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Moving

tlj44's picture

Submitted by tlj44 on Tue, 03/06/2007 - 11:19am

Finally, after 4 years of living in the house that my husband bought and shared with the ex, we are selling the house and looking for a new house! I am so happy to finally have my own again and get rid of the bad karma. My husband is looking forward to having something bigger and that is ours as well. We have done our best to include the kids,and be understanding and sympathetic, even taking them to see some of the houses. We are not moving them out of schools, the homes we have been considering are less then a mile from our current house. But my step-daughter is having some trouble. while i understand that she has lived there for a few years, she is being extremely selfish and spoiled about the move. Her atttitude is terrible. We have been more than understanding to her and i dont know what to do short of telling her to get over it.
aargh,,, we do so much for and we get the crap in return she does not do this crap to the mother just us!

Comments

Anne 8102's picture

Submitted by Anne 8102 on Tue, 03/06/2007 - 1:49pm

I think that as long as you are doing what you can to ease the transition - and you obviously are - then that's really all you can be expected to do. What does she think, that you will change your mind and stay put?! Including them, being sympathetic to how this transition will affect them, etc. is the way to go, but the bottom line is that the move WILL happen, it's an ADULT decision to make and, at some point, she really does just have to get over it. So I think that you have to do exactly what you're already doing by being understanding and sympathetic, keeping them in the loop, etc., but you also have to be firm that the decision is made and that everyone needs to accept that. And when you're all done with your moving, send me an email because we'll be moving next summer and I figure you can just come up and move me, while you're at it! Wink

~ Anne ~

Ladies and gentlemen, take my advice: Pull down your pants and slide on the ice! -M*A*S*H (Sidney Freedman to the OR staff on dealing with stress)

proud mom's picture

Submitted by proud mom on Tue, 03/06/2007 - 1:57pm

I am planning on moving with in the next few months also but one difference is my kids will be changing schools the oldest is not at all happy about it but I have explained to him he will be fine he makes friends easily and beleive it or not it won't kill him he is only 10. He has cried and whined about it a lot but I think he has relized that it is my decision not his. so I think he may even be getting a little excited as we look at more houses

dbsojo's picture

Submitted by dbsojo on Tue, 03/06/2007 - 3:55pm

I don't have any children of my own, and I know that sometimes I can be a bit callous when it comes to them (especially ones that I don't know), but telling her to get over it sounds like a good idea to me. I'm kind of a stickler when it comes to the amount of authority children have, or at least think they have. Anne put it very nicely, so I won't take the time to reiterate. Perhaps a better idea would be to have Dad tell her to get over it (as opposed to you), it may go a little smoother.
The bottom line: She needs to get over it. Period.

Little Jo's picture

Submitted by Little Jo on Tue, 03/06/2007 - 5:48pm

I give you credit!!!! I don't think I could have ever moved in the same house he shared with her. I guess it's a good thing darkness sucked his wallet so dry that after 15 years they where still living in apartments.

Anyway, I don't believe you mentioned how old your SD is. Maybe just re-enforcing the positives on moving.