Does anybody ever feel unappreciated ??
So I have 2 bio girls (3,4) & Bf has 1, sd is 5.
When we pick up SD from BM she hops in and doesn't even say hi to me it's all about daddy.
When any of the girls ask for something ( milk, pretzels, apple ) very rarely I say no.
She tells everybody that I'm not her real mom I'm her step mom and my girls are not her real sisters. Like random ppl.
On Thursdays and Fridays I go pick her up from daycare. I work til 5 but I still get out of work and go waste 30-45 min in line to pick her up.
I just feel unappreciated, is it odd to expect a thank you from BF for picking her up??
Why can't she just acknowledge that I'm there? Is it
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She's 5 and it's time for BF
She's 5 and it's time for BF to teach her some manners. Ignoring you is not ok. This might be something she has been taught by BM.
I'm guessing she has also been taught by the BM to say the things she says about you being her step mom and your girls not being her real sisters. At 5, I'm sure she knows that's true but to go around saying it to random people is weird.
Your BF doesn't even thank you? See how appreciative he gets when you stop doing it.
I was actually thinking about
I was actually thinking about telling him I can't do it this week.
Re SD-It's not about you so
Re SD-It's not about you so try not to take it personally. I don't know how long you and bf have been together but SD probably feels very unsure about the situation and confused about how she should behave with you. God knows as a stepmum it took me years to understand my role with regard to my stepchildren! She feels safe with Daddy and on familiar ground which is why she focusses on him when she gets into the car, she may also be a bit shy when she sees you at first. Her reiteration of facts to strangers is her trying to grasp what's going on, I doubt she does it as a deliberate snub. It's probably unrealistic to expect SD to appreciate you, the fact is that she didn't ask for her dad to have a girlfriend, and lets face it most children that age tend to take the things that are done for them for granted, but you should DEFINITELY expect appreciation and gratitude and reciprocal support from your BF. If he doesn't give you that when you go to the time and effort to collect his daughter then you are on the highway to being taken for granted. So many of these Dads just assume that we are only to happy to start 'mothering' and running around after their children. It's best to nicely set expectations early on!
We ve been together 2 yrs and
We ve been together 2 yrs and SD calls me mom. She started doing it on her own but I don't want to b called mom by her :/
Yea u r right it is very unrealistic but I do want to be respected, my kids r younger than her and they don't act like that w BF
lower your expectations SM
lower your expectations SM she is only 5.
when she doesnt say hello to her, say it first. If she does not respond stop her from what she is doing and make her make eye contact with you and say; Mary in this family we say hello to each other when we havent seen each other or if someone says hello. so let's try again: Hi Mary how are you? now it's your turn.
or if he is over excited about seeing Daddy when she gets in the car that is normal but then your DH needs to slow her down. Hi honey Im glad to see you to but before you start talking my ear off I think you forgot to say hello to SM.
she is young, correct her!!!
Ok yea I agree I will try
Ok yea I agree I will try that next time I think that's a good way to bring the point across w o being rude
I'm sure like in my case,
I'm sure like in my case, Swamp told the skids to not speak to me or ask anything of me. They could not say hi to me when she was around, they couldn't hug, say I love you in our own home. Because they said Swamp told them not too.
If BM is PASing, it's really tough.