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YET ANOTHER HOLIDAY RUINED BY SS

SW2613's picture

Since we got together, SS or BM or both have ruined every single holiday. Thanksgiving, Christmas, my birthday, our wedding day, honeymoon, f'n arbor day it doesnt matter the day he ruins it. How can I live a life where no day can be nice or special? How can I bring kids into this life where no day is special and everything gets ruined or complicated? It's really starting to make me doubt our marriage and make me regret getting with especially since dh doesnt even attempt to try to make things special or try to make up/compensate for how his bullshit ruins and makes my life miserable. I devote my entire life to him and his kid. I am pretty much his sole parent as BM isnt always around and is a worthless/crazy/abusive piece of shit and dh doesnt always do what's right but instead does what's easiest. During SS's ww3 fit, dh even said that he hated being a parent. All of this occurred in front of our guests. My mom said to him that "if you feel like that then my daughter should divorce you tomorrow as to not waste any more of her life." He got mad at her and yelled at her. I just don't know if I cant keep taking so much care of someone who ruins my life. I want kids so bad but don't want to bring them into a stressful household. I really just don't know what to do. I need help amd advice. How do I figure out if dh is worth putting up with this life?

Comments

Desparte housewife's picture

I hear you... I know exactly how you feel. My SS just complains about my on Facebook to his 1000 friends. He thinks he is so above everyone.

SW2613's picture

Yep, you have definitely told me before that I need to take time for myself and make myself a priority. I haven't been doing that :(. I talked to dh after reading your post about taking some time off. He told me no. He said that he's not going anywhere and I have nowhere to go, so it's just not going to happen. It's true. I have nowhere to go and no money to go anywhere. I told him that I'm seriously thinking and questioning whether or not I want this life. He came close to crying while promising me that things will get better, and he is trying harder. I told him that I want children and can't be with someone who hates parenting. He then got upset that he can't ever just say something out of anger without it being taken literally. He said that he doesn't hate parenting, it's just that parenting SS is so hard as he can be so damn hateful. I talked to my older brother about everything, and he said that I should give it 6 months as to not make any rash decisions in the heat of an emotional moment. Since then, things have been better, and dh has been making more of an effort to show me that he loves and appreciates. With that being said, I am definitely going to make myself a priority. In fact, dh is encouraging that idea.

Thanks for all your kind words and the hugs Smile