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Turning the tables...advice for a friend (BM) whose ex is not paying child support.

SteppingUp's picture

My friend is the BM in this situation. She has FULL custody of her daughter and the biological father has no contact (history of domestic violence). However, the biofather is married now, and has another daughter with his current wife. Two years ago, the biofather stopped paying child support. It took CSE months to figure out "why"...all they could determine is that he has no income anymore. Indeed they finally figured out that he is going to college again, therefore not working, so he must be living off of his wife's paycheck and maybe working on the side for cash under the table.

Obviously he has racked up a hefty back-pay amount, which he'll have to pay back when he gets an income again (how dumb can you be?).

My friend has been with her boyfriend for almost 3 years. They have discussed that when they get married, her husband will adopt her daughter (they're 99.9% positive the biodad will sign over his rights, after all he has no contact and that will let him out of paying CS). Will this action nullify the biological father's back pay that he owes?? I wouldn't think so...but maybe?

Comments

Auteur's picture

I doubt it will nullify any back payments owed.

I was in this situation as well. My first ex-hubby became a "professional student" and lived off 2nd wive's income. This was back in the eighties before all the draconian CS rules so no CS for me. He did manage to get a fairly nice paying job with his PHD two months after biodaughter turned 21. . .ahem.

2nd ex-hubby was a raging, physically abusive alcoholic. Both ex-hubbies went on Welfare the moment I showed them the door. They both intended to live off me and NOT work. Needless to say I got no CS from 2nd hubby either.

Sometimes, if a woman is in serious threat of violence from an ex who happens to be a biodad, it's not worth it to pursue CS.

I did allow full visitation as they requested however so as not to "pull a PAS."

Anywho78's picture

In TX, back CS is not nullified if the child is adopted...future payments won't be necessary (in some cases of Termination of Parental Rights) but anything owed will need to be paid.

stepsonhatesme's picture

I'm in the same situation right now. My DH is going to adopt my kids. Their BD has no contact and HAS already signed the papers to give up his rights. I was told by the CSEA that I can sign off on the back support if I want to. BUT even if I do they may make him pay all or a portion of it.
FYI: He owes me well over $35,000. So NO I'm not signing off on it. But he thinks I will. Last laugh will be on his a@@

Willow2010's picture

Will this action nullify the biological father's back pay that he owes??
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Anywho is correct. In Texas, he will still owe the back support. However…if the bio dad gives her grief, she can, “forgive” those arrears as an incentive for the bio dad to sign over rights.

SteppingUp's picture

Thanks everyone! Like I said I didn't think it'd be that way but you never know. I agree if she wanted to she could sign off on that back pay...but I don't think she should or would!

herewegoagain's picture

Does she want to have her husband adopt her daughter so that someone else is also financially liable for the child or because that is in the best interests of the child? Because really, if it's in the best interests of the child and the child currently has a roof over her head, clothing, food, etc...there's no reason for her to worry about wether her ex pays her back or not.

I am sorry to be so cynical here, but the fact is that most BMs I have ever met only ask about child support. If they had a kid with a loser, the kid would have still had a loser dad if they had stayed together. If they had a kid with a loser, the kid would get no support from the dad either way...so really, the child is living based on if his parents were still together...which is the intent of child support...and that should include "no child support too."

Now if the fact that he doesn't visit, the fact that her husband would adopt the child have nothing to do with child support or someone else being responsible for paying for the child, then she shouldn't even question it.

SteppingUp's picture

I know exactly what you're saying. There are a lot of factors here htat I can't really get in to. But basically the little girl doesn't even KNOW her father, what he looks like, NOTHING. She has started to call the boyfriend "Dad" so really it'd make more sense for him to adopt her.

Sexybaby's picture

I'm going through the exact same thing. My DH wants to adopt my sons, the bio father had no contact or ever paid CS to me in 10yrs. I'm getting bio father's rights removed.(domestic violence relationship was married to him for two yrs too long). He owes me a lot like 40,000