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Big blow out with BM & DH!

sweetthing's picture

Submitted by sweetthing on Thu, 07/01/2010 - 3:40pm

So Dh confronted BM in an argument infront of SS12 about her criminal BFF. DH & BM had agreed that SS12 was not signing up for this baseball program called the sandlot, but she let him go 2 days this week with the BFF's kid and DH finds this out after the fact from SS.

So they start fighting over that & he unloades about not wanting his kids riding around with a criminal. Big yelling fight ensues with SS12 sitting in his mom's van ( SS10 & BS & I were in the house ) BM knows BFF was serving time for 30 days because she had the woman's kids & the lie was she was in las vegas for training. So BM leaves & goes to SS's baseball game where BFF was & told her everything.

I end up talking to her when she dropped SS off after the game & cooled things off, I told her I am not defending DH & the fighting about this infront of the kids, but I was explaining why he was upset with the kids hanging around BFF aka the manimal all the time. She kept saying that she made a mistake & she is a good person. I told her from what I see I can't make the good person connection because for 4 years now this woman has been rude to us, almost knocked me to the ground when I was pregnant, makes snide comments, was a bitch to me when I had to go & let her know she had left BM;'s house open while watching it & to the best of my knowledge I had never done anything to her & frankly I was tired of being treated that way. THEN we find out she has been convicted of felony theft twice & was serving jail time for 30 days & her kids lived with BM during that time. All that makes our seeing her as a good person to be around the kids hard to see. I pointed out if we had a family friend who treated her that way & then she found out about the criminal conviction I bet she would not want her kids hanging out with them...she agreed.

Over all it worked out fine & she told me that she knows that the reason the kids lives were so good at our house was because of me. Two funny things she said to DH in the argument about the sand lot being free because he has made her pay for everything extra. I told her, it is none of your business really BUT I am making $13,000.00 less a year because of the situation my company is in, I lost my 1 day at home & have to pay more $ for daycare & gas. I am lucky to have a job still & am thankful BUT we have had to be tighter with our money. I want the kids to have every advantage but this is the reality. ( mean while she makes more than DH & I combined so whining about $$ falls on deaf ears with me)

The other thing is both her & the manimal never denied her felonies or mistakes as BM called it but where so quick to point out that she never served her time at the Shakopee woman's prison, I found out today that she served it in the county jail & has to pay 12,000.00 in restitution for her "mistake" and has only paid $1,000.00 of it in over a year.

I told DH he needs a damned filter & needs to work on controlling himself, arguing in front of the kids is getting really old.

Comments

Most Evil's picture

Submitted by Most Evil on Fri, 07/02/2010 - 5:06am

Hmm. I am not seeing the good person connection either? I wonder why she lets this woman live with them, does she pay rent to help out?

I blame the BM for making this conversation necessary, not him for having it with her, but ok, maybe not in front of kids if possible. At least BFF recognizes your contribution to the mix! Smile

sweetthing's picture

Submitted by sweetthing on Fri, 07/02/2010 - 7:58am

The woman thankfully doesn't live with them, she was only watching the house, but they do EVERYTHING together. BM watched her kids while the manimal was training in Las Vegas AKA serving 30 days in the county jail. They have bonded over their single motherhood, which is laughable because DH & I do as much as BM will allow.

Even MIL who likes BM a lot feels that this woman is a bad influence. BM would have NEVER left the boys home alone while she went out drinking before BUT manimal likes to go out drinking & singing Karoke (sp?) so they leave all 7 kids 4 to 12 with the trwo 12 year olds in charge till 2am frequently. This stuff only happens when she is with this woman. It is a wierd relation ship as manima;l will post stuff on her facebook where she makes jealous comments when BM & her BF who she sees only on the weekend do things with out her that they are neglecting the mistress. WTF! That to me is just wierd.

I told DH that he has probably bonded the two idiots even more with his big out burst. We will still have to see this idiot at SS's baseball games which should be akward, but I am assuming she will not cause a scene because she will not want the other parents to know she is a twice convicted felon. That doesn't include being arrested for a hot check, being up for eviction twice & being sued by the Ford dealership all since 2002. I think she might have done something else when she was 20 & the records don't go back that far as BM in her the manimal is a good person speach told DH she was only 20 when she did that, the woman will be 35 in September so that doesn't add up. The funny thing is this all evolves around money & the woman doesn't & hasn't held a full time job in the 4 years I have known her hmmmm.... the other thing is her crimes keep escalating.

Ifany of you see a muzzle out there when your shopping buy one & send it to me. My husband needs one till he can learn some self control.

sweetthing's picture

Submitted by sweetthing on Fri, 07/02/2010 - 10:24am

This was cute when I got in the house after talking to BM SS12 ( who had witnessed this argument) was sitting on the couch and I sat down beside him & put my arm around him & said, man dude you have some screwed up family. We both laughed & then I told him I had talked with his mom & think that I have got this all straightened out. He told me "Sweetthing I love you, thank you. "

No matter what kind of crazy goes on those kids know that I always have their back. I always say they aren't my issue, it is their parents.

sweetthing's picture

Submitted by sweetthing on Fri, 07/02/2010 - 10:58am

Thanks, I try. I am hard on the boys when it comes to keeping things clean & doing things right & they know it. But they also know I will watch their back, I make sure they are taken care of & I know what they like...for example they like Dr Pepper so when they are with us I will make sure that I buy a 12pk of it. I also tell them to tell me what they really think, no holds barred, not what they think I want to hear. My MIL has even said that IO treat them more like adults then their mom. I think it is that I treat them with respect. They can tell me what they think/want but they know that doesn't mean they will get their own way, just that I will consider it when I make decisions.

Sia's picture

Submitted by Sia on Fri, 07/02/2010 - 11:01am

I used to be the same way with my SDs, but they never quite "got it". They never understood that I had their backs.... The major reason why MIL and I do not get along is b/c I defend them when she treats them like doodie. They never saw this though....I dont get it. I've gone to bat for them a thousand times over and it never seemed to be enough.

I am glad that your skids see what you are about, all the way around!