower the next day. I' ve always found a well exercised dog to be a well behaved dog. So I walk him or play fetch every morning for an hour rain or shine. Once he is old enough he will be my running buddy. Our is a German shepherd so he has lots of energy, but I think he has figured out it is his job to play or walk with me each morning. Puppy class is also a good idea, we go once a week to work on obedience and it includes some play time with the other pups so that also helps wear him out.

Are there any other puppies in your neighborhood or other dogs in the family you can trust to play with the puppy? That might help you guys wear her out in advance of going out for an evening so she will nap in her crate.

It will get better and she will find her rhythm and place in your household.

AlreadyGone's picture

Right now, my dog doesn't get crated per se. He goes in to his crate on his own when he wants to be there. Initially I crated whenever I couldn't watch him 100% of the time. Sometimes I used the tether method (like when I was cleaning the house or something.) I also crated him while working but, he goes to work with me a couple of times a week. Other times he may go to doggy daycare. Depends on how I feel. I also hired a HS student to come in during the day to let him out and play with him when he was young.
He did cry the first week or so but, I had the crate in my room and used a squirt water bottle to blast him when he needed it. He never had accidents in his crate but, I was very careful with food and water scheduling. Hope this helps. Smile

AlreadyGone's picture

I have heard quite a few 'female' dog owners say that housebreaking females is much harder than males. What breed or mix of are your 2 girls? My brother had a devil of a time housbreaking his Shorkie until he finally taught her to use the litter box. Now she goes there religiously. Hasn't had an accident in years. If I had a toy breed, I might try the litter box method. My boy is a mix of what looks like Malinois and possibly Australian Shep. Who knows, lol. He's not at all hyper but, I've been told he gets revved up pretty good at doggy daycare. At home is just mellow as can be. I hear ya on the shoe thing. Mine too. Biggrin