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Gay blended family

Cirtap1976's picture

Submitted by Cirtap1976 on Wed, 12/02/2009 - 8:23pm

I have been involved in a wonderful relationship for many months now. I very much love my partner, and see him as a part of my future. We haven’t been together long, but we both feel that we have known each other for many years. He has 2 wonderful children. I adore them completely. I think of them often, and they make me feel like I am a part of their family. He also has an ex-wife, who has become a very good friend of mine. The two of them have a wonderful relationship, and although he came out to her 6 years ago, and only moved on his own 2 years ago, they maintain a working parent relationship because they are friends. The children don’t know daddy is gay. They only know that I am a very special friend to daddy. But they see the 3 adults getting along so well, that they have no worries about any of it.
Its hard not to feel like Im having an affair with this man, that I am the proverbial “other woman” in daddys life. But through all the chaos that has ensued, I have enjoyed being an important person to not just daddy, but to the children and mommy too.
It hasn’t been easy I am sure for either of us. We both have our issues and imperfections, but who doesn’t. I just know that for some reason, I have fallen in love with all of them, and all their personalities, for different reasons.

I come a blended family myself. It was always just me and mom till my step father came along. We didn’t exactly get along, my step-father and I, and there fore I don’t really have a good frame of reference for the situation I am now in with my partner and his children.

Anyway, Looking forward to blogging more, and finding out more about the intracies of stepparenting

Comments

belleboudeuse's picture

Submitted by belleboudeuse on Wed, 12/02/2009 - 8:37pm

Welcome, Cirtap!

Glad you found us. I'm glad that your experiences have been positive so far. Being a "step" can be very complicated, even when it works well. I hope you feel this is a good place for you to vent, get advice, and seek opinions.

BB

"No matter how cynical I get, it's never enough." - Lily Tomlin

melis070179's picture

Submitted by melis070179 on Wed, 12/02/2009 - 9:03pm

How old are his children? And welcome!

"I child proofed my whole house, but they STILL get in!"

sadstepmom26's picture

Submitted by sadstepmom26 on Wed, 12/02/2009 - 9:03pm

Welcome. I know that I've been helped so much by this site and I hope it does the same for you Smile

Wicked.Step.Monster's picture

Submitted by Wicked.Step.Monster on Wed, 12/02/2009 - 10:06pm

Welcome Welcome! Look forward to hearing more from you!! Steve's right, step parenting IS the hardest job in the world, but it can be soooo worth it!

herewegoagain's picture

Submitted by herewegoagain on Wed, 12/02/2009 - 11:19pm

Welcome! If you have a halfway decent relationship with the BM, then you are better off than most of us here...hehe...Good for you!

Storm76's picture

Submitted by Storm76 on Thu, 12/03/2009 - 3:07am

Hi & welcome,

I was introduced initially to my SS10 as daddy's friend, and I think it helped because I could get to know him a bit without the added pressure & when he was told I was dad's girlfriend he already had decided he liked me which was great.

This place is a godsend, so enjoy!

Sita Tara's picture

Submitted by Sita Tara on Thu, 12/03/2009 - 8:38am

Hello there,
I look forward to reading your perspective on the situation. I'm betting it's more universal than would seem apparent at first.
Welcome to ST!

"Parental love is unconditional, relationships are reciprocal." ~Zen

AllSmiles's picture

Submitted by AllSmiles on Thu, 12/03/2009 - 10:49am

So, the BM is good friend and the children are wonderful...so what do you have to bitch/vent about??? Sounds more like you have gay relationship issues than step parent issues.

"Courage is fear holding on a minute longer." General George S. Patton

Sita Tara's picture

Submitted by Sita Tara on Thu, 12/03/2009 - 3:55pm

Ahh...now I see.

Allsmiles, based on what you wrote on the other post, I'm going to refrain from reading into this one further and try to assume that this didn't come out as you intended?

"Parental love is unconditional, relationships are reciprocal." ~Zen

GiGi222's picture

Submitted by GiGi222 on Thu, 12/03/2009 - 3:33pm

Wow allsmiles, really? He can only come here to bitch? NICE...
Anyway...

Welcome Cirtap!!!!!!
I know sometimes it is hard. I think many of us have had that moment when we feel like the other woman. I think that your partner and his ex are just trying to co-parent the best way they can.
I'm glad the children have taken a liking towards you, I know that helps as well. Look forward to hearing more from you!

BMJen's picture

Submitted by BMJen on Thu, 12/03/2009 - 3:42pm

I, for one, am VERY excited that you are here! YAY!!! You will add some more diversity, and very welcomed by me to this group of mis fit step parents! Wink

I'm really happy that you guys all get along so well...........the BM must be a pretty cool chick-a-dee to be okay with everything, etc.

I'm just saying..........if Juicey (my DH) came home, told me he was gay, left, moved in with a dude..........man I may turn crazy BM yet! LOL! So she sounds like a pretty cool girl, no wonder you all get along so well. And you should thank your lucky stars for that kind of relationship. It's hard to come across.

Anyways, I just wanted to say hi and let you know that I'm very glad you are here and I can't wait to talk with you more! ((hugs))

misfit's picture

Submitted by misfit on Thu, 12/03/2009 - 4:14pm

Welcome, welcome,
Good to hear you have a good relationship with the whole family. It will be a wonderful thing to look back on if trouble comes your way, the way you all were from the beginning Smile

Of course, hopefully much trouble won't find you Smile

I look forward to reading your bits.

cantmissamy's picture

Submitted by cantmissamy on Thu, 12/03/2009 - 9:14pm

Welcome, Welcome, Welcome. You will find here a wonderful group of people who will support you in this crazy ride we call step-parenting. Through the good and bad were all here for one another and this a great support system...
I cant wait to read more from you...

lovelovelove's picture

Submitted by lovelovelove on Thu, 12/03/2009 - 9:49pm

Welcome to the craziness...lol. It's great that you have a good relationship with BM. How old are the step-kids, if you don't mind me asking? I wish my two step-daughters' mom (BM) would get into a good relationship. It would be SO good for her...but she refuses to accept herself as a lesbian. She is alone (for 6 years now) and very miserable and in turn, tries her best to make me and my DH miserable. Any advice??

Love Smile

**Love me or hate me, I'm still gonna shine!!**