A few things that I might suggest to you DH 

for a first discussion... I think it depends on the severity of his poor driving.  If we are talking low to medium bad... not over 10 mph over.. etc. (not sure exactly what is being tracked)... maybe a talking to.. with warning of consequences.. like losing any non-work access (like they do to drunk drivers..lol) or some other penalty  (loss of allowance.. loss of other priviledges etc...).

If the severity of this first offense is super bad though.. I might be more inclined to be hardcore and give a consequence NOW with threat of losing insurance coverage (and consequently use of car).

The kid needs to understand that the car is a priviledge and failure to drive per your standards will mean you ultimately will feel uncomfortable with the risk of him being on the policy.. so if his mom won't cover him.. and he can't secure his own ins as a minor.. he will be out of the transportation business.. and perhaps if he is lucky he can pay someone to get him to work.. or he will not be able to work either.. and no allowance to make up for it.

Add in the convo that it's not just an issue with how your DH sees it.. this is the insurance company who will be liable to raise rates or cut coverage.. that the police will enforce fines and he will be on the hook and in the even he does get into an accident.. he could hurt or kill someone.  My DH has a friend who's mom has been paralyzed since age 19 because her DH was driving recklessly and they rolled the car.. how will he feel if he kills or maims a friend.. a child? Driving is just as deadly of a proposition as having a gun.

Insurance app. Does DH realize, that the insurance can view the app, and how his son drives can affect the total rate? Insurance companies sell the app by emphasizing that good driver's insurance may go down. But, the corollary applies, what goes down may go up. 

When my oldest got his car, our insurance agent advised us to title it in his name and have him get his own insurance. It was good advice as he had two (small) fender benders within the first two years. His insurance went up, not ours. 

My DH84 was like yours.  He had a strong belief in the power of his yelling at the kids.  Sigh.  They put up with him then did whatever.  I'm not someone who raises my voice. So when SD moved in and I had issues with her, I'd say, "If you x, then y" and I'd follow thru.  Pandemonium.  So, I disengaged and let DH handle "discipline", ie, more yelling.

He also had a big belief in the power of his "talks" but he was such a softie. He had the father role with my 2 BKs.  DDthen16 was notorious for late hours.  I would ground her and think "now she will learn".  But he would have one of his "talks" with her and next thing you knew, she'd be out the door.  Crazy times.  Lol.

Every time there's a talk between SS or DH, whether it's heartfelt or stern or yelling, everything gets back to "normal" the next day as nothing has ever happened. I sort of can understand why it is hard to put a consequence, I have a daughter of my own (and she's really sweet) and it could be hard for me to follow through consequence with her at times (because she's sweet XD).

I sound bad I know, with my DD the relationship is a give and take (she does this with everyone. not just with me - not saying she's perfect though, she definitely has issues here and there). With SS it is always a one-way relationship (everyone does things for him, end of story), no appreciations ever. Since I'm not his bio parent I can't seem to find positive things about SS (other than he's not a bad looking kid). And I feel pretty bad being unable to understand why DH still wants to do more for SS. I think we can only explain with parent nature.  

I want to disengage (from SS for-fking-ever), but I also want to be supportive (for DH). Clearly I have no solution for this...I can only say I completely feel you.

There is no way in cold hell I would put a 'tracking' anything on my car for insurance purposes. Eff that noise.  I don't care if it 'lowers' the rate.  And having that with a teen is a huge risk of your rates going up. Technology has it's good and bad- I find this on the 'bad' camp, same as tracking your kids every move via phones (or your spouses). 

Honestly those kind of 'technology advances' are super cringe to me.  He can't have insurance on his own- at his age he is going to make some mistakes- imagine if we all had that ish growing up- grrr....it's so totalitarian. Why I also don't own an 'Alexa' - it's bad enough my voice/things I type online get used for adds, etc. 

I'm very pro-privacy, even teens IMO deserve this to grow, make mistakes, learn independence. 

Look at it this way, if you didn't have tracking, you'd never know.  People need to just damn parent their kids- go drive WITH THEM so you can get of sense of their driving style, work on it together even, but then allow them some freedom to make mistakes in life (just like we all did, and we all grew up with our every  movement being tracked). 

This isn't SOLELY about he car but about your DH issue. I have a DH like this. No consequenses, no boundaries - I am lucky because both SDs were not breaking the law and don't do things to endanger others but they are both entitled teens with no drive to do much of anything other than go to school - which is good but no work, no responsibility, nada. They are going to have a hard time out in the real world when they get there.

1. I don't want to hear DH complain about crap with skids that could probably be fixed with consequences.

When my DH complains "Why didn't YSD to X or Y or Z?" Me: silence or "Ask her DH." (do not follow up).

2. It's a little about control, and I hate the feeling of having no control of this in my own house. I let him handle punishments and crap, but WHY is it so hard to listen to my opinion and implement it sometimes?

YES. I get this. However, if your SS is endangering YOUR insurance and YOU and DH can be responsible for liability if the crash is big enough I'd MYSELF give an ultimatum directly to DH and SS and if there's another dangerous speeding incident then KEYS ARE GONE. Do not allow yourself to be implicated or financially on the hook. Crystal clarity is needed.

3. WHY is it so freaking hard to put a consequence in place?? Just once, ever?? 

Because then DH "feels bad" because he's "being mean" or not "his friend" and what if he "never sees SS again?" 

4. I helped this kid get his job, and my friend who works with him gave him a reference.

You will not do this again and hope that you've discussed it with your friend since.

It's the rare kid for whom "stern talks" and yelling do any good beyond the very short term in the absence of other consequences.  I have a younger sister who is very sensitive and being yelled at tends to work better for her than for most, but kids know if there's no follow-through to the yelling, and they grow to ignore it.  Same for spanking, in my experience.   It's over quickly and just as quickly forgotten (I'm talking about spanking, not parents that beat their kids), so ineffective.

My DH, who I will admit is a crappy parent (although he plays FOTY on Fakebook and believes his own posts), yells at his kids, who are much younger than your SS.  They get upset in the short term, but repeat the same behaviors.  Frankly, the only impact I see is that their father's shine dims for them each time he yells.  I, on the other hand, deal out consequences, with my DH's blessing.  He won't do it himself, but he's more than willing to let me do it.  I send skids to their rooms, take away electronics, decline to take them shopping, take away privileges, etc.  It is MUCH more effective than DH's yelling, and the skids are much less likely to act up when I'm around.  Luckily the skids are pretty good kids, so we don't have many issues, but it sucks that these weak men can't properly discipline their children.  In my DH's case, I think it's pure laziness.  I don't think it's that he would feel bad or mean, because he backs up the consequences I impose and they know he will every time.

In your situation, with your insurance and your friend's reputation on the line, I would insist upon consequences, even if I had to deliver them.

Teenage boys have much higher insurance rates for a reason - they get in more accidents. And accidents often involve hurting other people. It is hard for me to understand a parent who knows his kid is driving like that and it not willing to impose imediate and severe consequences.

You might remind DH that if SS is involved in an accident where he is at fault, and the other driver comes after him financially, that DH is going to be responsible as the car is in his name and it is his kid who was driving. And the other side will come after any data that will prove SS was an unsafe driver and that DH should have known it. I know I'm not telling you anything you don't already know, this has to frustrating...

As a teen, I loved to race and beat the boys. Car culture was big then, and there were far fewer other people and vehicles around. Even so, there were times when my parents took my keys - I don't blame them.

But this? You can potentially be impacted, which gives you a right to draw some boundaries. Draw them with your H, and draw them with your SS. Separately. Sometimes, a step parent has to handle things because their partner is simply incapable, and IMO this qualifies.

Your SS is old enough to recognize when he's confronted by a superior, unyielding force. I'd just be straightforward. Explain his every move is moniored by you AND the insurance company, and tell him what the consequences will be if he doesn't control himself. Then I'd tell him "Look, we both know your dad is a pushover, but I'm not so don't test me on this." With your H, you need to twist his balls, threaten his wallet, and scare him a bit. Be that superior force and tell him that since he hasn't handled the issue, you are; and damned if you're going to be put in financial jeopardy. Emphasize that this affects you too, and that HE'LL be the one paying any additional costs. He may even be secretly relieved you played the bad cop.