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Becoming the "bigger" person...

str8_trippin's picture

Well I just got back from a long wonderful vacation in CA and wanted to drop in and see how everyone was gettin along...Boy, was I appalled when I read the infamous anonomous comment made in reference to the fantasies of retribution blog. Absolutely stunning how people are willing to poison their children's minds. It really got my wheels turning. I've been doing the whole step-parent bit for 7 years now, since the age of 20, and I will admit-in my younger less mature days, I had my share of ill-willed fantasies. Now, it took me sometime to realize that our thoughts should be closely monitered. All these negative, hateful feelings and thoughts are dangerous- they NEVER help any situation. I no longer want BM to suffer or fail, she's already done plenty of that, and all it does is hurt SS. I find myself now more than ever hoping she will finally be successful, happy, sane etc...I know it sounds strange, but I just want a better life for my SS. And no matter how much crap she has put him and us through, I will always hope that she finally "GETS IT". That being some emotional intelligence, so hopefully some of it can rub off on SS before it's too late. I wanted to share one of my favorite quotes from the famous sleeping prophet, Edgar Cayce:

Be what thou prayest to be made.

If you pray that people become more compassionate, become more compassionate.

If you pray that people become more tolerant, become more tolerant.

If you pray that people become more honest, become more honest.

If you pray that people become more generous, become more generous.

If you pray that people start giving again, to animals, to children, to the homeless, to the rain forests, to those with incurable diseases, to charities whose work you believe in, start giving again.

If you pray that this world becomes healthier, become healthier.

If you pray that this world becomes more peaceful, become more peaceful.

If you pray that this world and all of us who share it do far, far better than we have been to repay our debt of grattitude to our loving God who knows the Way, and is the Way, do far, far better to repay your debt of grattitude to God.

Be what thou prayest to be made.

ALSO, I'VE COMPILED A LIST OF BOOKS I HAVE READ THAT OFFER A LOT OF VALUABLE INFORMATION. VALUABLE BECAUSE IT CAN MAKE A HUGE DIFFERENCE IN THE LIFE OF OUR (STEP)CHILDREN AS WELL AS OUR OWN. I RECOMMEND TO ANYONE.(STEP)PARENTS OR NOT

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE BY DANIEL GOLEMAN

THE IRREDUCIBLE NEEDS OF CHILDREN BY T.BERRY BRAZELTON AND STANLEY GREENSPAN

THE MORAL INTELLIGENCE OF CHILDREN BY ROBERT COLES

HOW TO RAISE A CHILD WITH A HIGH E.Q.(EMOTIONAL QUOTIENT) BY LAWRENCE SHAPIRO

TEACHING TOLERANCE BY SARAH BULLARD

FORGIVENESS IS A CHOICE BY ROBERT ENRIGHT

TOXIC PARENTS BY SUSAN FORWARD

PRISONERS OF CHILDHOOD BY ALICE MILLER

PARENTS AS MENTORS BY SANDRA BURT AND LINDA PERLIS

I HOPE THIS CAN HELP SOMEBODY!!!

Comments

justwantpeace's picture

I am SM and I just wish BM would get her life in order and be happy so that she can let us be happy. I don't wish bad things on her, other than for her to quit making our lives hell, but if she could be happy, I think things would be so much different for everyone and she would quit blaming all of her unhappiness on us.

Cruella's picture

I really don't want bad things to happen to BM only because of the SKIDS. Well I have got to be honest I am human and after all of the BS she has put us through and continues to put us through I can't say I didn't wish a bus would run her over. But I do try to take control of these negative feelings and turn it around for my own health. Like you all I want is peace.

Cruella's picture

OMG I never thought of that LOL!!!

str8_trippin's picture

Indeed these women have tested all of our sanity!!! I truly do get pissed from time to time, no question about it. Hell, there's nothing wrong with righteous anger, as long as it's managed. How could she? Is she out of her f*ckin mind? I've had many a restless night worrying about SS and cursing her stupidity. I guess I have finally come to accept her idiocracy as it is. Now I just hope for her to better her situations and leave us the hell alone!!!

"All that we are is a result of what we have thought."- Buddha

stamina's picture

We have been separated for a long time and surprisingly I felt very sad when I heard this news. Sad for my children, sad that our relationship didn't work, sad for the pain that he is feeling. I don't have feelings for him but I do feel something about the situation.

Interestingly enough, even though I am remarried to someone with whom I share goals and dreams and interests, we don't share out children which really is the future of a family. And that for me is sad too. Does that sound crazy?

Sebbie's picture

De inimico non loquaris sed cogities.
One of my recent posts was about the emptiness I feel in regards to not being able to have a child with DH. But I do agree Daddysgurl, if there is no child between us to make him choose to stay with me, then it is me alone he chooses to stay with and that is in and of itself a very beautiful feeling. As for the bm, I do not wish ill on her either. I believe that peace can be found in this life,and though she and I may never have a "friendship" I do hope that a day will come that she will work to have an amicable relationship with me for the sake of ss alone.