I tell BM this all of the time. A lot of what we disagree on is because we were brought up differently, we are two completely different people. For instance: BM thinks it is acceptable to smoke weed when SS is home, as long as he is asleep. This is partly because HER parents did this. To her, it is normal. I, on the other hand, think it is completely irresponsible... to do it at all, much less when your kid is home ESPECIALLY when you have 4 days a week without him, to part take in such immature behavior.

I realize there are a lot of people in this world that smoke weed and are normal functioning adults. Parents with jobs, and that go to church and all that jazz. BUT the difference is BM allows it to control her life. She gets to the point that she is so high, she won't even get up to take SS to school in the morning. And thinks that "ok, every once in a while".

So YES, we argue because we are completely opposite people. DH knew what he was lookin for when he found me.

DISbelief~

~You have to BE crazy to UNDERSTAND crazy!~

I hate BM because she has an obsessive need to be completely in control of any interaction, all the time. She has NEVER, in the 3 1/2 years I have known her, ever compromised, agreed to anything that would involve any sort of effort on her part unless SHE comes up with it, apologized, or admitted there was any other valid perspective than her own. She is also incapable of treating us with respect unless she needs something -- and if we are unable to deliver she immediately goes ballistic.

I believe that I am at a place now where, if she were able to change her attitude enough to try to work TOGETHER to make decisions, I would eventually be able to believe her sincerity enough to put my fists down and start cooperating. But she would probably have to have a lobotomy for that to ever happen.

BB

You are not second best, you are not second class. Do not ever let anyone make you feel that way. - 2BLoved

I can't stand our BM because of all the incredibly unethical and lowdown trashy stuff she has done to my family.

She and I would never get along in a million years because she thinks everyone is an idiot and she can tell us whatever she wants, and proclaim it as 'the truth'.

She tries to patronize me even though I am about 7 years older than she is, she tries to give me advice about my DH and every other thing, when she is extremely ignorant and her life is completely f'd up from every angle.

There is no way in hell I would ever associate with her if she was not my BM, and as it is, we have only met in person once. I have only heard her drunk untreated bi-polar horrible voice screaming down my phone and answering machine a million times over the 10 years I have been w/DH, telling us both how horrible we are.

But we will have to see each other this year - gross!!
_________________________________________________________
“Learn by practice.” - Martha Graham

I sure hate mine!!! I will step up and say that yes, I hate our BM. }:)

I have great reasons to and she has been nothing but a psychotic bitch from day one. I have already posted a lot on this (gotta love the vent), but I do agree that one of the reasons there seems to be so much conflict between the BM and the SM is that in most of our cases, we are total opposites. In my case, DH never married BM and never wanted to. He was young and stupid and got a casual girlfriend (and sister of his roommate) pregnant and didn't find out until later that she had planned it and was already psychotically obsessed with him. He dumped her immediately, but was a full time, committed dad from day one. After years of pressure he tried again with BM (resulting in the second horrible mistake) for SS11's sake and it was a horrible decision and just cemented his feelings of revulsion for her. For the 10+ years they have co-parented (only four of which they were together) he has just gotten firmer and firmer in his dislike for her and his total lack of respect for her "parenting." I am the exact opposite of BM in pretty much every way. We look completely different (I'm a petite, small boned brunette with green eyes-she is a gigantic white trash beluga whale with a mustache, double chin and frizzy blonde hair matched with bulging blue eyes that look like dead fish eyes) and couldn't be more different as a person and in our backgrounds. She comes from a white trash, druggie, bar-hopping heroin addict family and I come from a large, warm and loving Irish family. I care about people and have morals and values. I can be hateful if pushed, but BM is the one human being that I hate with all my heart and is the only person that brings out my true inner bitch. I accept this and allow myself to have one person that I hate and accept it fully. I love my husband and my family so much and put my skids needs before any petty differences with BM and that is another huge difference between us. She puts herself first over her children and doesn't take care of them at all. She doesn't outright abuse them or else we would get custody, but she is one of the worst mothers and knows it. She is the poster girl for low self esteem and puts skanky bar flies over her children and refuses to step up and take good care of them. I can goad her into taking better care of them temporarily because she wants people to THINK she's a good mom and doesn't want to be shown up by the person she hates the most, but she doesn't know how to actually take care of them.

I could go on and on, but I would say that not all of us hate our BMs, but there are plenty of us who do (me) and we have very good reasons for hating them. I only put up with that bitch being in my life because I love my husband so much and am willing to put up with a lot to be with him. I come with baggage too and he loves me unconditionally and that love is returned...I live with his mistakes and he lives with my problems. It's worth it because we love each other so much.

"If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they will kill you." ~Oscar Wilde

I wish I could be friends with her. I really do. Even though we have never had a conversation, and she's called me every name you can think of to DH and SD, I don't hate her. Even though she's tried to ruin my life so many times I've lost count over the past 6 years, I don't hate her. Quite contrary, she HATES me with a passion.

She either hates me because she doesn't know anything about me and has painted a false picture in her head, or she hates me because she knows I'm a really good person and that makes her the 'loser' in her mind. I don't know, but if she ever stopped hating enough to be a grown up, I'd embrace her and forget every psycho thing she's ever done.

I hate BM. I truely do.
She keeps SD up and out past 10pm every night she has her.
The last time SO got SD5 she had big black dark circles under her eyes. They were finally started to go away the day she had to go back with BM.
She smokes pot all day long, and thinks it's okay because "She does it outside" but she breaks up pot in front of SD5.
In general she's just a liar, a fake, ALWAYS late, doesnt keep her word... I have always not liked ppl who cant keep their word, or be on time. Its just disrespectful to the people you have plans with.

Yep....hate the BM...sorry, I don't know if I can ever forgive her for all the madness she has caused.

aaahhhhh becuz she is a bi**h!

I liked her at first, intill she starting treating me like crap. Then I hated her, but now I am indifferent. I don't care at all--she has nothing to do with me or my (DHs and I's) kids.