Apparently it's 25% to 75% for parenting...
FH and I got into a conversation the other night and he tells me that it's a 25% to 75% split between us... I was and am somewhat thinking he is thinking that for OUR relationship but I made it very clear that our relationship is 50/50....period! Then he seemed to change the tune towards his kids and said that they are his kids and that all decisions are his in the long run. Ok...fine...make your point but stick to it! So I feel if I only have a 25% role then I should only do 25% of their laundry, pick up after their dirty asses 25%, watch after them 25% when he's out drinking with his buddies after work and not telling me where he is, 25% of trucking his kids around, 25% of having to go to his kids sporting or school events, 25% of helping his kids with homework, 25% of cooking them dinner or 25% of making his kid's lunches, driving his kids 25% of the way to school when he's never there, 25% of being there when they come from school. Ok yes, they are HIS kids but if he wants me in his life and help take care of his kids and house then I feel I deserve 50% of every decision...especially in OUR home! I'm very resentful right now and the s*it is going to hit the fan when the skids go to their BM's house on Tuesday....and I just have to say...I'm counting down the days...mostly for the skids to be out of the house for a week!
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Had to laugh (not at you)...at my hubby
I had forgotten about the conversation my hubby had with me a few years ago...was sooo similar to your blog. Just to show him I stopped doing for him..skids were really young so I couldn't do it to them. No more of his laundry...no more breakfast, lunch or dinner for him (that was the best). I know it sounds petty but he was a good sport. OMG totally forgot I even only made half of the bed...hahaha. He and I are both really stubborn so he wouldnt give in and neither would I so it went on for almost a week before he finally yelled "okay I get it, you win". We had a nice long conversation and little by little things changed. It wasn't easy and it didnt all happen overnight...I really cant remember the day it everything changed but now we make all decisions regarding all our kids together. Good luck.
I agree
You two need to be partners 100% of the time. 50/50 doesn't cut it.
Look, you are the other adult in the home, and should be respected as such. Period.
"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: It goes on." ~Robert Frost
So Manda....
Are you also on ivillage.. which I doubt... but did you know they stole your post and started a thread for debate? Thought I would tell you so might want to go check it out.... I've lurked around ivillage before, like Barbie said on another post, to perhaps change my perspective on things but all the drama yesterday got me lurking big time and read it right after I just read it here....
Wasn't me! And I didn't
Wasn't me! And I didn't post in that thread, either.
oopsie daisy is having a
oopsie daisy is having a real ball over there with someones post. I thought disillsioned was the sole target to teach her a lesson??? yes i am only human I checked out the i village boards.
Wasn't me--Lovemyekids stole
Wasn't me--Lovemyekids stole it. I haven't even posted in the thread.
wasn't saying it was you but
wasn't saying it was you but it is disturbing knowing anyone can post what we say when alot of the time it is venting as we would never really say these things to our skids or SO.
well...you were saying it
well...you were saying it was me, actually. But whatevs.
As to the other, is this really the first time you've ever thought of that? I mean, it's the internet. A totally open site on the internet. You put it out there for anyone to see; you have to be prepared for anyone to see it....
If you are oopsie daisy yes
If you are oopsie daisy yes you did not only post about disill. you posted other comments on the same thread other people on here wrote.
Of course I know anyone can read this however to have something I wrote on here posted on another site to me is bullshit.
If you would like to post something I wrote instead of being sneaky about it why not ask?
Or why would you have to take the post and print it why not start a discussion on the topic without using someones post?
What diss did was not right and you gave it back to her but now why would you or anyone on your site randomly pick people who didn't do anything to you and are just trying to vent their feelings to people who may understand.
how long will this pissing war go on
who gets the last word.
So no I know what I write isnot completely safe but If I don't post it on your forum it isnot up to you or anyone else to put it there.
I
I AM Oopsie_Daisies and no, I have not posted in the 25/75 thread over at iVillage. Nor have I C&P'd anything from this thread over to there.
I stole Disillusioned's "8 yo tramp in training" thread for the sole reason of discrediting "happySM" over there. I've never denied it. I stated it boldly and happily. I don't regret it. I think it was a well deserved response to her trolling.
However, I also, at the request of the administration here, took the post down today.
And I have not participated in either of the 2 threads today that were either stolen from or referencing Step Talk.
good to hear
good to hear
(No subject)
No, wicked...didn't realize
No, wicked...didn't realize my blog on this site made it over to ivillage...interesting. I just searched over there and couldn't find my copied blog...can you please do me a favor and send me a copy of the site and blog entry over there? I'd really like to first, see who ripped off my blog here and second, what the ivillage women had to say.
I can't get to it
from work...
but it's in the SM/BIO debate forum titled SM decisions in their home....
I am sure many more will be hijacked
It will be an all out war.
Nor me
since my id over there was mentioned 3 times here.
Hijack away...but do have the common courtesy to ask first
If that's what people feel they need to do to gain some perspective than hijack away...but don't be a sneaky wench about it. Come to me(or whomever) and say, "hey barbie...you mind if I borrow your blog entry from such and such a day to start some valid discussion at the site I'm on and get more opinions than what I saw on steptalk??" Don't be a p**sy and just steal the stuff verbatim without asking... Although I do think it's ok to use something as an example as long as it isn't a "cut n paste" job and no names or screennames are mentioned. but if you do a direct cut n paste...have the courage to make sure it's ok with the creator first.
Work out your own salvation. Do not depend on others. ~Buddha
or shout out ids
Then hung over people like me that are creating a new id....as I would rather protect myself in my personal life on this site...then responds in the newly created ID, gives it up.
You'll note that I didn't
You'll note that I didn't out the new id....
not hard to find the new ones either
but whatever i think or feel doesn't need to cause the ole man any more pain than what he has went thru. It isn't to protect me as BF knows how I feel. But I do not ever come between his and his kids time together or their relationship. I could have stopped them coming long ago, but that isn't in the best interest of anyone. So I post on a message board.
My old ID would have been very easy to find anyway as it is my pup's name. I thought I had deleted all of my blogs and then realized,too late, I had missed one.
Oh cruella honey this post is exactly why I love ya babe!
"My DH learned if he wants my help then I am a full partner and BM has NO say in my home. I am the mother in my home. Ohhhhh DH has to work on weekends. I made him pay for a sitter OUTSIDE of the home. Ole Cruella doesn't play that game"
Those few lines just make me smile!
Work out your own salvation. Do not depend on others. ~Buddha
I love it cruella! I've
I love it cruella! I've actually gotten to that point this weekend...that comment DH made has really been bugging me so I've taken it to heart and have been giving the 25% that he was talking about. I did 25% of the laundry this weekend...he noticed I wasn't keeping up on it so he did the other 75%...I did 25% of the cooking compared to what I usually do...I made sure that I was home about 75% less as I'm usually am on our weekends....I think he noticed that...I let the skids fight and argue for about 75% of the time this afternoon before I said anything and it just so happened that FH came home just as I said something to the skids and SS was in tears...so I let FH take care of that 75% of that fight... I actually took another posters advice and didn't make FH's side of the bed today...that's his 75%.
My DH does 100% of the care
My DH does 100% of the care when his kids are here. Cooking, laundry, showering, hair brushing, even stripping the beds and washing the sheets after they have gone. He says it's his only chance to parent his kids so he wants to do it. Fine by me.
When it comes to decisions that effect me, we each have a 50/50 say. 'Our' house, 'our' income, 'our' savings, 'our' time all mean it's 'our' decision.
BM has no say in my home. Our house also equals our rules.