Punishments
Can somebody tell me? What punishments should happen for the following for a 10 year old boy?
-taking a razor to the bathroom wall
-stealing (money, jewelry, anything)
-stabbing the bathroom sink
-lying (everything out of his mouth is a lie)
-watching porn
-spitting in your SO's hairbrush
-smearing toothpaste all over the bathroom walls
I could go on and on, but seriously...How would you punish for these?
Just wanted some insight.
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Serious grounding and
Serious grounding and possibly a slap. The TV would be out of their room. No DS, Xbox and chores. But, then I am a bithc. This is destructive behavior and that needs therapy. Next up is abusing animals.
SS never had a TV in his room
SS never had a TV in his room because he was never able to earn it (thats because of me, DH wanted to put one in there). DH has tried with taking everything away and enforcing chores. That doesnt work either.
I watch SS with my dog and he's actually good with him, but the thought still scares me because of his behavior.
Oh and the slap has been done
Oh and the slap has been done too, it doesn't faze him.
I didn't hear about what Rags
I didn't hear about what Rags did.
Dh has tried the writing sentences (like Bart Simpson on the chalkboard), he has also tried making SS write apology letters. Doesn't work.
I think SS needs to be in
I think SS needs to be in therapy and I don't think his behavior is going to turn around because he has had 10 years to do as he pleases with no consequences. I am just curious as to what someone would do if everything else has been tried.
I painted the tiles in the
I painted the tiles in the bathroom. SS takes a razor (one you use to shave your legs) and razors the paint off of the walls (when he's in the shower). It usually happens when he's angry.
Damn it!!! Thats an AWESOME
Damn it!!! Thats an AWESOME idea. Had you told me that a year ago, I would have suggested it to DH.
He has ADHD.
He has ADHD.
Nothing fazes him. We've
Nothing fazes him. We've ripped everything out of his room before.
If my DS did those things and
If my DS did those things and a serious ass busting didn't cure him, I would put him in counseling. My DH would do the same with my SDs. Luckily my DH has never been opposed to spanking when they are deserved and we have pretty well behaved kids so I'm guesing the spankings worked.
spankings don't work. we did
spankings don't work. we did have SS in counseling but the counseler wasn't really helping us so we were going to switch. thats when DH decided SS was fine and didn't need counseling.
OMG this is HILARIOUS! I
OMG this is HILARIOUS! I couldn't stop laughing reading this! I'm sorry if you didn't mean for it to be funny but it was to me! Thanks for a good bedtime laugh after a long day!
Applause. I think Im going
Applause.
I think Im going to print this out and give it to DH.
This child needs therapy.
This child needs therapy. That's it. He needs to see a psychologist immediately if not sooner. He is displaying serious psychological issues. Razors?!?!?! Dangerous!!! He's 10...Something has happened to this boy. Does he behave this way in school?
He isn't destructive in
He isn't destructive in school but he does misbehave there too. The last school year I disengaged so I don't really know about the last year because DH hides things from me (because i may be "right").
I know he needs therapy.
It was funny to me because it
It was funny to me because it was REAL. I typically LOVE Rags posts for this very reason. I was raised the old-fashioned way - just like Rags described & I've no ill will toward my mother for that - I think it HELPED make me & my siblings the independent, responsible adults we are today!
It's just funny to hear anyone talk about discipline like this anymore because of the all the "children's rights" crap that is abound these days. Maybe if more people saw the correlation between the lack of discipline in current times and the loser "adults" these children are turning out to be we could get a movement back to good old fashioned butt whoopings - they WORKED!
There is an underlying
There is an underlying problem. I DO suggest counseling. I remember ss doing craY things too when he was 8. I thought he was ADD and thought maybe he had affects of Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. I had never seen a kid behave like that- full blown tantrums, screaming, destroying things when angry... We slowly took away things when he dis that and he literally lost everything in his room- no things on his walls, no tv, no video games because he was SO destructive. Anyway I tens to believe it was because he was having a hard time adjusting to his 'new family'. DH and I had been married 2 years, we had one DD together & were expecting another (a boy at that), it was the first time in his life that he stayed 30 straight days with us in the summer...all that combined with he never dealt with his parents' separation. They were never married but 'broke up' when ss was 2. So no one ever talked to him about it and he never felt he could talk to anyone about it. He had tons of emotions going on in his little 8yo body and enough changes to stress out an adult. We never took him o counseling because shortly after that began a 4 year period of seeing him less and less. He's now 12 and at least not destructive! He had time to mature. For you though, I wouldn't let it go. If punishment doesn't work then I really really suggest counseling.
I could understand better if
I could understand better if this was happening at the beginning of the relationship. I've been with DH for 4 years, married for 1. It just keeps getting worse and worse.
Right. Because no one has
Right. Because no one has fixed the actual problem. I'm not saying the problem is you, your marriage to dh or even related to you at all. Maybe it has something to do with his parents' divorce, maybe something going on at home, maybe something happening at school. Who knows? But I don't see his behavior as normal and since he does get in trouble at school, too, there may be something going on. Even something like ADHD or something. Just saying that if punishments/discipline aren't working then looking into a counselor wouldn't be a bad idea. Even just having a conference with his teacher and/or school counselor to see if they think he needs to see a counselor.
He does have ADHD and is
He does have ADHD and is medicated for it. It doesn't however take away his anger and destructiveness (as it shouldn't because its a whole different issue). At first DH blamed EVERYTHING on ADHD. That is completely ridiculous in my eyes. I don't think any of these behaviors have anything to do with ADHD.
His teachers do think he needs to see a counseler. DH doesn't do meetings with teachers so that stopped when I disengaged (in Sept 2009). All I know from last year is what was written on the report cards (which I wasn't supposed to read).
It hasn't been fixed and I know thats why it keeps getting worse. His parents won't fix it!!! I can't.
Right. Because no one has
Right. Because no one has fixed the actual problem. I'm not saying the problem is you, your marriage to dh or even related to you at all. Maybe it has something to do with his parents' divorce, maybe something going on at home, maybe something happening at school. Who knows? But I don't see his behavior as normal and since he does get in trouble at school, too, there may be something going on. Even something like ADHD or something. Just saying that if punishments/discipline aren't working then looking into a counselor wouldn't be a bad idea. Even just having a conference with his teacher and/or school counselor to see if they think he needs to see a counselor.
DH is having SS work off the
DH is having SS work off the money for the porn he ordered (its in another blog). SS will literally stand out in the yard and cry and talk to himself (DH had him picking up sticks, rocks, and raking if needed). It would be embarrassing to send him to a neighbor's house for him to do that in thier yard (although that is an awesome idea, I think that when I have kids one day, Im going to use some of these suggestions for sure). And its been 100 degrees here lately too.
I'm wondering whatever
I'm wondering whatever happened to long punishments? We would be confined to our room only to leave for school, church, restroom and meal breaks for weeks at at time and sometimes a full month! Oh, of course there was also no TV or video games, etc. in the room with us - we could sleep, read, do homework, write, etc. - that's it! Finally, if friends called or stopped by asking for us they were told we were being punished, embarrassment sometimes works wonders for pre-teens & teenagers!