Dh sucks at communication
I just learned last night that we have SS from today through Tuesday when their mom gets off work. It's our holiday so I knew we had them through Monday, but had no idea about Tuesday. My daycare lady was off this week & will only be back on Wed so I had to take vacation on Tues, Thurs BS is going to my coworkers house ( he is friends with her kids & she has a girl that comes to her house ) and Friday DH is taking off. I could have just paid the kids again & saved my vacation day.
I absolutely HATE that decisions are made that affect me, my house, my child by DH & BM & then no one tells me, let alone asks me if that works for me. How I found out was that BS was discussing that he & I had a special date planned for Tuesday to his dad & then DH well SS's will be here too, their mom will get them at 5:30. Now we will still have fun, having the other two with is not a big deal, however there is a 7 & 9 year age difference between them & BS so Tuesday was planned with only a 4 y/o in mind.
My DH is such a moron when it comes to communicating, my favorite is when he & BM make a decision & then acts like he told me about it when I am blind sided by it.
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i would tell him to fuck off,
i would tell him to fuck off, seriously.
No way in hell would i be his babysitter. Not my kid - not my fkn problem!
Get a calendar. When changes
Get a calendar. When changes are made, they have to be written on the calendar and INITIALED by the both of you. If it's not on the calendar or initialed, then obviously it wasn't discussed. I work from home so I know exactly what you're talking about.
It's assumed that since I'm here there are all sorts of tasks I can accomplish during the day (not work related) or I can have my kids and stepkids here. NOT. Especially since the one time we tried that, the stepkids had their mom running over to "drop stuff off" every 15 min which I hate because she takes any opportunity she can when DH isn't home to rip into me somehow.
GREAT idea!!!!! @sweetthing,
GREAT idea!!!!!
@sweetthing, if he objects to this calendar idea or doesn't follow through, it's time to say that you are no longer responsible for his child. And if that doesn't work, then it's time to start planning your exit strategy b/c obviously YOU don't count in this relationship; only his previously enjoyed famly does.
I know the feeling; GG would ALWAYS agree to take the skids an extra weekend whenever the Behemoth TOLD him to do so (she never asked; just expected for him to ask "how high" if she yelled "jump")
I had to have a CONNIPTION to get him to agree to ask me first one time. Then the Behemoth was so shocked, she started calling when she thought I wasn't at home so as to pressure him in to snap agreeing again.
Since the kids are 11 & 13
Since the kids are 11 & 13 it's not like I am babysitting, my skids actually babysat their brother all this week for me. They did awesome & were paid well for it. I have a relationship with the boys so hanging out with them isn't the issue.
The f off offense is the lack of communication once again. My issue is with DH not the kids. I have been on here a long time & I think a lot of the problems we all have is because our husbands cause the issues more so than the kids or BM. They have the power to put a stop to stuff but are too big a pussy to do so or push off what they should be doing on the SM.
I think we all have this
I think we all have this problem to a certain extent, my DH will talk to BM and switch or add extra weekends without telling me then is shocked when I am upset because I had plans for that weekend. When will these men relize we make plans around there kids sometimes, not for meaness but for necessity, and ask before doing?
I think that the calendar
I think that the calendar idea is a great one especially for us ladies with littler kids. With my skids they usually see us for an hr or 2 a day, so my sitch is different from a lot of ladies here, that & the fact the kids & I are buddies.
Hubby does this to me also.
Hubby does this to me also. Since I don't work, I am a college student, I am home a lot - so it shouldn't be a big deal when Demented decides that she needs to spend her visitation time doing something else, should it? Because he's 11 and really doesn't require a lot of care. Never mind that I spend almost all of my time studying, which I can't do with noise and constant interruptions. I am not the one that decided to bring a child into the world, so why do they try to guilt me because I don't want to spend 24/7 with him?
Hehehehe!