Stepson went crazy the other day
I haven't written about my oldest SS(15) in a while. My youngest SS is not a problem at all and is actually very sweet, but I worry about him being around his brother and what it might do to him.
On Friday, oldest SS was taken to a behavioral home for beating up my husband. He has been completely out of control lately, and he snapped the other day after my husband went to pick him up at his mom's house. My husband's ex called him and said she needed a break from him (as if we wanted him around), so my husband went to pick him up. Luckily, oldest SS decided he would rather live with his mom after he declared that he didn't like me and tried to get my husband to choose between him and me. That didn't work, so off he went to mom's.
After my husband arrived at his ex's house to pick him up and take him out for a little while, he had a friend over. One of his rules he is supposed to follow is no friends over when nobody is home. Of course, he turns around the moment his mom leaves and invites one over. My husband told him that his friend had to leave, and that he knew he wasn't supposed to invite anyone over. So, SS reacted how he usually reacts when someone in authority tells him what to do/what not to do. He went crazy. Only this time instead of hitting brick walls or throwing things, he began hitting my husband in the chest in the front yard, and one of the neighbors ended up calling the police. The police came, handcuffed the little shit and took him to a local psychiatric hospital for kids with behavior issues and drug problems. That's where he needs to be. And I hope he is there for a very long time. They have not said how long they are keeping him. I guess it depends on his behavior. I'm sure he will try to be good as gold there just so he can get out, and then go back to his old ways when he is released.
So, after all of this, SS said he didn't want to talk to his dad ever again. Which is fine with me but also weird because my SS is the one that beat up my husband. He loves to blame everyone but himself for his shitty behavior. My husband said he is done with him and that his relationship with him will be different after this.. My husband said it was different when he was younger and would misbehave, but now that SS is bigger and stronger, he can overpower my husband now. I would like to think that things will change, but my husband will end up feeling bad and giving the brat everything he wants because of what happened to win him back. And not correcting his bad behavior or making him have consequences for his actions. And he will end up in the same position because the kid NEVER has had any consequences for his actions. I told my husband I no longer could be around the kid. Not even for a couple of hours. If he wants to see him, he will have to see him outside of our home because I don't feel safe with him. I told my husband that SS is a danger and to think about how his behavior is affecting him, his other son, my daughter, me, the kid's mom and SS's sister (stepson's mom had a child with another man). And that how when he's around, everyone's life is in turmoil.
In addition to his violent tendencies, he huffs, vapes, does weed, is failing most of his subjects in school, started dressing weird and getting piercings behind his dad's back, does not listen to a word any adult says, is defiant, confrontational, selfish, has threatened to run away, claims he cuts himself and is suicidal, cusses his parents out regularly, calls his mom a bitch all the time, locks himself in his mom's bathroom if he doesn't want to do something, hits on numerous girls on Instagram, and is constantly sullen and moody. The kid is out of control. He has ADHD and I'm quite sure he has other mental issues. He has been under the care of a psychiatrist and therapist and had to stay in a crisis center earlier this year for cutting (or saying he was cutting himself). I have no idea what else he has been diagnosed with, but he is currently on an antipsychotic drug which is obviously not helping.
All I know is that I am done with him and I have no idea what kind of future this psycho will have. I'm glad he moved in with his mom months ago and I hope to God it stays that way.
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Comments
He sounds like he has
He sounds like he has Borderline Personality Disorder traits. People tend to only attribute that to women/girls, but boys/men can have it too. Oppositional Defiant Disorder, as well. He should be in residential care, I hope they get it for him.
What a nightmare.
Yikes, I would not be able to
Yikes, I would not be able to deal with this. Get that kid in a boot camp!
Cant wait til the authority
Cant wait til the authority he wont listen to is a cop and he gets tazed and pisses or shits himself. Sorry I have anger issues with kids like this. Im done with this spoiled entitled generation to the point that I quit teaching.
Sounds very mental
Whatever the root causes or names for whatever disorder this child has, having him removed to a place that may be able to deal is way better than having a disney dad that wont parent him.
When he gets older, it will just get worse! Especialy when he turns 18 and can legally buy a gun. But its especially important to protect your littles.
Sounds like a long horrible tale of a young cretin who turned vicious and parents who are either giving up, or not willing to set and enforce boundaries.
Good luck!
Sounds like my SS34. He was
Sounds like my SS34. He was recommended for in patient psychiatric treatment before he even started school. Fortunately I did not meet him until he was in his 20s. Of course I was not there - but I do not think DH or BM coddled him. Nor was he Disney parented. They sent him to multiple treatment programs and lots of psychiatric care. His mother has a fairly senior position (scientific) at a major hospital. SS's maternal grandfather was bi-polar. He was a doctor, head of a small hospital and a very "respected" man of the community - by the standards of 50 years ago. BUT he would go thru spells where he would spend all their money, drink to excess and womanize like crazy.
SS has torn up multiple apartments, etc and has a long history of violence. The first time I ever met him he was black and blue as someone had beaten the pulp out of him. He spent 3 1/2 years in juvie for some crime no one will talk about. He lived with DH for about 3-4 years after he got out - but DH had to evict him with a police escort for violence against him.
SS is an admitted alcoholic. He gets uncontrollably violent when drunk. He's beaten up an elderly man and a few girlfriends. He's served jail time too as neither DH nor BM would pay a fine to get him out. He just is what he is.
My best friend and her husband (intact family) have a daughter who is now 40. She is bipolar and will not take meds. Her parents were about as close to perfect as any parents could be - their other children are wonderful. The daughter has been a nightmare forever. I think she's in jail now. They literally spent 100s of thousands of dollars on in patient treatment for her. She self medicates with alcohol and then moved on to meth.
Sometimes there is nothing that anyone can do. Except protect themselves and their other children.
It sounds like something much
It sounds like something much more serious than ADHD. ADHD does not have behavior like that on its own. Hopefully this facilty can get him the help and meds he needs. It really sounds like he needs to be one something...
Sometimes thing just happen with mental health, the important thing is that he is getting help now and hopefully a place of healing for everyone can come after this. If not, just make sure you and the others are protected from him, it sounds like you DH has his eyes open and will be vigilant in keeping him from you.
I am so sorry your family is
I am so sorry your family is going thru this.
Update: It looks like SS is
Update: It looks like SS is being released tomorrow. I don't understand how a kid with this many problems can be released after just 7 days! My husband refuses to pick him up, and is leaving it up to the kid's mother. She already tried to push it on my husband when she said she would be out of town for most of the day. He told her she can just pick him up when she gets back. Because he said he doesn't want anything to do with him right now.
While SS was away, my husband ended up buying a plan for his cell phone that allows him access to his sons' phones: to block certain sites, set time limits for the internet, track the kid and see what the kid is doing on his phone. Youngest SS didn't argue once about it and let my husband install it on his phone. I think this is a good thing because I think a lot of problems in kid's lives today can be attributed to social media and cell phones. Oldest SS has set a code that no one know, so nobody can get past the home screen on his phone. SS's phone is needed so that my husband can scan information that will allow the app to work on SS's phone. The whole time he has been gone, his mother has had his phone (my husband pays for it, though).
The decision was made to install this app because the phone has been a huge problem with SS. It has gotten him in a lot of trouble. My husband told his ex about having limits set on his phone and she agreed this was one way to keep him out of trouble. SS has blocked everyone in his family from his Instagram account, but others have told us about the trash he has on there (things about suicide, cutting, death, drugs, filthy language, hard core rap etc) and how he uses it to hit on every girl at his school.
Anyway, SS has been allowed two phone calls a day and he always calls his mom rather than my husband. Which is totally fine with me. So his mom talked to SS the other day and explained about the limits that will be placed on his phone. My husband said it is either that, or he has the phone disconnected altogether. SS threw a huge fit on the phone with her and refuses to give her the code. Oh well, I guess we can just disconnect the phone. One less thing to pay for for that selfish little ingrate. Maybe his little tantrum will buy him some more time in the mental hospital.