First she said I had not grieved my loss.

Within the last year I have lost my job, my future career, and the full function of my dominant hand, which has led to me losing all of my hobbies and recreational activities, and I've gone from being a single independent woman pursuing her life goals to being slapped into a dependent relationship and taking care of three kids which aren't mine and I've stopped all self care.
She asked if I have grieved and my answer was "I've cried a lot" and she responded, "Any other stages of grief? Anger? Anything?"
Of course no,... She said although this isn't a death in my family, it is a huge loss and I need to grieve it just like anything else.

She also suggested we get a housekeeper. My boyfriend has mentioned this before, so I'm going to bring it up again. The therapist said, "You aren't his wife, you aren't their stepmother. You have taken the role of both, but until he takes the next step, stop doing everything to take care of him or his kids."
So, in a sense she told me to disengage, without saying those words specifically.

She also said she wants to see my boyfriend in there with me at some point. That he is parenting out of guilt and is not setting boundaries with his ex or with his kids,...That kids need structure and expect what is coming to know they are loved. So, she thinks hearing this from her will be different than me saying it to him.

She also said the biggest reason why I am getting static from all the women in my boyfriend's life is because psychologically I have threatened all of their women-hood and parenting skills. By me coming in and making changes which I am labeling as "for the betterment of the kids" (which she said they were all good changes which should have been made or taught long ago) but nevertheless I came into the picture and identified problems, which all of the women see as a threat, because they did not see the problems were there. So when I got on the 12 year old that she needed to blow her hair dry, his sister got defensive, because she didn't see the girl had wet hair and might get sick. When I said the kids were getting alarm clocks to learn how to wake up in the morning, grandma got defensive because she always woke the kids up in the morning and they never used alarm clocks. When it was a birthday gift that my boyfriend's oldest sister invited girl12 out for her birthday and I put my foot down and said I didn't care how much the spoiled 8 year old girl was crying, it was the 12 year old's birthday present...-I pointed out a fairness issue that the sister didn't identify and she got defensive that she was allowing something that was unfair to the 12 year old and showing favoritism to the 8 year old.

So, I actually do feel a little better. It's kinda like I got validation for my feelings.

The therapist said I need to make goals for myself, so we have a direction that therapy is going. Not really sure what I want, but I feel good about it.