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There's no way I'm giving up my weekends

Stpmum11's picture

Submitted by Stpmum11 on Thu, 12/15/2011 - 12:01am

So Im the primary caretaker of ss5. Dh works 12-15hrs a day and bm is a POS mother. BM has him on the weekends. The past four years bm has been in 6 or 7 different relationships with men and women and has moved probably around 7 or 8 times. So dh and I were talking and he goes on how he doesn't want ss5 to go with bm on the weekends anymore because bm lives in the projects and that she's in a homosexual relationship and he doesn't want ss around that. Now I do Everything when it comes to ss5. We also have a bd1. My weekend is my only time I have to myself due to the fact my mother takes Bd1 sat and sun. There is. I way In hell I'm going to have ss5 in my face for the whole weekend just because bm is a loser and a lesbian. That's not my problem. I think I do more than enough as it is for dh to try and make me feel guilty about not wanting to keep him. Bm still has a responsibility to her son. The stupid bitch is already kid free all week, what and who and where she has him on the weekends is none of my concern. I think dh is being very selfish in trying to put more stress on me when he isnt even home 90% of the time

Comments

AliceP's picture

Submitted by AliceP on Thu, 12/15/2011 - 12:31am

Assuming during her short visits she returns ss5 whole and complete I think you should tell DH "None of us got to chose our parents." Tell him his reasonings are not based on the best interest of the child but rather his disdain at her lifestyle. And that's not fair, he should get to know his mother and her personality as natrually as possible......if that doesn't work just say well I'm taking the weekend off cause I need a break.

bearcub25's picture

Submitted by bearcub25 on Thu, 12/15/2011 - 8:22am

Well....yes....DH did pick the female parent. That doesn't give him the right to pick who births em and who then pick someone else to raise them.

Disneyfan's picture

Submitted by Disneyfan on Thu, 12/15/2011 - 4:58am

The next time he brings it up, give him a big hug and kiss. Then smile and tell him you're so happy he has decided not to work weekends anymore. Tell him that you and DD will stay at your mom's. That way he and SS will have tons of one on one time.

branmuffin97's picture

Submitted by branmuffin97 on Thu, 12/15/2011 - 8:37am

OMG...I can't stop laughing at the "vetted her more thoroughly" comment! I love it!!!! It's so true...THEY picked them. They had sex and created a child with them...period. Their choice....and sometimes they act like whiney children when they complain about them. Sorry guys...your actions have consequences..isn't that an important lesson we want our children to learn? Think, with your real brain, before you act??

Anyway...I will be repeating that line in real life...for sure! Thanks for the laugh.

nononsense's picture

Submitted by nononsense on Thu, 12/15/2011 - 6:49am

SO typical of Men! Girl if you have a place to go on weekends, Hell Yea go!! I wish I did so I would not have to deal with SD6. There are weekends that I just dont want her around period. WHY??? Because she is exhausting to deal with and wears me out mentally during the week with all her bullshit drama. If I could afford to go stay in a hotel with my son on weekends I would just to not have to be around her.

Dragonflyo226's picture

Submitted by Dragonflyo226 on Thu, 12/15/2011 - 8:38am

Similar situation hanging over my head. SO was working 2nd shift for a few months, so we had mini-majesty4 every weekend, well now SO is back on 1st shift so we can go back to the original schedule, Tues, Thurs & EOW (he also usually takes him on the off Sun.).
I knew he was going to give me a hard time, so I intentionally invited people over this weekend for a pre-holiday get together, no kids allowed!
The other night he starts telling me how he knows that mini-majesty is gonna flip this weekend cuz he's not coming to see Daddy. I said, "If you're that concerned about it then take a couple hours in the afternoon & go do something with him. It's yours and BM's responsibility to explain to him and get him to understand that things are going back to the way they use to be."
He then tells me he doesn't like the idea of BM's fiancee looking after his son when he is perfectly capable. I took that opportunity to let him know that I NEED things to go back to the original schedule, to which he didn't respond.
I have this funny feeling that he's going to pick mini-majesty4 up under the guise of spending a couple hours with him & then bring him back here swearing he couldn't stand disappointing him.

alwaysanxious's picture

Submitted by alwaysanxious on Thu, 12/15/2011 - 9:10am

If DH didn't like the type of person BM was, I guess he shouldn't have had kids with her. She's their mom and he may not like the lifestyle, but that's not your problem.

Guilting you for HIS problems, you should definitely call him out on that one.

skylarksms's picture

Submitted by skylarksms on Thu, 12/15/2011 - 9:16am

Being a lesbian may make it harder to HAVE kids but I'm pretty sure it doesn't diminish your ability to RAISE kids.

branmuffin97's picture

Submitted by branmuffin97 on Thu, 12/15/2011 - 9:24am

^^^^This. Make sure bd keeps his feelings on mom's sexuality to himself. I would consider that a form of PAS if a child heard dad questioning mom's abilities due to the equipment she likes her SO's to have.

overit2's picture

Submitted by overit2 on Thu, 12/15/2011 - 9:58am

"After all, he should have vetted her more thoroughly before sticking his dick in a lesbian." LMAO...that's what I think all the time about bf and his lesbian ex when he complains....but then I feel bad because of the reality of things.