Our rules are simple.
1. Pick up after yourselves, and when they dont , my dh does scream at them.

2. Have respect for anyone under the household , if not , privalages are taken away...ie no tv , no internet, no games and no phone calls unless its bm.

My dh is quite strict and his kids rarely cross the line, i never waste my breath on stupidity so they dont waste their time with me lol...and i give them alot of space so i have'nt had too much problems. They dont live here, dont come around as much anymore and its been relatively quiet and beomcing even morequiet. Its nice...but eerie at the same time. So used to the bm stirring up shit.

Simple Simple Simple:

Leave the house the way you found it. If you don't follow this, you don't get any privileges.

Respect the property of your housemates. If you don't, then the housemate doesn't need to respect you either.

No hitting,or fighting. If you have a disagreement, you are to address the matter in the presence of an adult and proceed to work out the cause in an organized manner.

"Each contact with a human being is so rare, so precious, one should preserve it." *Anais Nin*

We have the regular rules in place. We both discussed and agreed to them.

1. We don't allow playing ball in the house, rough housing (they can go outside for that)

2. clean up after themselves. Do their own laundry

3. They take turns clearing the table and doing dishes (loading the dishwasher)

4. they have chores and cannot go anywhere until they are done.

5. No children after 9:00 on week nights (they can read, watch tv in their room play games or go to bed)

6. Be respectful to everyone in the house

7. No friends calling or coming by before 10:00 am. on weekends.

8. No phone calls after 9 on week nights and 10 on weekends.

We enforce them by either sending them to their room, or taking away privileges when they are visiting. My husband is very good about this. Unless he is not around and they are getting on my nerves, I very rarely say anything to them. He usually takes care of it. I struck gold with my husband. He and I are very much alike in parenting situations. We are usually on the same page.

we've kinda been making up the rules as we go along. we had a weeks notice that ss would be coming to live with us and (even though that is what we wanted) it was really sudden.
we have rules and ss has rules.
my rule is that i am not a babysitter. dh got upset with me (very upset) the first time this came up. he got a new toy (dirt bike) and was gone for literally the entire afternoon and into the night. when he came home i told him that he owed me $56 dollars as i charge $8 an hour and next time that he needs me to baby sit i would appreciate a phone call if he is going to be late. He was hurt and told me that ss is my child as much as anyone elses . i told him i feel that way too but if i left him at home with ss all day and night and went out to the bar and hung out with the girls i know he would be pissed. he eventually agreed and still owes me 40 bucks.
dh's only "rule" is that the three of us are a family and if anyone out side of our home wants to contest that they will be screamed at lol.
ss's rules are just normal kid stuff - no hitting, no talking back, bedtime means bedtime, etc.

"Life favors the risk taker."
EVASION

Rules in our house are basically common sense. We put it to the Skids this way so they would understand ( my SS is 9 and SD is 11 )

Treat others as you would have them treat you: If they don't want to be treated in a mean manner and treated nicely, they have to be the same way to everyone.

I asked my Skids once " if I made a mess, would you guys like to clean up after me all the time? of course their response was " NO" and I said " Ok..that means I don't like to clean up after you either..so if you leave a mess for me to clean up..i'll make a mess for you guys to clean up" - they pick up after themselves.

My SD has a habit of snooping through my things. SO I did it to her once and she didnt like it. I reminded her of the time I caught her going through my things " I said if you dont like it done to you, dont do it to others"/

If they get smart mouthed...grounded. No video games, no going out with friends..nothing. These tactics work in our house hold..it may not work for everyone.

Purpleflower