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Our Dog Died.

theoutsider's picture

Submitted by theoutsider on Wed, 10/02/2013 - 11:53pm

Our dog died tonight.

I'm stunned. Sad. Angry. Numb. I had no idea I could feel all of this at once.

My boyfriend, me, a cousin in law, and the ten year old boy had the dog off the leash in the back yard. The dog has never ran after cars before, and never gone in the road, but he heard a semi and ran after it. All four of us, including the 10 year old boy saw the dog get run over. The two girls age 12 and 8 were at their grandparent's house. They were dropped off less than a half hour later and had to tell them immediately because they didn't see him and asked...
I won't get into details but it was very obvious the dog was terminal. It is 20 miles to the nearest city and was well past vet office hours. I wanted to put the dog in the back of the car and drive. My boyfriend and his cousin in law had to rationalize with me that the dog was not going to live and would not make the drive into town to be euthanized. It felt like it took so long, but it all took less than 10 minutes from being hit to being buried in the pasture. The boy started crying immediately but had calmed down by the time we buried him.
Then within minutes the girls showed up. And we had to tell them.

We brought everyone inside and just as we told them and they started crying...In the middle of all this caos, the house phone rang. I answered the phone "hello" "I want to talk to my kids" "(BM) tonight is not a good night, (Bio DAD) will email you" "Oh? And why the fuck is it not a good night?" "(Bio DAD) will email you, ok, thanks" and I hung up. The kids start bawling louder. BM then called the house phone back. And my boyfriend asked the kids "Do you want to talk?" One girl ran crying down stairs to the basement. The other ran crying to the bathroom and the boy just sat there and shook his head. My boyfriend told me to just let it ring. He went after one girl and I went after the other and got all the kids back in the same room again. Then BM called his cell phone. He didn't answer it but told the kids "hold on let me tell your mom what's going on" and pulled out the computer and wrote an email "(BM), Our dog just died. Please respect my wishes and stop calling. The kids are very upset and crying. They do not want to talk to anyone. (BioDAD)" A few minutes later he gets an email saying "(BioDad),I called to speak to the kids and (Oustider) said tonight is not a g Po od night. She also said you would email me and thwn hung up on me when I asked to apeak to you. I dont appreciate the attitude feom your girlfriend nor do I accept her keeping me from talking to my children over the phone. I want to hear from them. If I dont I will make a phone call that im certain you will not appreciate but that im sure will assure me that my kids are ok.(BM-she wrote her name in all caps)"
He did not respond.

I am so F-ing numb. I can;t even get an evening to mourn my dog without BM pushing her way into our lives.

This is how my life is going to be,... Major event and I am still F-ing dealing with her!

I could have totally understood BM flipping shit without an explanation of what was going on,... but HE tells her the kids are crying because OUR DOG DIED and they don't want to talk and she is threatening to make phone calls to who knows where????? WTF WTF WTF
Sad God I just want her gone out of this world!

Comments

Kes's picture

Submitted by Kes on Thu, 10/03/2013 - 2:47am

Gosh, that's awful - I am so sorry for you - as one dog lover to another. I would be devastated if this happened to me. As for BM, what a c**t.

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Thu, 10/03/2013 - 3:27am

If she makes the mistake of calling CPS then immediately file harrassment charges, terroristic threat charges, etc... and bring the pain down on her interfering manipulative toxic ass with every legal and behavioral tool you have at your disposal.

The only thing that toxic toothless morons like her recognize is pain. So bring it.

My condolences on the loss of your beloved pet.

sasha101's picture

Submitted by sasha101 on Thu, 10/03/2013 - 4:53am

I'm so sorry to read about your loss. Dogs are like family and I can't imagine how horrible it must have been, and watching it happen like that must have been the most traumatic thing ever. I hope you and your family are okay, but it's bound to haunt you all for a long time to come. As for the BM, she sounds like a real selfish, controlling POS who has no thought for anyone. It defies belief that she could be so insensitive at a time like that and I just hope she doesn't make things worse for the skids as it sounds like they're distressed enough already. Some of these BM's love drama and will use anything to score points even if it hurts their own kids, and she's managed to use an already traumatic event to cause shit and make it worse for everyone. My skids BM did something similar when DH's mother died and it made me sick. As for threatening to report you to someone, it's probably an empty threat just to cause more trouble but if she does she won't get very far and will end up showing herself for what she is - a nasty, selfish woman who cares more about scoring points than letting her kids deal with their grief.

theoutsider's picture

Submitted by theoutsider on Thu, 10/03/2013 - 6:39am

Thank you all for your sympathy.

It is going to be a long time grieving, the oldest girl has the job of feeding him every morning and night.
We are all feeling personally responsible for one reason or another...

The kids have visitation tonight 5:45pm to 7:30pm... And well you just know BM is going to say something to bring it up and the kids are going to cry all over again.

twoviewpoints's picture

Submitted by twoviewpoints on Thu, 10/03/2013 - 6:44am

I'm so sorry about the dog. My animals are like family members around here and I know it must have been terrible to watch as your dear friend passed.

At times such as you experienced it's hard to deal with intruding BS like with the calls/emails from BM. I'm sure looking back you probably think you should have just quickly said to BM 'I'm sorry right now is not a good time, I'll have the kids call you back in a little bit' and hoped the BM had enough sense to know whatever was going on her kids were basically 'ok' and safe with their father. But yeah I know, nobody thinks straight when their heart is breaking and their kids are in melt down mode. The intruding BM got p*ssed when it was you who denied a phone call from her to kids. She'd have been just as p*ssed if no one had answered the phone at all. You did the best you could under the circumstances.

It's sad when two houses have to be so intruded upon. It's one thing to be expected to have reasonable contact, but immediate on-demand no matter what is not appropriate. Obviously if there was something 'wrong' with the kids requiring parental contact, DH would call her, this had nothing to do with anything requiring BM. Unless hanging up on her was a repeat typical thing where you routinely denied the BM , BM should have known this was an atypical occurrence and not a case of you being defiant. I couldn't handle having somebody calling me in the middle of what was to me a crisis and pulling sh*t. BM shouldn't have to be immediately informed of anything and everything going on at your home unless it directly involves the kids where her being informed would be necessary. And to call in the thick of it? You did better probably than I would have. I might have totally did something stupid like 'look b*tch leave us alone for one night' and slammed phone down. Which I know would just make it worse. I never had to deal with a BM in my situation. There was no BM to call or fight in court or any of the BM things so many of you ladies have to deal with. For me, there was no BM.

Anyway, may your dog rest in peace. My kids have a small pet cemetery out in a back section of my garden. They put a field stone in center as the official gravestone. Some of the best friends I ever had rest in that little cemetery. Hugs to you this morning.

AlreadyGone's picture

Submitted by AlreadyGone on Thu, 10/03/2013 - 8:26am

So sorry for the loss of your furkid. Even sorrier that BM had to add to an already horrible situation. (((HUGS))).

DaizyDuke's picture

Submitted by DaizyDuke on Thu, 10/03/2013 - 8:41am

Oh no, I am so sorry! I can't imagine anything worse than seeing it happen! Our dog decided to chase one of the horses one day and I stood and watched helplessly when he got kicked in the head. Thankfully it was a near miss and just took some of his hair off his head and also thankfully scared him enough that he has never donee it again, but I remember the shear panic/terror and standing there watching it unfold and not being able to do anything about it. Sad

So sorry Sad

goincrazy.com's picture

Submitted by goincrazy.com on Thu, 10/03/2013 - 11:30am

How devastating Sad I'm sorry.

I would have freaked the f out on that b!%$#. UGH - worst timing ever