Well wishes?
Just wanted to know if BM calls any of your FH/SO/DH's on their birthdays or on Holidays?
BM never used to do this and I am finding that now she is starting to call FH on his BDay and she also got on the phone when he was talking to the kids to wish him a Happy Easter.I already don't trust her and find it extremely odd which gives me a bad feeling about it. I'm happy to say that he ignored her call on his bday and was quick to hang up when she called on Easter.
I don't call my ex for any of that stuff. I remind BS to call him on his BDay but that is about it.
Am I wrong for thinking this is odd?
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She sends him a happy
She sends him a happy birthday text. i hate it because I'm a jealous wench...it irks me to no end.
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We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are. ~Anaïs Nin
Ditto!!!!! _______________ "M
Ditto!!!!!
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"Most couples have not had hundreds of arguments, they've had the same argument hundreds of times."
BBB,, I think that the women
BBB,, I think that the women who do this, do it just to see if it will bother us.... If our BM did that I would get on the phone and say in my sweeeetest voice.. Ahhhhh that was so nice of you to wish MY husband a happy birthday...do you want to know what I will be giving him as a present... OHH no so sorry maybe that is to much information... Have a nice day sweetie!!
Exactly - Our BM actually
Exactly - Our BM actually admitted to sending texts like this, or several texts throughout the day and late at night to piss me off - if that's not proof that other BM's do it too, I dont know what is.
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"Most couples have not had hundreds of arguments, they've had the same argument hundreds of times."
not so much on the
not so much on the bday...but on the holidays when we have SD she asks to speak to him. now that SD has a phone...not so much. nothing on this past Easter.
hell no!
hell no!
*Raises hand* Jealous wench
*Raises hand* Jealous wench here too. The thing that drives me nuts about it, is that in the past he told the kids once to tell their mom "Happy ______" (whatever the holiday was) and she went and told people that he was still in love with her and trying to get to her through the kids. So he dropped it. And when he dropped it, she started. Am I wrong for not understanding it? Did I miss something?
LOL, this used to piss me
LOL, this used to piss me off when she would think BF was still in love with her, but now I laugh my ass off at it because of how ridiculous it sounds. That's right Bm, BF can't love "freely" b/c of you, and you are the only one that can free him of that. *rolls eyes*
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"Most couples have not had hundreds of arguments, they've had the same argument hundreds of times."
LOL OMG I feel the same
LOL OMG I feel the same way!!! It was so frustrating because I didn't understand how her thought process worked. She once left SD9 at the time home alone for a few hours. SD called FH to say she was scared and FH was trying to call BM. The next day BM attacked FH for calling her saying he was just trying to see where BM was because he wanted to make sure she wasn't with another man. :jawdrop: :jawdrop: :jawdrop: so it had nothing to do with the fact that you left alittle girl home alone to go shopping? Really?
OMG...see how hilarious that
OMG...see how hilarious that is! It makes her look pathetic and desperate Gi, two qualities that are not attractive AT ALL to have!
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"Most couples have not had hundreds of arguments, they've had the same argument hundreds of times."
I don't think you're wrong.
I don't think you're wrong. I think it makes it harder for you when you know she went around taking what he said and twisting it into more than it was. kinda makes a girl paranoid for future interactions when shyte like that happens. She's probably still in love with him and now that he stopped showing courtesy by remembering her birthday or showing courtesy by giving well wishes on holidays, she is trying to keep the "connection" she thought they had.
I know it's hard to deal with...but I just force myself to laugh at how pathetic it is. If I don't laugh at her stupid,clingy ways...I'll cry and be angry about it and what happens when we get angry girls?? We get crows feet and wrinkly foreheads just like BM!!
(((((GiGi))))) Don't worry mama...you're not alone in feeling icky about this
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We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are. ~Anaïs Nin
Thanks for the hugs B. TBH,
Thanks for the hugs B. TBH, and I'm not just saying this, I think she does still have feelings for him. Or at least a bad case of regret. I'm going to have to try the laugh it off method, because right now I show indifference though I'm BOILING inside.
Wingnut always tries to make
Wingnut always tries to make sure she wishes dh a good day, holiday, bday, or whatever. She always makes up some other reason to place the call, but she isn't fooling anyone. Dh never answers her call, never returns her fake kindness, and never thanks her. In fact, last year they had an exchange on his bday. She said "Happy Birthday" and he responded with "Whatever". That is pretty much how he responds to everything she says. You'd think she'd get the hint, but she just looks at him all wistful and hurt.
Oh yeh - I am not the least bit jealous. I find her to be pathetic.
"A pessimist complains about the wind, an optimist counts on the wind changing, a realist adjusts his sails"
There IS a difference between having a different opinion and being an asshole, find it.
She said "Happy Birthday"
She said "Happy Birthday" and he responded with "Whatever".<---------
LOL, if she didn't get the hint after that than I don't know what to tell you.
And I admire the fact that you aren't a jealous person
He pretty much responds to
He pretty much responds to everything she says with "whatever, that isn't my problem". She really just looks at him, all hurt waiting for more. It is truly sick. I know she'd take him back in a heart beat. In fact, I truly believe she'd move right in here with the two of us if it got her one iota of his attention.
Its easy for me to not be jealous because he LOATHES her. Even though he was with her for 20 years, I feel no jealousy toward their past. I resent the hell out of the money he is obligated by law to send her and I hate that they have a kid together (mostly because I am struggling with having my own), but their relationship was nothing like ours. There is no comparison. He absolutely dotes on me. She never had that part of him.
"A pessimist complains about the wind, an optimist counts on the wind changing, a realist adjusts his sails"
There IS a difference between having a different opinion and being an asshole, find it.
BM used to do that to DH but
BM used to do that to DH but it never bothered me really, she seemed genuinely nice back then too. I always wish EH a happy bday or whatever. But my favorite text to send him is on the anniversary of our divorce. I txt him... x many years ago you made the biggest mistake of your life... THANK YOU! LOL But we have that kind of relationship where we can joke and kid each other.
My husband's ex only wishes
My husband's ex only wishes him well when she's in an upswing of her mood pendulum.
I choose not to care. Choice meaning that it didn't come naturally, I had to make a conscience effort.
I know that there is no depth to it and that it usually constitutes her wanting something. Their relationship is a lot like that, it has no depth to it... merely an exchange of manipulations.
"For every ailment under the sun....There is a remedy, or there is none;
If there be one, try to find it; If there be none, never mind it." ~ W.W. Bartley
this is kinda strange but
this is kinda strange but reading that made me think of the stream near my house...from a distance it looks smooth,deep and lovely. Up close it's shallow,full of sharp nasty rocks and really not useful at all. The same could be said for these so called "relationships" BM's try to maintain with our husbands.
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We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are. ~Anaïs Nin
Maybe.... I just feel like
Maybe.... I just feel like no genuine friendship can come from this. I feel like there will always be animosity, unresolved feelings, anger, etc.(which could be the sharp rocks in the otherwise "perfect" stream).
I don't think that coparenting warrants friendship. If it works for you then cool. But to me that is more the exception than the rule.
If I felt like she was truly being sincere, then I would just deal. But I know she isn't. Everytime he puts more and more distance between them she throws a bone like this in hopes of reeling him back in. Its exhausting.
Maybe I should feel pity instead of jealousy, IDK.
Look at you BBB. All full of
Look at you BBB. All full of wisdom today and stuff.
I really, really like that analogy.
"For every ailment under the sun....There is a remedy, or there is none;
If there be one, try to find it; If there be none, never mind it." ~ W.W. Bartley
I've been riding my broom
I've been riding my broom lately...gives me moments of clarity and pearls of wisdom (someone posted that on my FB and it was too cute not to steal)...
Glad you like
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We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are. ~Anaïs Nin
Their relationship is a lot
Their relationship is a lot like that, it has no depth to it... merely an exchange of manipulations.<------- And this is what I think is the reason why BM is doing it.
If her and FH had a more friendly water-under-bridge type friendship like WSM and her Ex, then I would just grin and bear it. But I have a sinking feeling that she is trying to stir him up because he leaves her alone. Like even though she said he wasn't over her perhaps the opposite is true,IDK
Bottom line is that you are
Bottom line is that you are probably right.
You can't change that in her. Or the fact that he may take the bait and hang onto hope that they can let it all go and come to a better place where all the nonsense stops.
I've learned the more my husband is let down and exposed to nonsense, the more he comes to a place where HE cares less about the relationship with the woman he had three children with.
I know from the outside looking in what she's up to.. I also never was emotionally tied to her and hanging onto a hope that she could be more than what she is capable of being. He gets to learn it the hard way and let go of that hope in his own way.
I choose to let him do just that. I choose not to care. I choose to be happy and NOT annoyed by just how dumb both of them are sometimes.
"For every ailment under the sun....There is a remedy, or there is none;
If there be one, try to find it; If there be none, never mind it." ~ W.W. Bartley
"I choose to be happy and
"I choose to be happy and NOT annoyed by just how dumb both of them are sometimes."
And are you mostly successful with that? What's your secret? You're in Colorado. Is it medical marijuana?
I do have success with it.
I do have success with it.
I try not to be involved in any of it. He's a big boy, he gets to handle it in any way he sees fit.
I let go of outcomes and worry only about my own marriage.
As far as the herbal industry around here... I'm more of a Rocky Mountain High type of girl. The air here is unparallel to anywhere I've ever been. It's intoxicating in how clean it is. So I fill my lungs with the air not THC laced smoke.
Not that I used to always be this way. }:)
(Just kidding)
"For every ailment under the sun....There is a remedy, or there is none;
If there be one, try to find it; If there be none, never mind it." ~ W.W. Bartley
I'm not so sure you're
I'm not so sure you're kidding. You have been surprising me lately.
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"If it sounds like I think I am better than you, it's because I do."
You just hit the nail on the
You just hit the nail on the head. She does it when he ignores her because she doesn't like to think he is capable of living without her. It is simply away for her to think, "HA - at least I know he HAD to think about me today". It is her way of convincing herself she still has a role in his world. The thing is - just because she thinks it, doesn't make it so. In Wingnut's mind, she and dh are still married. It used to bother dh a lot that she was this delusional, but we've reached a place where it makes no difference to us what she thinks. His marriage to her was like stepping in dog pooh. He scraped it off, the stench only lingers because they have a child together. Otherwise, he'd throw the entire shoe in the trash. After a while, you get used to the smell and it doesn't offend quite so much.
Really, Gig - would you want to force someone to think about you? She is pathetic and needy. I am sure she made YOU think about her more than FH thought about it.
"A pessimist complains about the wind, an optimist counts on the wind changing, a realist adjusts his sails"
There IS a difference between having a different opinion and being an asshole, find it.
No, SVS I wouldn't want to
No, SVS I wouldn't want to force someone to think about me. You really changed my perspective on it. Thanks.
I think she IS needy, but is more passive agressive about it so it doesn't look so obvious to someone like me. Does it bother me? Not as much as before, but yea it does. Maybe because I don't really get her logic behind, or maybe because FH doesn't see it because of the way she does it.
I discussed Wingnut's
I discussed Wingnut's delusional thought process with my therapist once. I was very upset and used the phrase "I just can't get my head around her thought processes". His response? "That is a very good thing!! You really don't want to be in a mindset where you actually understand crazy!!". Don't try to figure out her logic. FH may or may not see what you see. The only thing that is important is how he treats you!
"A pessimist complains about the wind, an optimist counts on the wind changing, a realist adjusts his sails"
There IS a difference between having a different opinion and being an asshole, find it.
On our first anniversary,
On our first anniversary, The Wookie sent texts to Truelight with pictures of the kids, aren't they cute comments, when she had never EVER texted him before. The only thing - she got the date wrong by 2 days. LOL!!!! Stupid Wookie.
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Love me or hate me, I'm still gonna shine!!!
My DH ex wife calls on thier
My DH ex wife calls on thier anniversary!!!!