Thanks to everyone that shared their thoughts on my earlier post.  It was so helpful.  I had a short conversation with H about it and basically told him that I didn't see how it would feasibly work if we moved far from where we are now, that BM would never agree to SD to go to school where we are looking to move, and that he had no chance of getting primary custody of SD based on school ratings.  He said he didn't think he would get primary custody of SD due to the schools (I swear he had said that before, but I'm glad he's being realistic about it) but that he also didn't want to limit our possibilities. 

I suggested making an appointment with a lawyer for a consultation about what we are looking at and he agreed to do that.  I'm hoping the lawyer is a good and honest one, and will not just tell him what he wants to hear.  

My one concern is that we find a place closer to where we are now, and then BM manages to successfully PAS SD and we will be stuck here.  But our plans are still a bit away, so a lot could change between now and then.  So we will see.