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Good points about being a stepmum

Storm76's picture

Chatting to my OH last night he mentioned that he went to his 2nd choice university cos his grades weren't high enough, and if he had his life would be completely different as he would have moved to another city, never have met BM or me.

I realised that much as I never set out to be with someone who had a child already, without his son he wouldn't be the man he is today, and so would I have met him and if so, fallen in love with him?

So, here's my list of the good points of being a stepmum:

1. I know in advance of having a baby what sort of father my OH will be
2. I feel part of a family rather than 'just' a girlfriend
3. I get a taster of having children to help me decide if I want them myself
4. My OH is a responsible adult, partly because of having a child
5. When SS hugs me, or demonstrates that he likes me, I know it's because of me, not because he feels he has to
6. As OH got badly burned before, I know that when he makes a commitment to me he is really sure
7. I've found a brilliant place to talk to people in a similar situation who know completely what I'm going through

Anyone got any others to add to the list?

Comments

Kb3Hooah's picture

I can't come up with anymore, I think you pretty much summed it up, but what I do fear the most about us both having kids when we came into our relationship together, is that we really didnt get to spend time together as a couple without there being kids involved....so when the kids are all grown up and out of the house, will we have anything in common, or anything to even talk about?? That scares me.

___________________________________________________________________________
“Unless commitment is made, there are only promises and hopes; but no plans.”

Storm76's picture

I guess that's where I'm lucky as we only have SS EOW, so we get plenty of time together just us (and we're really dull, spend far too much time watching CSI!)

Can you not instigate 'date night' once a month or something? Get a babysitter in & go out, with the one proviso that you don't discuss the kids at all?

Kb3Hooah's picture

Actually my children's grandmother gets them every other Saturday night, this is also the weekends that BM has the skids, so we get a night twice a month to ourselves. It is sooo nice, and I'm so thankful for it. I need to get more creative though with the time we do have alone together, especially with a tight budget!

___________________________________________________________________________
“Unless commitment is made, there are only promises and hopes; but no plans.”

Austen's picture

Bonus!
Three people who every day tell me they love me, instead of just one.