Job Overseas & Court System
Ok, I don't post too often, but I now have an opportunity that might take me overseas for a 2-year assignment. My wife & kids could be allowed to join me at the post. I have a SD 11 and SS 14 who live with us. We also have a daughter (almost 3) and another baby daughter due in less than a month. Legally, there is joint custody, and the older kids go every other weekend to visit their dad.
I know courts do not like to separate ex-families even across states, much less another country, but in doing so the court is denying the father (me) of the other younger children the opportunity to be with their united family. Does a Step-parent's rights trump a biological parent's rights? Taking the risk of staying in my current job denies me the ability to move forward in my career and pursue what is in the best interest of all my childer, step children and biological children. Hell, I spend more on the step kids for sure than the $66K in back child support the Bio-dad owes his children. He has been making regular payments ever since he was one foot away from being sent to jail for evading the payments, but it sickens me to think that this father gets more rights than I would.
Any insights on this would be most appreciated. My wife fully supports me and knows that this would be in the best interest of our family, but the biofather can completely hold our situation hostage it would seem.
My solution would be for the children to spend Xmas and the Summers with their bio-father. Seems easy enough. Done. Can't the court see things this way? The only point of contention I would make is that he should pay the cost of airfare, which could be reduced from the arrears he owes in support.
If you don't think it is fair
If you don't think it is fair for you to be separated from your kids for two years.
What makes it fair that the bio dad of your skids is to be separated from his kids for two years: because YOU want to do something.
Truthfully, if the courts
Truthfully, if the courts find in your wifes favor that you can take the skids with you, calculate into your budget 2 round trip tickets to see their dad at least 2-3 times a year.
Normally the parent who moves extreme distances is the parent who is responsible for all trasportation costs.
You may be able to get a
You may be able to get a court to make a change in physical custody based on the advantages your expat job may provide for your family including the Skids.
With an arrears of $66k to beat BioDad over the head with you may be able to work something out with him. I would not forgive it but hint that you might work with him on it. You may be able to get his approval to take the Skids with you and he gets school breat visitation time.
Not likely, put possible.
As others have said, as a Sparent you have no official rights or standing though as a custodial StepDad I have always taken whatever rights I chose and give DickHead the option of doing what we tell him to do when we tell him to do it or to meet us in court. He has never taken us up on our offer to see us in court.
With a deadbeat BioDad you may have more leverage than you would if he were not a worthless POS who is in arrears $66K.
I never worked as an expat while SS was a minor though we did go an several international trips. However, we are currently expats and have been for the past 2 years.
Good luck with your expat adventure. I hope you can get BioDad to play ball.