It has been a while, I have been raising babies and picking up 2 BM's slack. 

I am raising 4 children in total. 2 are my SD's 11 and 9. DH has full primary custody of. BM does not exercise what time she gets with them, does not pay CS, and does not communicate with Dad on behalf of the kids, let alone pick up a phone just to say hey or check on her children. 

My Adopted SD is now 7, and my only Natural child just turned 4.... anywho.

I am navigating my own demons, I had a traumatic childhood myself... absent mother etc, so i find myself loving and nurturing these kids to the best of my ability and sometimes overcompensate I guess you could say but is love and compassion ever really to much?

Recently my ASD, had a family member pass away in the BM's side of family, none of the BM's family has stayed in contact with us for my daughter, but somehow they have been receiving pictures, and updates on my child. they also listed her in the family members obiturary. This family member did not keep in contact and we hadn't heard from any of them in over 3 years. They reached out to me via social media, asking was I upset that they put her name in the obituary and from then forward in coversation I found out they knew so much about my daughter as present as her last surgery and school accomplishments from just 4 months ago. 

I got to looking at contacts, mutuals and all of my husbands family has the close relatives on facebook!!!! I know I cannot go accusing one over the other but I am talking.. close as in Paternal Aunts, Grandfather, Grandmother!!!! I am so upset, hurt and emotional. I don't know, maybe it is because i have so much going on in my current journey... but I feel betrayed by the family, I also do not feel supported from my husband as he is always taking his families side over mine. 

I told him he should have set boundaries when I adopted our daughter 5 years ago, he should have told his family to not communicate with the BM's family when it came to my daughter. 

I do not keep details from my child, infact I've always been very forthcoming to her in ways she can understand based on her age.. She knows another woman carried her in her belly and that she has a hosts of siblings, and family members shes not met. 

but now I've got family members contacting wanting to know her, wanting to keep up to date with her, but also not wanting to acknowledge that their sister/daughter gave up their niece/granddaughter... they want to place the blame on my DH for me getting to adopt her... 

BM was into the party life, drugs etc... and before the adoption was finalized hadn't seen my daughter in nearly 2 years with a random text or message every 5 months or so "How is she?" nothing more nothing less

.... I feel like I am drowning with now way of escape/rescue.