I'm amazed at some of the things I have seen/heard/with all the kids here this summer. Even from my DH. We do get along very well, and we share the same opinion about BM and even the skids most of the time, but, I'm amazed at how blind DH can be to some things with skids. They are his kids so of course he holds them on a higher level, as to be expected. He has so much love for them, but in reality I think they treat him like crap. SS especially. We had a few things come up, like SS being in a bad mood while he was here, after speaking to his mom, it got worse, his mood swings kill me, and saying he could not wait to go home. DH had him help out at his work with him,as a way to spend time with him, and to show him what a real job is all about, as SS wants to work this year, he will be 16 in Nov., and SS got paid well for it, but he told my daughter just how "gay" it was working there, and he did not like it.! Also while playing a game with my son, SS was cheating in the game and my son called him out on it, and SS told him,"I was not cheating, I was lying, thats way different, not the same thing." Yeah, o.k. :? SS has also told us that SD, who is 17, but acts very, very young for her age, due to her disabilities, and her upbringing with BM...well SS says that he and BM believe that SD is gay! I asked him why they both thought that, and he said his mom thinks she is because she has no intrest in boys or sex yet, and stares at other girls. I was horrified, not over the gay thing, if she really was that would be ok, we love her for all that she is, but the reason she does not like boys is partly due to her mothers comments and views on men (that she seems to forget) and the fact that she does not have the maturity to even think about relationships like that, and may never have that! Her disibilities get in the way. SD has told me that she does not want to ever have sex, the thought of it scares her, and she wants no boyfriends, as she sees men as bad, and heart breakers(nice job mom!) SD gets very upset when SS calles her a lesbian. This is a child who has no real concept of what that even really is about. But BM tells everyone now that her daughter is gay. Just some more drama for her attention whore seeking ass!
He also told my daughter that BM was planning to send him up here on a one way ticket(would not have let that happen) and that she sent him up here just to get rid of him( this is what BM said to him I guess) He tells my daughter all this, but does not say anything to us/DH, and praises BM every chance he could get. I told DH this the other day, and he felt bad of course, but I'm coming to the realization that SS is becoming as sick as BM. Another thing I have noticed is that my DH is "snappy" with my kids, but not with his. He was down right rude to them on more that one occasion, and that in turn caused a fight with us, but I don't care, I will stick up for my kids, especially when they don't deserve to be barked at!! I told DH I will not tolerate that, they are my kids, I will disipline them, he can save the barking and bad additude for his own kids, who really seem to need it. Yesterday, DH and I talked about this and he said that my kids, my 11 yr. old son especially remind him of my Ex, (who btw, he never has to deal, speak, or see at all.) and he sometimes has a hard time with it.....to in turn I said to him," how do you think I feel "hanging out" with BM while your kids are with us, it's like she is the one who is here,not them, and it is in BOTH of your kids! I still bite my lip and treat them with respect and love BECAUSE THEY ARE KIDS". after I said that, he got it. He realized what he had done. I hope he keeps it in mind when my kids come again in March, and from then on. I will not put up with anything different. I know it's a common thing to happen in blended families, but cussing out my kids for that reason....NOT! I don't know when we will see the skids again, as both of them said they hated flying, and would not do it again, but after seeing them this time, my kids don't want to see them anymore. That was sad to hear, they told me it was because of the way they act and their additude towards DH. (DH should have heard that one, my kids actually care about his feelings) They were glad that the skids went home before they did, we had 3 nice days together after the skids left, and then my kids went back to their dads.I was really surprised of this outcome, that my kids could care less if they saw their step brother or sister again. I have learned that my time with my kids will be exactly that, my/our time together, and I will not over extend myself again. When BM called out of the blue, and sent the kids up here on her dime, I could not say no, it had been 2 years sense we saw them in person,and it was important to DH to see them, but now that this is done, I will not get ambushed like that. So, I'm done ranting, LOL, and plan to enjoy the rest of the summer. My son(2 1/2 yr. old with autism) has started talking, my kids really got him going while they were here, and taught him so much. Now he can say so many words, and new ones keep coming out. His teachers are impressed, that in 8 weeks ,my kids taught him to speak! He says "ma-ma" a lot now, it is music to my ears.