What is an acceptable GPA for skid??
BM is taking us to court for college expenses. SD will be a freshman and her high school GPA was very low, so she wasn't able to get into any other college except community college. My DH and I are in the process of negotiations about who will pay for what etc. etc. One of the stipulations we have is that SD maintain a GPA of 3.0. BM said no, that was way to high for a freshman (SD is only taking 15 hours and doesn't even have a job). We brought it down to 2.5 (meeting in the middle) and she is sticking to a 2.0. We've said that if SD expects to get into a 4 year college, she needs to have a higher GPA. But I'm wondering from all of you - are we being unreasonable? Do you think 2.0 is ok for a freshman taking 15 hours at a community college while she's unemployed?? Maybe my expectations are too high - what do you guys think? FYI - SD thinks she is going to be a veterinarian. I KNOW that requires a VERY high GPA.
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She will never be a
She will never be a veterinarian at this rate. She will be a vet tech. If she really aims as high as to be a vet, then there is no reason she should not be able to maintain 3.0 or higher.
My friend's daughter is now in college and intends to go to veterinary school. She had valedictorian level GPA in high school and similar so far in college. Why would a vet school choose your SD over a girl like that? Really, that's the competition your SD faces.
If she's supposed to be a vet, insist on the 3.0 because it's the bare minimum to pursue that life plan. If they want to go down to 2.0, insist on being provided with a new and realistic life plan that is consistent with that GPA.
Without these types of strings attached, you may be on the hook for indefinite college years $$ and still end up with an unemployable daughter. Like everyone else who attends college, there needs to be an understanding that resources are not infinite and expectations part of the package.
I agree, stick with the 3.0.
I agree, stick with the 3.0. Most vet schools won't even let you apply if your GPA is below a 3.0 (I mean you can apply, but you will not be considered at all). The Universities here require a 2.6 to transfer in.
Agreed ^^^^ When I went to
Agreed ^^^^
When I went to college- I was paying for it myself, so maybe this is where the different thinking comes in, but I was aiming for as high as I could. I never set the bar so low for myself.
Thank you all for the input.
Thank you all for the input. To answer sueu2 - skid had extremely low grades in high school and her ACT score didn't even break 15 points. She is almost 19 and still doesn't have a drivers license or a job. My concern is paying good money that we can use for on going medical bills and our own student loans on an education for a skid who has not been willing to work or show any kind of ambition toward bettering herself. She tends to have her hand out more than learning to fend for herself. That is my concern. If she was going to take advantage of someone paying for her college and get a degree - good for her, we will be happy to pay for expenses. So far this summer the most ambition she has shown was letting me know when we needed more groceries. I wouldn't pay for my own kids' college if they had those low grades and ambition, it irritates me that the courts force parents to pay for college, even when a child hasn't earned the right to get the money. I think that if we all stopped paying her way, she may grow up a little.
There is nothing wrong for
There is nothing wrong for having stipulations on paying. She is giving SD a chance to succeed, and herself an out if SD wastes that chance. Most scholarships require a student to maintain a 3.0.
Actually I have said
Actually I have said repeatedly that we should not pay - my husband agrees. We have put everything out on the table for SD, BM and attorneys. Our attorneys don't think we should pay at all - but our state disagrees in the case of kids from divorce. In our state we are required to pay for college, and possibly skid's car, gas, cell phone, clothes, etc. She is not considered independent until she finds a job and can survive on her own. We are not JUST talking about college tuition/books. We have no choice but to pay for her until she finishes college. All parties agree we have to put stipulations on college - even the skid. I was just wondering what a reasonable GPA would be.
Sorry you got insulted,
Sorry you got insulted, Sydney99, you did not deserve it at all.
Most non-divorced parents and scholarships require a certain standard for the kid to continue in college, why wouldn't your family?
College can easily be a way to delay adulthood indefinitely if there's a money tap that cuts off only at graduation. Heck, there are plenty of movies about this very thing.
She may not be ready for college yet. In which case, sending her simply to party and buy some pre-written term papers will be doing harm to to the girl. If she's not ready, she can go out into the workforce and learn about life and the value of a dollar AND the value of a job that feels gratifying on top of the paycheck.
Maybe in her mid to late 20's she'll realize she actually wants the education and she'll go back and really work at it and choose a suitable major. She will value that education.
But if she goes now only as a way to avoid having to work at anything she will never value the education nor really have gotten one since she won't be paying attention in class or doing the homework.
If you hold her to standards now and she fails them and the money cuts off, you are actually giving her a chance to get the education when she's ready for it instead of squander it now. You are also giving her the chance to possibly have a light go on over her head--if she knows she has to get good grades she will actually focus and she might find that moment where she realizes she actually enjoyed learning something and is proud of herself. Do not deprive of her that opportunity by endorsing the idea she can scrape by without learning or achieving.
thank you so much for your
thank you so much for your response chiefgrownup!! You really understood what I was trying to say - summed it up very nicely. I think many kids do delay growing up by hiding behind college. Unfortuanly she has a BM that tries to keep her there so she can get more $$. It's frustrating, but I guess that's life! Thanks again!
I guess part of your
I guess part of your expectations should hinge on what her grades were like in high school. Although, even for sports in college, students usually have to maintain a 2.5. I would expect a 3.0 personally...but that's me. I figure any kid who can get into college, and who isn't working to stay in college, should be able to at least get all B's or passing grades.
We've already had that.
We've already had that.
To be considered for most vet
To be considered for most vet programs she needs to maintain a 3.5 or better. First semester she really shouldn't take more than 12 hours. Especially if her gpa was not the greatest. The biggest issue kids with low gpa's going into college is not whether they are smart enough to do the work, it's whether they are smart with their time to get the work done.
I apologize, I was typing
I apologize, I was typing while and trying to multi-task and meant to type she is taking 12 hours - not 15. SORRY!! I guess multi-tasking isn't my strong suit!
BM has the education to be an
BM has the education to be an LPN, but has worked less than 1 year as long as I've know my DH (20 years). BM is now almost 50 and has been married 6 times. She doesn't work - jumps from husband to husband for the $$ and then gets child support when they divorce. BM doesn't value hard work and dedication, which is unfortunate.
3.0 is not hard to get if you
3.0 is not hard to get if you give a modicum of a $hit. If she tries it should not be difficult.