does BM consult you before she cuts SD's hair? Right-O.

SD wanted to get her hair cut when she was with me once. I should have just done it but instead I had her call the Beast Bitch and of course the woman threw a freaking hissy fit. Two months later SDs hair is so jacked she can't even pull it up in a pony tail anymore.

Why is it that BM's think they can dictate when or if their kids get hair cuts if they are with their father? Like I said above, she doesn't ask does she? No, so why should DH have to "Ask Permission" to cut his childs hair? Ughh. Now you got me started.

~all you need is Faith, Trust, and a little bit of Pixie Dust...and sometimes a machine gun~

The most important question is... How does SD like her haircut?

IF BM decides to throw a fit or send you a nasty email... ask her what kind of message she is sending to her daughter? About something that grows back? Hair should be seen as an accessory and not as the be all end all of this little girl's self esteem. Tell BM to stick that in her pipe and smoke it!!

every single freakin time the sd's would visit (prior to living with us). Mostly it was always b/c EVERY summer (I kid you not!) they came to us with lice so bad that all you could do was cut their hair. Bm didn't care they had lice. As a matter of fact, I'm pretty sure she would find someway to get them infested just before they came to us so I would have to spend the summer getting rid of it all. Those girls had waaay more treatments than they ever should have. One summer I was fed up and had SIL cut it "boy" short. Boy BM was fired up. I just told her. "Look ya skank, dont send them with lice and we wont cut it"! Idiot!

This is coming from someone though, who just took her SD to get pink streaks done throughout her hair and her whole bottom layer of hair is bright pink!! SD was soo happy! I haven't seen a smile like that on her face in a long time!! Whatever. She's a teenager and it's a phase.

BM knew better than to give us a hard time. She has done enough damage to the girl's self esteem with her dumb little comments and we hae already straightened her out.

Hair will not make SD a better or worse person. !! But it can make her a little more self confident if SHE likes the way she looks!!

Yeah, I just posted my long ass rant about SD8 with the 3 last paragraphs all about the hair issue! It completely sucks. There's no reason why we can't just take SD8 to have her hair cut without BM's approval, however, SD8 would probably not cooperate. She went from wanting her hair cut to agreeing with BM that she wanted to keep it long. And at almost 9-years-old we can't really force her to go along with having it cut....can we?!

We've had her hair cut without BM's permission a few times in the past. BM wasn't happy, but oh well. BM never asks for permission before she does things to SD8's hair (just like you said, Jen). BM has dyed it bright colors, at my husband's dismay. BM has attempted to do dreads (when SD was like 4!), which was basically a huge knot of hair on the back of her head. My husband saw that & had a fit! BM recently tried to talk SD8 into trying dreads again, to which my husband vehemently told SD8 "NO!". The worst was about 2 years ago when BM cut SD8's hair. OMG!!! She looked like Joe Dirt!!! And I am not kidding! The funny part of that is that BM had the same haircut...trying to make SD8 her "mini me". I'm dying here just remembering how hilarious they both looked! The only sucky part was taking SD8 places & being completely embarrassed. Sometimes I wish she could wear a shirt that says "My mom did this to me. The woman I'm with now is my STEPmom.". lol.

My BD13 lives with her father- for the time being- but just out of respect for the other parent and input, he would call me when she wanted to get a hair cut or color job, he will consult with me first. Asking what I thought of a certain style or color.

cut SD's hair....BM was growing it to donate to cancer patients....great idea in theory if u ACTUALLY do it....SD cried and cried while other kids got haircuts but she couldn't.....then BM finally cut it...ummm...and threw away the ponytail....so I say...do what u want to do if u have a BM who is a disgusting human being....if u have one who actually gives a rats ass about her kids, then by all means consult her....I learned the hard way....

"You can catch more flies with honey than you can with vinegar"

hair appts for SDs when they're with me so I will take them.... (and pay for them of course!) This has been going on for years and I got tired of it.... So last time we had an appt I took them and let SD10 get the CUTEST little bob cut you've ever seen... it was adorable!! BM didn't want her to cut it that short but SD10 wanted it and I thought sucks to be her, she should have taken them! SD14 had an appt for highlights and she really really wanted some red and blonde streaks so again... why the hell not? It's just hair for pete's sake! It looked really really pretty but BM had a coronary! :evil: I figure I've probably fixed it so that I never have to take them again.

Of course I've never had to deal with the BM telling me what I could and couldn't do but if the child was in my care, and he needed a hair cut, he would get one. If she wanted it cut differently, she should get to it before me }:)

Same with my BS. If I don't like how my EH cuts his hair, I better get it cut before he gets a hold of him

SD wanted her haircut soooo bad. She too had long straight very thin fine hair. SD would ask her "mom" to cut her hair but was always told "only pretty girls have long hair"...at the time I had cut my hair really short so we were sure the comments were directed towards me. The wicked witch had to leave the state for some family emergency and SD was left with us for a few weeks during that time SD called to get permission because she was under so much stress from dealing with home stuff she was agreeing to everything so we went ahead and cut SD hair. It was sooo cute and was manageable by SD and she loved it! A week later the wicked witch came back and OMG sooo much drama which led to me getting a second restraining order. Wicked witch totally put SD down constantly called her ugly and all other kinds of names.

A few weeks later they went to court and wouldn't you know it she had a stipulation written into the new order to state "neither parent will alter the appearance of either child without the prior WRITTEN consent of the other parent. APPEARANCE will be defined as piercings, tattoos (permanent/temporary), hair color, hair style, hair cut"

DH did cut SD hair since that court order and she called her attorney funny thing was she was told at the time of the order her hair was short therefore DH would only need written permission to change SD hairstyle from the way it was at the time of the order. But it didn't mean she stopped putting her daughter down or calling her ugly. SD loves her hair and has even let me know it's almost time to get her hair trimmed.

Funny thing has happened since SD haircuts...wicked witch has now started cutting SS hair...no she has no training in doing this...she is a secretary at a petroleum company by no means in the arena of haircutting. We know she is doing this to get under the skin of DH but he doesn't fight with her about it. We try to let it grow out and take him to get a professional hair cut but each time it starts to grow out even a little she gives him another home haircut. Eventually SS will speak up like SD finally did and the home haircuts will stop but until then poor baby goes to school with home haircuts that look so awful.

Its sad that what I'm about to say is a true story. Its so ridiculous, it should be a lie, but I swear its not.
My FH and the father of BW's little girl kept on her to get the kids haircuts last summer while she had them.
Well, she got their haircut alright.....
She did it herself! (If you've read my blogs, you'll know this bat shit crazy bitch is LEGALLY BLIND!)
FH got a call from BW's baby daddy in an outrage (he picked up BW's BD before FH got SS8 the day of pick up)...Needless to say, the kids got their hair cut again that day...
What a dumb bitch. She can't see, but she thinks she can cut hair.
God I hope both of her kids don't end up as stupid as her.

he couldn't stand his son having hair to his shoulders and over his eyes. BM does tings all the time concerning the kid without consulting him so why should he pay her the any respect by asking her first. He looked like a 9 year old loser pot smoker and DH had enough. he flat out told the kid, I can take you to the barber and have it cut or I can shave your head myself....those are your two opions, you pick one. And SS picked the barber and it got cut. Period. And he looked so cute and handsome and cleancut afterwards not like some dropout pothead at the age of 9.

Sadly, SS12 and SD6 both have BM nasty frizz ridden hair genes. I have actually "trained" SD's hair to be less frizzy and more managable just by getting her into a conditioning/brushing habit (BM won't wash/brush SD's hair, which is why I had to teach her). SS12, on the other hand, has his mom's mentality, "people should like me for who I am, not what I look like". Somebody on here one time used the term BoBo the Clown... that would be SS12's hair. She'd let him go MONTHS with out a cut, he'd go at least a week without washing/brushing it. Finally I made DH in charge of keeping it cut. In fact, he refused to come down for a few weeks b/c he didn't want to get it cut. I know BM said something along the lines of, "I like your hair. Don't you like your hair? Who cares what other people think. You look fine."
I finally had to tell him his hair looks like filthy crap to get him to understand. He starts crying and said, "I hate my hair and it looks like S--T. I don't like it this way." He then let us take him to get it cut. Now, why on earth would any kid not like their hair but not want to change it? My guess is BM b/c SHE likes it and SHE approves of it.
When I first came into the picture BM would be upset if we sent back SD6 with her hair done in a braid, or pigtails... my guess is somebody said she looked cute and since BM doesn't do anything with the skids hair she'll be damned if I get the credit.
DH said when they were married he tried to get her to do something different with her hair other than the "hippie crunchy" look she was going for but she didn't change.. and she still hasn't!

"I aint no Carol Brady"

by my sister, who is a hairdresser (and a GOOD ONE!)...My daughter has pretty thin hair, and it's me who get's up and has to brush that stringy mess every morning before school etc. and he asked me not too cut it short...(Since she was very small, I have always kept it short, cute little bob, stacked in the back, whatever...) I was not very happy, but I didn't end up cutting it. I mean he doesn't have to brush the mess every day...only every other weekend... anyway, just thought i would share my hair cutting story...

Oh and one time, before my daughters first haircut even, my stepmom chopped her bangs off into this hideous, above the eyebrows "look". I was furious.

I would never. At the moment I am on good terms with my SDs BM. But even when I wasn't I never did this evern know SD has asked me to take her for a hair cut. BM would tell SD how cute the hair cut was and then when SD goes to bed she would call, text and write us NASTY HARRASSING things. To me, it is not worth it.