BM's DH threatened my DH again ...
Back when DH and I decided to move in together in 2010 his Ex threatened to kill him over some property they had yet to resolve, despite the fact they'd been divorced for years.
Her hubby had threatened to kill my now DH a few months before that when BM got up in his face over the property and he called her a liar. Not nice on his part, but in this case true.
Almost a year to the date of that incident he again threatened my hubby, and we reported it to the police as a file, so that if anything DID come of it they would know who to look for.
This weekend, after allowing BM to take SS9 for a few hours for a visit on OUR weekend, where we DROVE to meet her, when we met up to do the exchange she began harping about his hair, which she has been fiercely against US cutting in our town because it's her thing. She wanted his hair cut before their upcoming trip to Disney and wanted to take him out of school a day early (she lives about 4 hours away). DH replied no, that he had agreed to Disney (mostly because she made it clear that she'd ensure SS9 knew it was us that said he couldn't go, leaving out that she booked the trip knowing full well he was in school those 6 days, but wanted to go because the little kids love halloween) , but that she'd already taken 6 days of school, when the agreement had originally been 5 missed school days at MOST.
Her hubby started spouting that it was only a day and SS9 was doing well enough to miss school for one extra day. DH said no, it was 7 days if they had their way, and that we'd be the one working our butts off to keep his grades up before and after. He said BM should have planned it better (like say during SS9's week off school and maybe a day or two before) to which her hubby called DH a fat fuck, told him to fuck off and that he'd kick his ass. ALL IN FRONT OF SS9!!! Remarkably DH held it together and didn't swear or threaten back, which was more self restraint than I might have had.
The next day BM called and told us that the kid she had taken in for a friend who was undergoing marital issues had been suspended for drug possession. He shares a room with SS9 and we have no way of knowing how much unsupervised time they have together. She said it "wasn't a big deal" because he would be going back to his mom's while they were on their trip and "might not be coming back."
I suggested DH report the issue to the police, but he doesn't want to do something that will adversely effect SS9 ...
thoughts?
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Comments
I would certainly tell BM to
I would certainly tell BM to smarten her act up and get her pitbull DH to keep his trap shut before he talked himself into jail.
And certainly there is NOTHING wrong with telling SS that these trips MUST be planned around vacation and school breaks. A day extra is not a big deal. But it is important that parents make sure their children get the education they need and are in school as required by the law. A trip to Disney is likely to be seen as an unexplained absence.
As for the kid sharing a room with SS.... this needs to be reported to CPS. It is not a family member and there is no need for SS to shared a room with a budding career criminal.
Bullies will back down when confronted.
I would report it. What would
I would report it.
What would be worse? Placating the BM and her DH by not saying anything?
Or teaching the SS it's okay to threaten people if it gets you what you want?
There have got to be consequences for poor choices and it's better if he learns this example by seeing it in action.
One of the biggest issues I have seen on here is fear of holding people accountable for their bad actions because of how it "might" affect the skids.
Ask your DH what he would do if this were anyone else? Would he call the police or blow it off?
^^^Best advice. I totally
^^^Best advice. I totally second this.
Not to mention threatening to kill someone is not taken lightly.
We haven't recorded it using
We haven't recorded it using audio video yet, but we take notes after each questionable meeting
We have records dating back years (since I came into the picture) of detailed conversations, as well as FB conversations, text messages you name it. Anything that shows our records are accurate we have it documented.