I called DH this afternoon to discuss his plans for picking up the girls (SD9 at grandma's, SD5 and SD11 at BM's) and our weekend plans. He let me know he finally put his foot down with BM and absolutely will not be travelling an additional hour out of his way to pick up SD9 just b/c BM can't handle her.

Then he informs me that he talked to SD11 and found out that SD5 and SD11 are also at grandma's as of yesterday. It is hard to extract information from SD11, but this is odd. First of all, this means that SD11 did not go to school today, and possibly yesterday. Second, grandma works, so who is taking care of them? Lastly, SD11 did mention that BM and the nanny had a "fight" and after the "fight" is when BM drove the kids to grandma's. No other details were given and SD11 had to go.

I know BM has some mental issues and is showing signs of alcoholism, but now DH and I are seriously worried about the welfare of the kids. I reminded him that he needs to be documenting all of her craziness.

I know he is struggling with what his next step should be. He is working with a lawyer to modify the custody agreement but at the same time is worried about how I will be affected if we did get the steps full time. He told me he doesn't want me to leave him because they are set in their ways and hard to handle but at the same time I don't want to be the reason that he doesn't push for them. To his credit, though, I definitely do get pushed to the edge when they are with us and a couple times have left to go stay with friends or my mom. He thought he had at least a couple of years for us to be married and get settled with our baby and then would try for custody but everyday it looks more and more like living with BM is not in the steps' best interest.

Prior to this school year, BM lived with her parents (she is 36). Although grandma and grandpa spoiled the steps, they were always taken care of. She moved on her own this school year and has already given SD9 back to her mother and now this. The kids are definitely stressful and a handful, but they really do need stability in their lives.