Suggestions for SD5 who seems to be picking up on obsessive traits from BM?
SD5 has never shown any traits towards cleanliness. Like any 5 year old, she has to be reminded to clean up her messes and often is rather grouchy about it.
However, in just the past few weeks we've noticed a sudden change. She's become very particular about her things, wanting to make sure they are in the "right" spot. We have a young dog who moves their toys around and it drives her crazy. She makes sure her bed is a certain way before she will lay in it, and she has to have her stuffed animals in a certain position before she can sleep. Last night her skirt got wet in the smallest little spot and she insisted she had to change. She won't wear any outfit that didn't originally "go together". Today she threw a fit in the car because I gave her a pair of socks to wear that had a little speck of a stain on the bottom...what socks DON'T get stained, may I ask? She started crying because she didn't want to wear a dirty sock. I told her to take a deep breath, calm down, and see that she was crying over a sock....not a big deal. I explained that socks get stained easily because they are on the bottom of your feet, that they were "clean".
It kind of scares me. BM is a perfectionist with her home, it must be cleaned and vaccuumed EVERY night, and DF has told me that she too will throw a fit if something isn't in the "right" place. Is her daughter just copying what she learns from BM or does this sound a bit OCD? Totally fine with the cleanliness factor as it makes my life easier, but it worries me that it might get to an extent that it is truly stressful for her.
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If you find the answer let me
If you find the answer let me know.
I have the same problem with my sd7 and to a lesser extent sd5. SD7 actually comes in our home and wipes her finger across things in rooms we barely use then holds it up, looks at the dust and makes a comment. She comments on EVERYTHING that's out of place. Not just in the house but in the cars.
I usually tell her not to worry about it because we have a home to LIVE in, to to impress other people with or I ask her if she made an appointment with Better Homes & Gardens to come over to photograph it.
With the shoes or socks having a stain or getting wet, I usually tell her she isn't going to be in any beauty contest today so don't worry about it.
Now I'm all for things being SANITARY and SAFE but I'm not a clean freak. I like a comfortable home, not a showplace where people can't feel comfortable when they visit like their mother's home is.
I can see your SD7 being my
I can see your SD7 being my SD5 in two years!!! SCARY! I am the same as you...not a clean freak by any means. I like the fact that I don't get stressed out about a spot on my sock
I've known a few adults in my life like this. Either they are clean-freaks and are okay with it on their own and don't worry about other people's messes, or they are clean-freaks who JUDGE others for their "filthy existence" (in their opinion). BM is one of the second type.
I guess we can just continue to teach them that it isn't something to get stressed out or anxious over. If she wants to help me clean something, that'd be great. If she wants to keep her room/bed clean, that's even better. Maybe we need to give them the boundaries of what is "theirs" to judge/clean and what is not their concern?
We have that problem, only
We have that problem, only it's the opposite of clean!! Our house is kept pretty clean and tidy...BMs house is a sty!! SD5 will leave banana peels, old yogurt containers, etc on any surface EXCEPT the kitchen. Drives me nuts! Anytime I tell her to go throw her trash away its "Mom just picks it up for me". YUCK! It sucks that she takes after her moms traits, especially when they are the total opposite of ours!
Thanks for the suggestions.
Thanks for the suggestions. As far as meds go, we have absolutely no say in that...it's up to BM. I'm not sure she'd ever admit that it was a problem as she doesn't see her own faults. I do understand that I will let SD5 be if she wants to do something on her own, like the bed and stuffed animals. It's just going to be hard to reason with her when she has a speck of dirt on her sock!