So, I came right out and asked..."do you miss BM?"
Hi all. I have been dealing with a lot of in-law drama as of late, and it's driving me crazy! When we all get together the conversations usually steer in the direction of BM and after so many years of it, I'm tired of talking about her! Now, my DH has got a bit better about doing this somewhat, and I do understand between he and I the topic is going to come up, I deal with that, but his family is getting pretty stupid about it. They know it's a tense subject for me as I have dropped hints and remarks lately, I think I posted about that already, but yesterday pissed me off! BM was brought up again, once by my DH telling me that my MIL was going to send the skids her party favor from the wedding we just went to-(it was a young couple, the favor was little shot glasses w/ a skull&crossbones& their names and date of the wedding on them) they are kinda cute, for adults, and I don't know why MIL wants to send some to the skids (16&171/2) especially sense BM has had MAJOR issues w/ alcohol. DH thought it was funny because he thinks it will piss off BM. I'm thinking, why poke the bear, leave her alone. Why is it so funny now to piss her off (if that even happens) I really hate BM, but she has not bothered us, so why bother her. I don't think that is MIL's main idea, I just think that MIL is NOT thinking! Then yesterday, my FIL, true to form was talking about BM, not in a good way or anything, but still, going on about her. Then before he left, and mind you, this is how stupid it can get, he is trying to open the gate to our yard, and it sticks a little, and he says to DH "do you call the gate ____"(BM's name.) !! WTF? DH says he said it as a joke, cause it's always a pain to open, and I laughed and said "well, that's nothing like her now is it!!" then I say to FIL, "what is it about BM , you all miss her or something?" All 3 of them looked at me dumbstruck, FIL says no, and I say to DH that BM would be so impressed at how much lip service she gets from them, and I said to MIL, " I think they both miss her!" (meaning DH and FIL !) She did not say anything but, could not wait to hop in the truck and leave. She was upset by what FIL said, but did not stop him much. I know what I said sounds immature, but that is what I'm dealing with here. I told DH that if this is how it's going to be , then he's going to have to put up with nasty comments from me! I have had it w/ his family. His sister treats me weird lately,(it would take another post for all that crap) DH says she is just stuck up, and jeliouse of me, why, I have no idea, and I don't care, but the amount of ass kissing she gets from DH makes me sick too! This is the first time I have been that direct with my in-laws, and hopefully they will not want a repeat of it. thanks for letting me rant! 
- Chele's blog
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Consequences
When I was younger I used to be so sweet and try to adapt to others because I had been told the only person I could change was myself, but things started to get better for me when I was my real self, and other had to adapt to me! not that I am bossy or anything, no really!
But I think it will help if they know that every time they bring up BM you will say something back! maybe it is just a bad habit they fell into, and now they need a reminder that that was then, and now you are the head BM in charge!
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Age cannot wither her, nor custom stale
Her infinite variety.
William Shakespeare, "Antony and Cleopatra", Act 2 scene 2my MIL still has some
my MIL still has some pictures of my husband with Flicka. All I have to say is that the first chance I get next time I'm at her house is that those pictures will be destroyed in a mysterious "accident". MIL insists on showing old pictures (I hate looking at old pictures of people I don't know) so my husband and I have told her that I don't want to see anymore old pictures. What was her response you may ask? "you know, that was ___ years ago." sorry, but screw you grandma I don't want to see it!
Steve.... UGH!!
I'm sorry, but I had to post today, when I wasn't even going to. You're MIL is a B*TCH!!! I don't know how some of these people get through in the world, or WHY they even think it's okay to be so mean.
I think that Chelle's in-laws are just being "ignorant" to some extent. I think in their own weird way, they are actually trying to do the opposite of what they are accomplishing. I think that, in their minds, they are making fun of, and denegrading BM, by talking about her the way they do. I guess, with the intended effect of making Chelle feel "better"? I don't know it's a guess. But I don't think they are malicious.
Your MIL on the other hand... I get it. I get that they are Catholic and don't understand divorce. Can I ask... are they Italian too ? Just curious because of all the in-laws over here. BM and DH families are all full-on Italians!! I'm basically a Mutt!! My dad is French Canadian and my mom is Russian and Hungarian descent. So I don't get some of the way the other in-laws say and do things. For example, when my husband and I moved in together, after dating for 1 year... my future MIL said at a family dinner table that another girl and I were "boutons"!! EEEk!! I laughed! It's basically calling us sluts for living with our boyfriends, who were her sons!! But the poor other girl started crying right at the dinner table. I felt so bad for her!!
So... back to my point!!.... I just think that your Mommy-O (gag) was MEAN when she said you couldn't call her that. She's lucky that you are nice enough to call her Mrs. O, instead of "Hey You" or nothing or Big "O" as an outside joke just to get under her skin!!!
Anyway, I just wanted to say sorry about that... I think it probably must have hurt, and that sucks!
*** A rainbow just threw up on me... and now I'm sh*tting glitter! ***
Don't you
hate it when the In-Laws have pictures of the ex all over the house? Despite having loving and affectionate in-laws (mine really could not be more awesome, unless they took down all the damn pictures of course) I still find it cringe-worthy that there are pictures of Psycho all over their house. There are now also pictures of me all over their house too, which is somewhat mollifying, but I always have the urge to scream whenever I walk past the same old picture of Psycho looking like the fat, crooked-teeth cat that caught the canary in these ridiculous family pictures of her and the extended family. I realize that she gave birth to two of their beloved grandkids and therefore was a part of their family, technically for many years, but it still enrages me to see just how many pictures there are everywhere. It's like any time they pulled out a camera, she ran over and posed. I think that the makers of Sharpie pens could make a very successful commercial aimed at step-parents and "second-spouses" where the young, pretty step-mom draws mustaches and devil horns on every picture of her husband's ex in an in-laws house. We would all relate!
I like to think about it, but in reality, I just snap pictures of the pictures with my cell phone (when no one is looking, of course!) and send them to my sisters so we can laugh at how ugly she is. Not very mature, I admit, but better than getting caught Lucifer-izing the BM (Like they would have a long list of suspects with me in the house! Haha).
"A lot of people are afraid to tell the truth. That’s where toughness comes into play. Toughness isn’t being a bully, it’s having a backbone.” ~Robert Kiyosaki
HAHAHA drawing on the
HAHAHA drawing on the pictures would be great!!!
I like the topic box idea, LOL
And your right, I should not be a" hater", when it comes to BM, truthfully, I would like to just forget about her and let all the negative feelings pass......if the family would let me!!! This has been going on for the full 5 years I have been w/ DH. That's also why I did not like the idea of sending shot glasses to the skids, I guess I'm the only one who missed the humor. I think everyone should leave BM and the subject of her alone. I do plan to continue to speak up for myself. Thanks for the insight.
~ " I'm awful sorry you got pissed, just have to cross you off the list, of my true friends." PHISH~
thanks peace......
4 to 9 years puts me right in the middle of "doing my time", LOL :). BM was really bad, so it may take even longer for me. I would really like to just move on, and I feel that the family holds me back from doing so sometimes. Maybe with this new insight, and of course speaking my mind, will help all of us. ~ " I'm awful sorry you got pissed, just have to cross you off the list, of my true friends." PHISH~